It has been a long, long while

I don't know what happened but for some reasons, they temporarily shut down my blog. Because I'm not updating for so long? hahaha Anyway, here I am, back again for so many kwentos and I don't know where to start. Warning: this entry might have so many flight of ideas.. hehe

I've been so busy these past few months with work, family issues, and friends.

Let's start with work. Since they gave me a secretary visa for the meantime, my job is more on paperworks. Meaning I do the accounts, coordinate with the bank and insurance people, answer emails, give receipts to patients, and answer telephone calls (mainly). I find my job a little bit more stressful than being a nurse because I DEAL WITH MONEY. And if there's anything wrong with my computation then I'll be a dead meat. Having a foreigner boss also adds to my stress. He is very moody! Sometimes he shouts for no reason at all, and sometimes he's very sweet and kind. He's very fickle-minded. And most of the time I can't understand his barok english! But who cares, he's my employer and he's giving me money. Woohoo! :P

About my family issues, it's still about my parents. They're still thinking about having a legal separation. And my father is still the one who's trying to bind them. He's still trying to fix this marital issues. They're also planning to go here in Dubai this coming Eid and I'm really, really hoping they are in good terms when they come here.

About my friends here, I'm very thankful I have wonderful people around me. I'm having a lot of fun here in Dubai because of them. ü

To be continued...

The Girl taken for granted

She doesn't know you that much but she gave you a chance.

She's not ready to meet someone yet but she gave you her trust.

She waits for your call in the afternoon even if she has something more important to do.

She waits for your call in the wee hours of the night even if she's already tired.

She waits for your text, hoping that you ate well and you got home safely.

She stays in front of the computer waiting for you to go online.

She sings for you just to make you happy.

She makes you laugh with her crazy stories and jokes.

She listens to your stories and remembers every details of them.


She gets paranoid whenever you wouldn't call her.

She doesn't get mad even if she knows deep inside, you're just making excuses.

She still talks to you even if she wanted to avoid you.

She believed you when you said you will never ever leave her and you'll always be at her side.

She still hopes that everything will be fine and you will realize her worth.


But despite all her efforts and heartaches, you still left her and taken her for granted.

But still, she never got mad when you said goodbye...

She even told you to take care of yourself because you mean a lot to her...

She just cried and hoped that someday, she will forget all these things so she can be truly happy again.

It's been a while

I miss you blog, super!

So what's been happening to me these last few weeks? Since I'm sleepy and tired as of the moment, I'll just update in bullets.. hehe tamad style :)

*I'm learning how to cook! Oh well, not really.. haha. But I now perfected (almost) how to peel and cut onions and garlics. Plus green mangoes too. And yeah, my fingers are still complete! :)

*I'm eating vegetables more often now since I'm leaving in an accommodation. And would you believe that it's my first time to try Togue (bean sprouts), Monggo, and Tortang talong (without meat)? Haha Poor me, right? That's because I'm a meat lover ever since childhood. But I'm terribly missing hotdogs and maling. :(

*I'm now adjusted with my work. Somehow I can manage on my own now. But of course, sometimes I still ask for help.. hehe. By the way, my job here in Dubai is nurse/receptionist/secretary/insurance coordinator/cleaner/care taker/guard. Too much to handle, eh?

*I met new friends and it's making my stay in Dubai more fun! Special shout-out to Ate Minie whom I met last friday. Thank you again for the nice company, Ate. :) I promised that I won't call you Miss Minie anymore.. haha.

*I've realized that it's not okay to be kind and polite to everybody. Sometimes, you really have to fight for your rights. You don't have to smile and just agree to every single word a person, even your superior, tells you. If they're telling you to do things that you know are wrong, then don't do it. And you don't have to say sorry always especially if it's not your fault. We have to be tough in this cruel world.

*I'm really thankful to our technology today, especially to facebook, ym, skype, roaming services, and of course, blogs.. haha. I'm able to keep in touch with my friends in the Philippines and all over the world because of these.

*Finally, I've realized that it's difficult to be a daughter (who's living away from her parents), granddaughter (who's living away from her grand parents), niece (to her aunt who's having health problems but doesn't want to visit a doctor), employee (whose legal papers are still in process and who's living in a house with strangers with different personalities), friend (who MUST keep in touch with the ones she have in the Philippines and here in Dubai), and an individual (who does everything for herself). But nonetheless, I'm still thankful that I have a job and I'm earning on my own! Haha.

So there. I'm really busy with my life right now and I know I must thank God for all of these. :)

This is my bed in our accommodation. I know it's a bit messy.. haha

Atlantis

(Am I getting fatter now? :( Because almost all of my friends who went here really gained weight so I'm a bit conscious with every kilo and inch I'm gaining. I hope I'll stay the same or at least lose weight some more! haha)

'Till next entry my dear blog. I promise to update you soon.

PS: One of my friends from college is also here in Dubai. He just arrived a week ago (I think). And I'm really excited to see him on friday! It's nice that I have someone now whom I can talk to about anything and everything, especially the problems I'm encountering here.. hahaha. But I won't tell you this part of my life now.

Goodnight world! Especially to my friends, blogmates, and lurkers. :)

Tuloy na tuloy na!

Tuloy na ako ulit sa April 8 papuntang Dubey.. hehe. Wala na kong ibang inaalala at hinihiling sa ngayon kundi sana makapasa ako sa exam ko sa 15.

Sana, sana talaga Lord. Nag-aral naman ako sa abot nang makakaya ko. Kaya lang Lord hindi ko na talaga kaya. Sakit na ng ulo ko po. Pero promise magrereview ulit ako pagdating ko dun. Sana patuloy Niyo po akong bigyan ng lakas ng loob, tiwala sa sarili, at linaw ng pag-iisip. Pasensiya na po Lord kung magulo talaga ako magdesisyon.. hahaha. Pero promise kapag nasettled naman na ako nang maayos sa Dubai, aayusin ko na rin po buhay ko. Hindi na ako magrereklamo sa trabaho (masyado), mag-iipon na ko ng pera, hindi na ko magshashopping (masyado), at maghahappy-happy with friends (masyado). Thank you Lord. Labyu!!! Amen :)

Excited na ako. 2nd chance ko na ito to have a work na in line sa profession ko, 2nd chance to work abroad, at 2nd chance to go to Dubai. Kaya dapat talaga pagbutihin ko na. Haaayyyy pressure ito!!!

5 days to goooooooooo!!!!

How to avoid being clingy

Sometimes, when I like someone, I tend to be clingy with him. I always want to talk to him, see him, and share stories with him. Of course, I like the person that's why I'm interested in knowing him. But I guess, this habit of mine is really unhealthy. My friends even said that I'm PARANOID (Oh yeah, I've heard it for more than 10 times now!). But I can't help it! I always think of negative things whenever he would not call me throughout the day. :(

So to help myself from being a clingy-freak, I googled this topic and I would like to share these steps to those girls (or even guys) who want to change their attitude for a loving and healthier relationship.

HOW TO AVOID BEING CLINGY:

1. 
   
   Trust the other person totally. They are not like your ex, and will not do the same thing to you. Not every man or every woman is out to break your heart or steal your money. Relax and do not blow a good relationship because you feel selfish.
2. 
   
   Realize that the one you love is in love with who you are. That will not change unless you continue to be selfish and that will only serve to drive that person away. Be yourself, the person they fell in love with and not the person who clings and is selfish.
3. 
   
   Keep yourself busy. When you feel like being clingy usually, it is because you are lonely and keeping busy will eliminate that need. Find a hobby, read a book, visit a friend, or clean your house from top to bottom do anything you can do to avoid being selfish. (Or in my case, REVIEW!)
4. 
   
   Realize that the one you love has a life which you are a part of. You are not that person's whole life and you should not consume them, for that only brings heartbreak to both of you. Do not try to consume their every waking moment of their life; they have jobs and a life outside of you.
5. Allow the person to be themselves. You fell in love with that person because of whom they were, and if you cling to them for life support then you are changing them from whom you love. You should never want to change someone you love.
6. Realize that if you try to control the actions of the one you profess to love, you will lose that person. Let that person be him or herself. For if you try to control they will high tail it out of the relationship, as no one likes to be controlled.

In my case, well I guess I'm still having problems regarding trust issues. Maybe putting up high walls for my defense, is really not a good idea. Eventhough I wanted to give my whole trust to someone, I still have this fear that he might broke it and I will be in pain again. :(

But I'm trying. I'm trying to break the walls and to trust someone again.

I just hope he is true enough and will wait for me when the time comes that I'm ready to be with him. :)

*Oo nga pala. Si Juan ay si Juan at si Pedro ay si Pedro. Hindi sila magkaparehas at magkaibang tao sila.*

Hanep

Ang bilis talaga ng DHL. Natanggap ko na kahapon yung mga papers na kailangan ko. Nagsabi na rin ako dun sa nag-aayos ng visa ko sa Dubai na ok na at pwede na nilang simulang ayusin yung papers ko dun. Nagreply naman siya agad. Sabi niya, pwede na raw ako magpabooked ng end of March. Ang bilis din talaga ng panahon ano?

Masaya ba ako?

Sa totoo lang, eto yung hindi ko maintindihan sa sarili ko. Kapag nasa Pinas ako, gusto kung umalis at makapagtrabaho na ulit sa ibang bansa. Kapag nasa ibang bansa na ako, gusto ko na ulit umuwi at makasama ang mga mahal ko sa buhay. Kahapon nung nareceive ko yung papers ko, medyo nalungkot ako. Inaasahan ko kasi next week ko pa marereceive yun. Sabi kasi ng DHL sa akin last week, 7 working days daw excluding weekends. So ang bilang ko talaga, sa Tuesday next week ko pa marereceive. E pero ganun e. Nareceive ko na kahapon. Dapat nga di ba nagpapasalamat ako at naayos nang maaga! Haha. Ang gulo ko lang talaga. Sabi ko nga e. Bipolar ako.

Kaya rin siguro hindi ako masyadong masaya na natapos ko nang ayusin yung papers ko ay dahil ang dami ko pang pending na lakad. Sa totoo lang, modesty aside, ang hirap maging Ms. Congeniality. Masaya ako na ang dami kong kaibigan, ang dami kong grupong sinalihan, at ang daming nagmamahal sa akin. Super natouched ako na ang daming nagtext, natuwa, at gustong makipagkita muna sa akin bago ako bumalik ng Dubai. Pero sad to say, kaunti pa lang ang nakasama kong friends. Sana naman maintindihan ako ng iba kong kaibigan na nahihirapan din naman akong i-schedule ang sarili ko sa lahat ng lakad ko. Gusto ko silang lahat makita at maibigay yung mga pasalubong ko. Ang kaso lang, nagrereview din naman ako, at sa totoo lang, tinitipid ko rin yung allowance na binigay sa akin nila mama dahil nga mamamasahe pa ako pabalik sa Dubai. Sana naman maintindihan nila na may mga bagay na ganito na kahit gusto mo naman talagang sumama, may priorities ka ring iba na mas dapat mauna.

Pero promise. Ta-try ko namang pangatawanan ang pagiging kaibigan ko sa inyo. I'll try my best to meet you guys before I leave. :)

At nakakatawa ang romantic horoscope ko kanina sa FB. Pakibasa lalo na yung last line...

(Pakiclick na lang po to enlarge image. Kasi kapag nilakihan ko, hindi kakasya sa border)

Haha.. parang saktong-sakto na ewan ko. Nakakalungkot na ewan ko rin tuloy nararamdaman ko naman dito :(

Anyway, bahala na. Lubusin ang mga natitirang araw.

PS: Naalis si Adam Lambert sa American Idol!!!!! Yung bet ko na mananalo from my previous entry. Ano ba yan. Mukhang lagi na lang mali instinct ko ngayon a. What's happening???!

Bipolar

The heat yesterday was just so insane! Eventhough my electric fan was on all throughout the day, it didn't do any help. I only turn my aircon on for 3 hours during night to save electricity since I'll be needing more money for my trip to Dubai soon.

I don't know if it was just because of the heat, or maybe hormonal imbalance (again), or maybe I was just not in  the good mood yesterday.

Maybe I'll be receiving my authenticated HS credentials next week, already sealed by UAE embassy. I just hope it will be finished as soon as possible.

I want to leave now. I want to go back to Dubai and leave all my problems here behind.

I know this is where I'm good at. Running away and never facing my own dilemmas in life.

Lord please give us some rain. Not like Ondoy but something to relieve us from this intense heat.

PS: I saw this in my friend's FB and somehow, I got affected! Haha. Shet! But I already stopped my "stalking" habit since friendster days. :)

Did this affect you too? Haha!

 

You give me something

I was watching American Idol last night and one of the contestants sang this song.

You give me something by James Morrison

You give me something that makes me scared, alright

This could be nothing, but I'm willing to give it a try :)

I've found out something yesterday which made me a bit shocked. But as the hours passed last night, I realized that we all have our fair-share of first love, one true love, first heartache, and the likes. Only a few among us are very lucky to have their first love as their partners for a long time. Even soulmates don't end up with each other. And we all are not sure of what tomorrow might bring to us. We will never know who's really the one for us.

But I still believe in destiny. That no matter how long and how many obstacles you've faced in your lifetime, if two people are meant for each other, then God will make a way to keep them together.

Growing apart

Another thing that I also fear in having relationships is that it is not forever. Even married couples for a long time grow apart.

For example, my parents who are both living in Bahrain. In the same house under one roof as husband and wife. But not in the same bed and they are not talking to each other for quite some time now. When I was still in Dubai, one has to call me to relay one's message to the other. I hate it. Not only because I don't have enough balance to call them, but they both know that I'm also busy finding a job at that time. One time I even told my Dad that it's their problem and I have mine too so they should just fix it with themselves. I actually felt sorry after I said that. Maybe I was just feeling a bit pressured at that time.

Until now that I'm back here in the Philippines, they are still not talking to each other. But they still do their responsibilities as husband and wife. Like my Dad would pick up my Mom from work, and my Mom would still do the laundry for the both of them. But that's it. Every Friday (considered as a day off in Middle East) I talk to my Mom via webcam, but without my Dad. He's either in his friend's house or in church. I miss my Dad actually. I haven't seen him via webcam for a long time now.

Even when I was still there in Bahrain, they were already having some problems. My Dad said if it wasn't for me, maybe he would have left my Mom a long time ago. He's been a very good father to me. He makes impossible things happen for the sake of our family. I know, for the past 10 or 12 years of my life, he's been trying to patch things up between the two of them. Before I left Bahrain, he promised me that he will do everything to make their relationship work. But I don't know what will happen now that it's been months since the last time they talked to each other. Everytime I talk to one of them, one will say something bad about the other. It's very difficult to pretend that I'm fine with what's been happening to our family. I'm trying my best to smile and to keep our conversations light, but somehow, deep inside, I am hurting.

I have so many issues in life that I've been trying to fix right now. It's sad that the people who are very dear to me are adding up to my problems.

And I find it weird that for almost 24 years of their marriage, they are still having these misunderstandings. I just hope everything will be fine as soon as possible.

Plus the pressure of my upcoming exam on April (I know, a month early for this) makes me more stressed!

Reasons to be happy

Wala akong ibang nararamdaman ngayon kundi pure happiness (aside sa sumasakit na puson dahil first day ko.. hahaha binlog pa e noh).

1. Naaayos ko na unti-unti ang papers ko. Tapos na siya sa Dep ed. Kukunin ko na siya by next week sa DFA at naka-red ribbon na. Dadalhin ko na yun after sa DHL para patatakan nila sa UAE embassy. Hindi naman pala ganun katagal din e. So one problem, almost solved!

2. Yung magiging kasamahan ko sa work sa Dubai, lagi akong tinatanong kung ano ng balita sa akin para raw mapaayos na niya yung visa ko. Sobrang thankful ako na napunta ako sa kanila kasi talagang tinutulungan naman nila ako. Gratitude ko na sa kanila na ipasa ko yung exam ko sa April.

3. Yung isa sa mga naging kaclose kong doktor sa ospital na pinagtrabahuan ko sa Bahrain dati ay ginreet ako sa fb ko. Nangangamusta. Talagang super touched ako nung binati niya ko. Actually kapag naaalala ko nga sila sa ngayon, yung mga kasamahan ko dun sa ospital na yun, naiiyak ako. Ako lang ang bukod tanging pinay nurse dun at lahat sila halos Indians. Pero mababait sila sa akin talaga. Magkakaiba man sa language, culture, religion, at POV sa buhay, masasabi kong maswerte ako dahil napasama ako sa kanila. Hindi naman lahat ng kalahi nila ay masama ang ugali. Parang Pinoy din. Hindi lahat dapat pagkatiwalaan. Pare-parehas lang tayong lahat na gawa ni God. Minsan, nagi-guilty ako dahil sa mga pinagsasabi ko sa dati kong blog about sa kanila. Siguro dala lang yun ng frustration ko sa work ko dun. Pero ganunpaman, I'm very grateful to them for giving me a wonderful working experience, and of course, for the friendship and trust that they've given me until now. I'm glad I have Indian friends! :)

4. Nagkasama-sama na naman kami ng mga kabarkada ko nung HS. Nagpaintball kami at sleep over nung Monday! Hehe. Ang saya-saya lang! I love you so much my BFFs!!! :)

Hahaha.. kinikilig yata ako habang nilalagyan ni Kuya ng gear!

Green team vs. Black team (Siyempre nanalo kami! Hahaha. Over-all champion yata ako! :D)

David Garcia Jrs. ang dating namin dito a!

4. Medyo ibinababa ko na ang walls ko. :) E kasi, pinangaralan ako ng isang tao. Yung walls ko raw lampas-lampasan na sa ulo ko (di ba nga sabi ko rin sa last entry ko nahihirapan din naman talaga ako). Fine, nakamoved on daw ako sa isang taong minahal at pinahalagahan ko noon na nauwi sa wala, pero dun sa situation na sinasabi kong ayaw ko nang balikan, yung pagiging takot kong maging pathetic, hindi raw. Kaya raw ako takot magtry kasi iniisip ko na masasaktan ako kaya umiiwas na ako agad. Which is true naman talaga. Kumbaga raw, hindi ko pa sinasagot ung lalake, iniisip ko na yung stage na masasaktan na ako! Hahaha parang praning lang!

Oo, si "O" yung nagsabi ng mga yan. Matanda na kasi kaya maraming nalalaman sa buhay! hahahaha. Ang natutuwa naman ako sa kanya, hindi niya ako pinepressure. Alam niya naman kasi na marami pa akong inaayos as of now, lalo na yung exam ko sa April. Sinusuportahan naman niya ako. At saka for the first time, parang sa kanya ko nafeel na hindi ko kailangang magworry na baka bukas wala na siya. Well, sana nga ganun. Basta, masarap lang ulit kiligin! hahahaha. arte lang e noh.

Hay Lord. Salamat ng sobra. Parang sobrang okay nga na umuwi muna ako. Well, marami pa akong mga pending na lakad. Marami pa kong pasalubong na hindi pa nabibigay.. hehe. Sana naman maibigay ko rin yun bago ako mag-fly away ulit.

Ang tanging ikinakakaba ko as of now, e yung nalalapit kong oral exam!!!!!!!! Nyay!!!! Nagrereview-review na rin naman ako. Kaso siyempre, praning ako, maski feeling ko hindi naman tatanungin sa akin e pinagkakaabalahan ko ng panahon. Nao-overwhelmed tuloy ako. Kaya sabi nung mga nakapasa ko nang co-workers ko dun sa Dubai, huwag ko raw pahirapan sarili ko sa pagrereview. Major diseases lang daw nga. Huwag i-memorize, intindihin lang. OKAY! Sige ganun na nga lang!

Pero nonetheless, super happy ako. :)))))))))

PS: Pinangalanan ko itong blog kong ito ng Everything but love life kasi sabi ko, malas ako sa parteng yun kaya ayoko na lang iblog. Pero mukhang these last few entries ko e tungkol dun. Hmmmm... Baka mapalitan ko na rin yung title ng blog kong ito a! Hahahaha. Joke. It's too early to say that. I'm just glad I have someone to cheer me up. :) (Shet, wala nang katapusang smiley ang entry na to a! hahaha)

Oh hello, Manila!

I am back. Nung Vday pa. Humabol! hehe

Ika-3rd day ko na ngayon. Ano nang nagawa ko? Puros kaartehan pa lang naman! Hahaha. Pampering myself and bonding with my BFF. :) Pero inaayos ko na rin naman yung mga papeles na kailangan ko. Pumunta nga ko sa school ko kanina na pinag-aralan ko nung elem at highschool. Nagrequest ng TOR at diploma. 1 week ko pa hihintayin. So, that leaves me, 3 weeks? Ipupunta ko pa yun sa Dep ed na covered yung school ko. Bago ipunta sa DFA. At ipunta sa DHL para patatakan nila ng UAE embassy seal. Hindi ko alam kung kaya yan ng 1 month. Sana naman makaya. Kung hindi naman, siguro baka pwedeng ipa-DHL na lang din sa akin if ever makabalik na ako ng Dubai.

Magrereview rin ako. Sana this week, makagawa na ako ng reviewer para pwede ko na lang basa-basahin. Tapos siyempre, I have to allot time to spend time with my friends again. Feeling ko hindi talaga enough yung time para magawa ko lahat ng ito. Pero I have faith naman kay God at sa sarili ko. Kaya ko ito!

Hay, sa dami nito, san pa kita ilalagay sa schedule ko? Sa totoo lang, ginugulo mo lang buhay ko. Pero masaya naman ako na ikaw ang nanggugulo.. :)

Super gulo

Hindi ko na naiintindihan. Ang gulo na talaga ng nangyayari sa buhay ko ngayon (kaya ulit Tagalog ito kasi sumasakit na ng todo ulo ko.. huhuhu).

Sabi ko sa previous entry ko di ba okay na papers ko for exam. Ang problema ko na lang ay yung date ng exam di ba. Kaya napagdesisyunan ko na uuwi na muna (sana) ako ng Pinas for 35 days kasi nga malapit na mag-expire visa ko. Tapos sa Pinas na lang ako magrereview at ipagpapatuloy ko yung pagpapatatak ng UAE embassy sa documents ko. Excited na nga ako e. Namili na ako kahapon ng ilang pasalubong. Kaso kanina nung nasa ospital ako, nakausap ko yung doktor. Sabi niya, vivisahan na lang daw niya ako ng iba (secretary/receptionist) para hindi na ako umuwi. I-take ko na raw yung urgent exam which is sa Feb 17 nga. Sa totoo lang, dapat natutuwa ako di ba? Kasi less gastos yun sa pamasahe pauwi ng Pinas at pabalik ulit dito.

Ang kaso, ang dami ko pa ring worries. Like yung TOR at diploma ko, tapos na yun sa DFA. Naka-red ribbon na sila, ang kaso wala pang UAE embassy seal. Pina-stop ko na dun sa stage na yun sa tita ko na tumutulong sa akin umayos nun na nasa Pinas. Sabi ko kasi, ako na lang mag-aayos pag-uwi ko. E kaso yun nga. Bigla namang nagbago na naman ang ihip ng hangin at eto, ipapa-rush ko na naman sa kanya yun. Hey buhey, you're so gulo.

Isa pa, ewan ko kung kaya kong mag-exam sa 17. Oral examinations dito e. Alam ko mas magaling ako sa written. Kabisote kasi ako e. Tapos pinepressure pa ako ng mga magiging kasamahan kong nurses dun sa trabaho. Sabi nila kaya ko raw yun kasi nga sa eskwelahan na pinag-graduate-an ko ng college. Sila nga raw galing sa ganitong nursing college lang, nakapasa, e di lalo na raw ako. Sa totoo lang, hindi ako natutuwa kapag sinasabi nila yun. Lalo akong nape-pressure na dapat mapasa ko yun. Hindi naman sa eskwelahan nakukuha yun e. Ewan ko rin kung bakit ako nakapasa sa entrance exam dun, sa cut-off grade, at higit sa lahat sa sandamakmak na exams na dinaanan ko nung college hanggang sa naka-graduate ako. In fairness, mas mataas din board rating ko sa kanila (hahaha.. yumayabang na ako sa part na to. Pero totoo yan nung nagkukwentuhan kami kanina).

Pero bakit ganun? Parang sobrang nawala yung tiwala ko sa sarili ko.

Pero gaya nga ng sinabi ko sa last entry ko, ibinigay na ni God sa akin itong chance na ito at hindi ko na dapat balewalain. Eto na nga e. Hindi na ako mag-e-exit sa Pinas. Ang kailangan ko na lang gawin ay manalangin na mapaayos agad papers ko, at siyempre magreview.

Kaya ko ito. RN naman ako a. At graduate ako ng school ko! Yehes. I can do this baby!

Kaya siguro, yung pag-uwi ng Pilipinas kahit excited at may mga pasalubong na ako, ipagpapaliban ko na muna. Babalik at babalik pa rin naman ako dun e. Hindi naman mawawala yun. Isa pa, ang mahalaga ngayon ay maayos ko muna yung buhay ko rito at makapagtrabaho nang makaipon. Dami ko na utang kina parents!  :(

So eto. Andito pa rin ako. Go go go pa rin at fight fight fight! :) Hay Lord, please help me.

So magiging busy muna siguro ako these coming weeks. Sa pag-aayos ng papers, pagduduty, at pagrereview. Kaya ko ito!

*********************************************************************************

Ako: E ikaw kamusta ka naman?

O: Ok naman... masaya na.

Ako: E bat ka happy na?

O: Kasi uuwi ka na :)

Last na usapan namin. Kaya excited na rin yata ako umuwi e. Ang kaso, hindi nga matutuloy siguro. Ganun e. Kailangan ko munang ayusin ang buhay ko. :(

**********************************************************************************

Prolonging the agony

Just like what I've written in my previous entry, today, the 26th of the month, is the verdict on whether I got an approval for the licensure examination for nurses here in Dubai. Guess what?

I took a cab going to Dubai heath care city and I arrived there at 10:30 am. I showed them my claim stub and they gave me back my photocopied credentials with a note in front:

REJECTED: Please give us a copy of your professional certificate and licensure from Bahrain.

Oh, yes. I was prepared. I brought all my original documents and I just got a very-well written professional certificate from the hospital I've worked before in Bahrain. I can manage this one. I thought.

I handed over my professional certificate to the Emirati lady who was assessing my documents. But she was still asking for my license in Bahrain which I forgot to bring because I thought it wasn't needed anymore. Plus, I only have the photocopied version of my license. I wasn't able to get the original because I didn't finish the 2-year contract.

Damn. Damn. Damn. I have to go back to our flat to get that piece of paper! I took a cab again. When I was already in our building, I told the driver to wait for me while I go upstairs to get my document. After less than 10 minutes or so, I came back and told him that he had to drop me again in that same building in Dubai health care city. So imagine how much I spent all in all in taking taxi cabs just to get that paper!

But it was all worth it. They approved my papers. Hallelujah!

The Emirati lady was about to give me the schedule of my exam. She was asking whether I will take the regular one which will only cost me 160 dirhams, or the urgent/special one which will cost a whooping 1100 dirhams. I asked her if I would take the regular one, when will be the earliest possible date that I can have the exam. She checked her computer and said, "March 31." Oh my god. That's just too late. The expiration date of my visa is on Valentine's day.

Then I asked when will be the earliest possible date if I take the urgent one. She answered, "February 17." Oh my, oh my. It's still late! 3 days late! Damn! I told her that I'll come back again because I have to talk to my employer about this.

Evening, I went to the hospital and told the doctor about it. He told me to come back tomorrow in Dubai health care city and asked them to fix my schedule of exam for an earlier date than the expiration of my visa. Anyway, that 1100 dirhams will be added on my first salary if ever I became settled here. And he told me to call him immediately if ever I wasn't able to get an earlier date for my exam. He is, by the way, the head of the Ministry of Health in Abu dhabi and Sharjah. But I'm in Dubai. So there. You get my point.

I wanted to cry. I wanted to complain. I wanted to ask, why do I have to prolong this agony? Were my sufferings and misadventures here not enough?

But all I can say to Him at this moment, is thank you. At least I'm still hanging. I haven't won the fight yet, but I'm not yet a loser either. I still have a chance.

God already gave me this chance. I should not just put this into waste.


All I have to do for now is hope, pray, and do whatever I can to make all these possible. Aja!


Update you soon. :)

PS: Multiply the amount above by 12 if you want to convert them into Philippine peso. That's only my estimation, but still expensive, right? All for the love of staying in Dubai!

And yeah, I have to get another quote box/fun box/something. My Bob Ong quotes from Komski expired.

Ang paghahanap ng trabaho sa Dubai

Mahirap. Hindi biro. Lalo na't recession sa ngayon.

Sa loob ng isang buwan at mahigit na paghahanap ng trabaho sa parteng ito ng Gitnang Silangan, masasabi kong swerte pa rin ako kumpara sa karamihan. Oo, alam ko, sinabi ko kanina, mahirap. E sa mahirap naman kasi talaga noh!

Lakad dito, lakad doon na yung varicose veins ko siguro abot na hanggang singit ko ngayon. Yung walking shoes at saka sandals ko nga, nawasak na dahil sa layo ng nilalakad ko everyday, every night. Magastos dahil mahal ang bayad sa taxi, halos sa isang araw e makaka-isang libong piso na ako sa pamasahe pa lang. May mga pagkakataon din na dadayuhin ko pa ang ibang emirates gaya ng Sharjah para lang magbakasaling swertihin. Kung may oras, pera, at mas malakas ang loob ko, baka pinatos ko pa yung mga for interviews ko sa Abu Dhabi, Ajman, at Al Ain. O di parang nalibot ko na buong UAE!

At kung maswerte ka talagang gaya ko, makakakilala ka ng iba't-ibang klase ng bosses/employers. Oo maraming manyak dito, bastos, walang respeto, at mga nagmamarunong. Pero may karapatan ba akong magreklamo at magtaray? Wala, dahil aplikante lang ako! Kaya all the way ng interview kahit gusto ko nang umiyak at mag-walk out, todo-smile pa rin ang drama ko. Ganun ang attitude dapat. Think positive, huwag kang aayaw!

Marami ka ring makikilalang mga kaibigan either by phone, kaparehas mong aplikante, napagtanungan mo ng direksyon, nakatabi mo sa bus, o di kaya nagkamali lang ng dial ng phone at na-i-dial ang number mo. Pero siyempre, dapat mag-iingat pa rin. Hindi naman lahat ng nakikilala araw-araw, maski kapareha man ng lahi e karapat-dapat nang pagkatiwalaan.

Damang-dama rin dito ang recession. Ang mga kasabayan ko sa mga interviews ay yung mga natanggal sa mga kumpanya dito dahil nga nalugi yung kumpanyang pinagtatrabahuan nila noon. Ngayon lang ako nakaranas na naka-schedule ako for interview, at maraming kasabay. Usually kasi noon, ako lang talaga ang iniinterview. Tapos natatanggap na ako agad. E ngayon, hindi. Sa dami ba naman ng kakumpetensiya ko, ang bata pa ng edad ko at kaunti ang working experience, e saan na ako ipapadpad nito?

Kaya pilit ko pa ring binalikan at pinagsusumikapan makakuha ng trabaho na in line sa aking kursong medikal. Nagkaroon din naman ako ng offers noh, hindi naman ako masyadong kawawa sa iniisip niyo (hahaha). Ang kaso, choosy ako e. Gusto ko ospital na may magandang sahod. E yun pala, mahirap makahanap ng ganung trabaho sa ngayon dahil nga wala pa akong lisensiya dito! So dapat pala, kinuha ko na yung ibang offer noon e di sana tapos na ang problema ko sa ngayon.

Ganunpaman, mabait talaga si Lord. Hindi Niya pa rin ako binibitiwan kahit pasaway ako sa Kanya. Meron na ulit offer na ospital sa akin. Kanina-kanina lang. O e anong dinadaldal-daldal ko rito? E tapos na pala ang problema ko e!

HINDI. Dito pumapasok ang mas marami kong problema.

Mag-a-apply ako bukas (or this week) ng for examination sa DOH dito. Kailangan ko yung TOR, diploma, PRC certifications, certifications from previous employer ko na authenticated by UAE embassy sa Pinas. Ang tanong... asan ang mga ito?

Nasa Pilipinas at pinaprocess pa. Pinakamalinaw na matatanggap ko yun ay by feb pa raw. :(

Sabi ko nga kanina, siguro mas masakit yun tanggapin na uuwi ako (if ever) ng Pinas dahil kulang yung papeles ko at ako ang may kasalanan dahil hindi ko inayos dati pa. Kesa yung dahilan na uuwi ako ng Pinas dahil recession dito at walang employer na kumuha sa akin.

E hindi e. Meron.

Pero ganunpaman, hindi pa rin ako nawawalan ng pag-asa. Alam ko may mas magandang plano si God. Isa pa, malay mo pwede pala ipa-rush yung mga dokumento ko. Basta Lord, hindi Kita pipilitin. Pero sana, please, please, please, please, pleeeeeeeeaaaaaaaassssseeeee naman po. Sana para sa akin na ito. Promise Lord, hindi ko na itatakwil ang Nursing. I-e-embrace ko na ito nang bongga!!!

At Lord, salamat sa lahat ng pagsubok na ito. Alam ko, para ito sa ikabubuti ko.

Alabyu!!!!! :)

At siyempre, salamat sa mga taong patuloy na tumutulong at sumusuporta sa akin ngayon. Special shout-out kina Inday Mechelle, Plats, Rona, Diday. Pati sa tita ko na nag-aayos ng papeles ko sa Pinas! (Bilisan mo!! hahaha). Sa mga magulang ko na patuloy na nagbibigay ng allowance ko na halos linggo-linggo na lang ay hinuhuthutan ko (makakabawi rin ako sa inyo). Sa tita ko na tumutulong sa akin dito at nagbigay ng libreng pabahay. Sa roommate niya rito na nagbigay ng libreng internet. Kay Charee na ever-supportive friend/blogmate ko na isang Dubayuki na pilit pinu-pull-out ang lahat ng resources niya para matulungan ako. Kay Tuts at sa friend niya na nagpadala ng CV ko sa lahat ng emirates! hahaha. Sa lahat ng mga kablogs ko na patuloy pa ring nagbabasa ng blog ko ngayon, english man o tagalog.. haha (Cleotie, Aubrey, Ems, Cha, atbp..). At pati na rin kay O. :)

Salamat ng marami. aysoooooooolabyu all!!! mwuah!

Teacup story

Copied (with permission of course) from Story teller.

There was a couple who took a trip to England to shop in a beautiful antique store to celebrate their 25th wedding anniversary. They both liked antiques and pottery, and especially teacups. Spotting an exceptional cup, they asked "May we see that? We've never seen a cup quite so beautiful."

As the lady handed it to them, suddenly the teacup spoke, "You don't understand. I have not always been a teacup. There was a time when I was just a lump of red clay. My master took me and rolled me pounded and patted me over and over and I yelled out, 'Don't do that. I don't like it! Let me alone.' But he only smiled, and gently said; 'Not yet!'" "Then. WHAM! I was placed on a spinning wheel and suddenly I was spun around and around and around. 'Stop it! I'm getting so dizzy! I'm going to be sick,' I screamed. But the master only nodded and said, quietly; 'Not yet.'

"He spun me and poked and prodded and bent me out of shape to suit himself and then… Then he put me in the oven. I never felt such heat. I yelled and knocked and pounded at the door. Help! Get me out of here! I could see him through the opening and I could read his lips as he shook his head from side to side, 'Not yet'."

"When I thought I couldn't bear it another minute, the door opened. He carefully took me out and put me on the shelf, and I began to cool. Oh, that felt so good! Ah, this is much better, I thought. But, after I cooled he picked me up and he brushed and painted me all over. The fumes were horrible. I thought I would gag. 'Oh, please; Stop it, Stop it!' I cried. He only shook his head and said. 'Not yet!'."

"Then suddenly he put me back in to the oven. Only it was not like the first one. This was twice as hot and I just knew I would suffocate. I begged. I pleaded. I screamed. I cried. I was convinced I would never make it. I was ready to give up. Just then the door opened and he took me out and again placed me on the shelf, where I cooled and waited ------- and waited, wondering "What's he going to do to me next? An hour later he handed me a mirror and said 'Look at yourself.'" "And I did. I said, 'That's not me; that couldn't be me. It's beautiful. I'm beautiful!'

Quietly he spoke: 'I want you to remember, then,' he said, 'I know it hurt to be rolled and pounded and patted, but had I just left you alone, you'd have dried up. I know it made you dizzy to spin around on the wheel, but if I had stopped, you would have crumbled. I know it hurt and it was hot and disagreeable in the oven, but if I hadn't put you there, you would have cracked. I know the fumes were bad when I brushed and painted you all over, but if I hadn't done that, you never would have hardened. You would not have had any color in your life. If I hadn't put you back in that second oven, you wouldn't have survived for long because the hardness would not have held. Now you are a finished product. Now you are what I had in mind when I first began with you."

The moral of this story is this:

God knows what He's doing for each of us. He is the potter, and we are His clay. He will mold us and make us, and expose us to just enough pressures of just the right kinds that we may be made into a flawless piece of work to fulfill His good, pleasing and perfect will.

So when life seems hard, and you are being pounded and patted and pushed almost beyond endurance; when your world seems to be spinning out of control; when you feel like you are in a fiery furnace of trials; when life seems to "stink", try this....

Brew a cup of your favorite tea in your prettiest teacup, sit down and think on this story and then, have a little talk with the Potter.

~ Author Unknown ~

Antipatikow

BOSS: You're only 23? So small!

APPLICANT: (thinking: "Duh. Is the word 'young' not included in your dictionary? I'm 5'4 kaya!")

BOSS: You know, we're looking for older than 25. I don't trust young people because they change minds easily. One day they're okay, the next day they're not.

APPLICANT: But it can varies from one person to another, right? *smiles widely*

BOSS: Come here to me...

APPLICANT: (thinking: "Not another maniac on the loose?!") *stood up and went to the boss' table*

BOSS: Type something brief about yourself (on the laptop).

APPLICANT: *typing* (thinking: "Forte ko na ito! Bilis ko kaya magtype. Rank 3 kaya ako sa Typing Maniac sa facebook.")

BOSS: Why are you using only one finger?

APPLICANT: No sir, I'm using two! (forgot the word hands! hahahaha) And sir, I can type fast. See?

After the APPLICANT finished typing a brief description about herself...

BOSS: Why only these? (3 sentences)

APPLICANT: You said to type only a brief description sir. That's brief!

BOSS: Tell me more about yourself.

APPLICANT: Both of my parents are working in Bahrain. My father is an engineer and my mother is an accountant. I'm an only child.

BOSS: Are you sure? Maybe you don't know your father has 7 or 8 other children...

APPLICANT: *smiles* (thinking: "Are you on drugs sir?!!")

BOSS: Are you married?

APPLICANT: No. I'm single.

BOSS: Do you have any children?

APPLICANT: No.

BOSS: Really? Maybe today you're saying that but the next day, you'll say you have 7 or 8 children...

APPLICANT: No sir. I really don't have. (thinking: "Seriously sir, I think you're on drugs!")

BOSS: Do you have a boyfriend?

APPLICANT: No.

BOSS: No? Here you don't have?

APPLICANT: No, sir. I don't have.

BOSS: In the Philippines you don't have?

APPLICANT: I don't have also. (thinking: "Wala nga e ha! Pagdukdukan ba sa aking single nga ako?!")

BOSS: You know the supermarket there? *points at the window* There, you can get a boyfriend. Some are French, Indians, Locals, any nationalities. You can have your pick.

APPLICANT: *still smiles* (thinking: "Sir, if you don't want to accept me or I'm not qualified with the post, then just tell me. I'll gladly accept it. Don't torture me with your nasty attitude.")

BOSS: Ok, I'll give you my number and call me tomorrow if you'd like to come back for an exam. Here's my number....

APPLICANT: Ok sir. I'll just call you tomorrow morning. (thinking: "In your dreams! Kiss my ass!!!")

Life is a maze and love is a riddle

I'm at home having a very painful back. Don't know if it's still because of my scoliosis or because of 8 hours sitting in front of the computer, sending resumes in all the hospitals/clinics/polyclinics here in Dubai. I also have black-stained fingers because of frequent scanning of classified ads in newspapers.

Am I losing hope? Well... honestly, a bit. I'm really an optimistic person. But sometimes, I just can't help it. :(

I'm a nurse who doesn't know which path should I really be taking. I love arts and yes, most of the time I wish that I should have taken Fine Arts instead of Nursing. But don't get me wrong. I don't despise Nursing. It's just that, maybe, I'm not given the chance to be included in a well-known tertiary hospital where I can learn and improve my nursing skills.

I'm a mediocre nursing student. I have average grades in Nursing subjects back in College. My best subjects were Statistics, Asian Civilization, Social Studies, and PE, specifically football! Haha. Subjects which are not really needed in Nursing!

Do I love having duties in the hospital? Yes and No.

I'm really not used to emergency situations. I'm not expert at putting IV cannulas. Usually, I palpitate and get nervous whenever I was having patients who were suffering terribly in pain. I don't have sufficient knowledge and experience in treating all diseases, which makes me a little bit unconfident to be a nurse.

But whenever I'm doing nursing interventions and I get it right the first time, it really makes my heart leap. :) I enjoy blood, wounds, pus, and everything icky and yucky coming out from the patients (except for urine and poop, of course. Who would have want that?!). And believe it or not, I'm compassionate about my patients. The feeling is priceless whenever I get genuine gratitude from my patients. That really makes me feel that I'm making a difference. I'm someone in this world. I'm worthy.

Does that mean I am qualified as a nurse? I don't know. But I remember, before I made my decision to take a degree in Nursing, I asked God for a sign. That if I pass the exam and interview in the university where I graduated, then I'm definitely meant to be a nurse. Not only that, He made me passed my 4 years in Nursing without failing marks, and even made me passed the Nursing Licensure exam.

And to add a bonus on that one, He made me practiced my profession in a foreign country for a year eventhough I didn't have any working experience in my home land!


So am I really meant to be a nurse? What if I'm pursuing a wrong path? What if I should be doing something else where I can really excel and be happy about?


Oh God, this is really, really, really hard. I just pray that someday (in the near future I hope), I would know what's meant for me and what's my real purpose in life.

Throughout the whole day, the lyrics of the song entitled The Show by Lenka, were playing through my mind. It's as if the letters of the song were teasing me...

"I'm just a little bit caught in the moment, life is a maze and love is a riddle. I don't know where to go, can't do it alone, I've tried. I've got to let it go... and just enjoy the show."

Maybe that's what God is telling me as of this moment. Stop worrying of so many things that I should not be worrying about in the first place and just enjoy my journey. Eventhough depression is really kicking in this time (maybe due to hormonal imbalance again), I know all these obstacles that I'm facing will be all worth it in the end. :)

In fact, these obstacles are not really obstacles compared to the problems other people are having! I should be thankful that I still have a wonderful life with my loved-ones and friends despite of my mind-boggling queries about life.. hehe

Anyway, on the lighter side, my college friends had a mini-reunion today in Trinoma (where else? haha) and I really wish I was there. Funny because eventhough I wasn't there anymore, the meeting place was still in Red Ribbon inside Trinoma. That place became very memorable for me. It became the meeting place whenever my friends (from gradeschool, highschool, and college) and I would plan for a get-together. It was also the place where I met my blogmates...

and so as some other people I just met this year, I mean last year! haha *wink*

a little help

Dear God,

Please give me a stable mind to make the right decisions.

Amen.

PS: Advanced happy birthday Papa J. :)

Prayer in blogs really works for me. So I'm putting this one here. :)

Decision-making is the toughest task for me. Wasn't able to stand up on my own since I was born. I became so dependent with people around me that I always ask for their help. But now I really have to be strong and face my fears alone. I can do this! I have faith in myself and in the Lord. With Him, nothing is impossible.

And I'm really getting old and matured. Love it! :)

Random thoughts

I saw this video while browsing what's new in youtube. This is the goodbye song from PBB double up everytime someone gets evicted from the house.

It's Gonna Make Sense - Michael Learns To Rock

It has nice lyrics, don't you think? Very inspiring. :)

I really believe in the saying that everything happens for a reason. There's a purpose why we met a certain person once in our life. There's an answer why we ended up like this, may it be different from what we dreamt of when we were young. Along our way, we will find difficulties to test how strong we really are. We have a lot of questions and we're not sure about the answers.

But someday, in His right time, all these pieces will fall into their places.

Someday, it's gonna make sense. :)

Tips on how to commute

It's been months since I've been here in my home land, and hey, I've had some improvements (I think). I can now chop onions and garlic. I'm doing my own grocery and I'm the one paying the bills. But what I'm really proud of myself is that I'm actually learning how to travel on my own! I know now how to commute!

And being a self-proclaimed maarte and only child who's just used to being a passenger in her Daddy's car, I made some tips on how to make yourself comfortable when traveling or taking PUVs.

Tips on how to commute

from a Sosyalera-wanna-be :)

1. Wear comfortable footwear.

There are a lot of footwear nowadays and the prices vary from the cheapest, which you can buy from sidewalk vendors or public markets, or the expensive ones with the same price as genuine leather shoes! What's the difference? Of course, the comfort! I bought a jelly-like slippers in Divisoria last summer. It actually looks like those of Grendha but it only cost me 49 Php. It was nice and comfortable, but during rainy days, expect that your feet will also be wet even though you still have it on. It's like a sponge. The more you walk in a wet pavement, the more it absorbs the water, and later on you'll find the insole of your slippers to be soaking wet! That's why I only wear those slippers whenever I'm sure there'll be no rain throughout the day.

I bought another pair of slippers at a popular clothing store. It's not expensive but it's not that cheap considering it's only rubber slippers. But I bought it anyway so I can use it during these rainy days. It's also a wedge slippers so I'm very sure my feet won't get wet. I was right. My feet don't get wet anymore, but it's very much painful to wear. I actually have callouses right now and it hurts like hell!

So now, I'm planning to buy something from Grendha (the real one) or Ipanema. Yes, it is expensive, but maybe, it will be worth it.

2. Know how much your exact fare is.

Most of the time, I will just give a 20- or a 50-peso bill because I don't know how much my exact fare is. Sometimes, the driver will give me an extra change, or sometimes he will ask me to give another peso or two. So be sure to ask and keep in mind how much your exact fare is. Most drivers are dishonest and will do anything just to earn a little more than their income (C'mon, 1 peso?).

3. Give the exact amount.

I gave a 500-peso bill to the bus conductor one time. I know, it's my fault that I don't have a smaller bill. He told me to wait for my change. I'm about to get off the bus already but I haven't received my change yet. So I asked the conductor about it. He then answered me arrogantly, "Magkano nga ulet pera mo?" Yeah, rrrrright!

4. Don't be afraid to ask.

There are still good samaritans out there that you can ask for directions in case you get lost (which I normally do! Haha). But be sure to ask those who you think are the most trustworthy among the people you will encounter. I always ask security guards and lady vendors for directions.

And of course, don't forget to thank them. Without them, I won't be able to go home and write this.. hehe

5. Familiarize yourself with places.

I don't have a sense of direction. I'm the type of person who easily forgets places. Most of the time, I forget the entrance of a place from which I entered from. But since I only have myself now to depend on, I learned how to become aware of my surroundings. I have to memorize places which can be my landmark in case I got lost. I'm still not good at it but at least I'm learning.

6. Be aware.

One of the main reasons why I didn't learn how to commute on my own before was because I got PUV-phobia (obviously, it's a made up word). Back in college, I always encounter hold-uppers especially in FX. That's why whenever I'm in a PUV, I'm always paranoid. But since I have no choice, I must desensitize* myself. I usually keep my watch, my cellphone (sometimes my digicam), large amount of money in secret pockets that hold-uppers won't usually look at. I keep smaller bills in my coin purse.

*Systematic desensitization - (psychology) A behavior therapy technique that is used to modify phobic behaviors by constructing a hierarchy of anxiety-producing stimuli and gradually presenting them to the individual until they no longer produce anxiety.


And lucky me I don't sleep in PUVs (even in airplanes). I just can't sleep sitting.

7. Walk with the crowd.

It's much safer to walk with other people than to walk alone along the busy streets and overpass, especially at night. If you're alone someone might just attack you without anybody noticing it. That's why I usually walk a bit faster when I'm alone because I want to cope up with other commuters.

8. Enjoy your trip.

No matter how hectic your day was, how long you've been waiting for the bus, either you have to stand or sit in MRT, just enjoy your trip and treat it as an everyday-adventure. I love riding airconditioned buses nowadays. It's comfortable and the fare is just fine. And every once in a while I listen to other people's gossips, read my seatmate's text messages secretly (haha), watch free movie, and a lot more things to do!

Trust me. You'll forget that you're tired once you treat your day light.

HAPPY TRIP!