Reasons to be happy

Wala akong ibang nararamdaman ngayon kundi pure happiness (aside sa sumasakit na puson dahil first day ko.. hahaha binlog pa e noh).

1. Naaayos ko na unti-unti ang papers ko. Tapos na siya sa Dep ed. Kukunin ko na siya by next week sa DFA at naka-red ribbon na. Dadalhin ko na yun after sa DHL para patatakan nila sa UAE embassy. Hindi naman pala ganun katagal din e. So one problem, almost solved!

2. Yung magiging kasamahan ko sa work sa Dubai, lagi akong tinatanong kung ano ng balita sa akin para raw mapaayos na niya yung visa ko. Sobrang thankful ako na napunta ako sa kanila kasi talagang tinutulungan naman nila ako. Gratitude ko na sa kanila na ipasa ko yung exam ko sa April.

3. Yung isa sa mga naging kaclose kong doktor sa ospital na pinagtrabahuan ko sa Bahrain dati ay ginreet ako sa fb ko. Nangangamusta. Talagang super touched ako nung binati niya ko. Actually kapag naaalala ko nga sila sa ngayon, yung mga kasamahan ko dun sa ospital na yun, naiiyak ako. Ako lang ang bukod tanging pinay nurse dun at lahat sila halos Indians. Pero mababait sila sa akin talaga. Magkakaiba man sa language, culture, religion, at POV sa buhay, masasabi kong maswerte ako dahil napasama ako sa kanila. Hindi naman lahat ng kalahi nila ay masama ang ugali. Parang Pinoy din. Hindi lahat dapat pagkatiwalaan. Pare-parehas lang tayong lahat na gawa ni God. Minsan, nagi-guilty ako dahil sa mga pinagsasabi ko sa dati kong blog about sa kanila. Siguro dala lang yun ng frustration ko sa work ko dun. Pero ganunpaman, I'm very grateful to them for giving me a wonderful working experience, and of course, for the friendship and trust that they've given me until now. I'm glad I have Indian friends! :)

4. Nagkasama-sama na naman kami ng mga kabarkada ko nung HS. Nagpaintball kami at sleep over nung Monday! Hehe. Ang saya-saya lang! I love you so much my BFFs!!! :)

Hahaha.. kinikilig yata ako habang nilalagyan ni Kuya ng gear!

Green team vs. Black team (Siyempre nanalo kami! Hahaha. Over-all champion yata ako! :D)

David Garcia Jrs. ang dating namin dito a!

4. Medyo ibinababa ko na ang walls ko. :) E kasi, pinangaralan ako ng isang tao. Yung walls ko raw lampas-lampasan na sa ulo ko (di ba nga sabi ko rin sa last entry ko nahihirapan din naman talaga ako). Fine, nakamoved on daw ako sa isang taong minahal at pinahalagahan ko noon na nauwi sa wala, pero dun sa situation na sinasabi kong ayaw ko nang balikan, yung pagiging takot kong maging pathetic, hindi raw. Kaya raw ako takot magtry kasi iniisip ko na masasaktan ako kaya umiiwas na ako agad. Which is true naman talaga. Kumbaga raw, hindi ko pa sinasagot ung lalake, iniisip ko na yung stage na masasaktan na ako! Hahaha parang praning lang!

Oo, si "O" yung nagsabi ng mga yan. Matanda na kasi kaya maraming nalalaman sa buhay! hahahaha. Ang natutuwa naman ako sa kanya, hindi niya ako pinepressure. Alam niya naman kasi na marami pa akong inaayos as of now, lalo na yung exam ko sa April. Sinusuportahan naman niya ako. At saka for the first time, parang sa kanya ko nafeel na hindi ko kailangang magworry na baka bukas wala na siya. Well, sana nga ganun. Basta, masarap lang ulit kiligin! hahahaha. arte lang e noh.

Hay Lord. Salamat ng sobra. Parang sobrang okay nga na umuwi muna ako. Well, marami pa akong mga pending na lakad. Marami pa kong pasalubong na hindi pa nabibigay.. hehe. Sana naman maibigay ko rin yun bago ako mag-fly away ulit.

Ang tanging ikinakakaba ko as of now, e yung nalalapit kong oral exam!!!!!!!! Nyay!!!! Nagrereview-review na rin naman ako. Kaso siyempre, praning ako, maski feeling ko hindi naman tatanungin sa akin e pinagkakaabalahan ko ng panahon. Nao-overwhelmed tuloy ako. Kaya sabi nung mga nakapasa ko nang co-workers ko dun sa Dubai, huwag ko raw pahirapan sarili ko sa pagrereview. Major diseases lang daw nga. Huwag i-memorize, intindihin lang. OKAY! Sige ganun na nga lang!

Pero nonetheless, super happy ako. :)))))))))

PS: Pinangalanan ko itong blog kong ito ng Everything but love life kasi sabi ko, malas ako sa parteng yun kaya ayoko na lang iblog. Pero mukhang these last few entries ko e tungkol dun. Hmmmm... Baka mapalitan ko na rin yung title ng blog kong ito a! Hahahaha. Joke. It's too early to say that. I'm just glad I have someone to cheer me up. :) (Shet, wala nang katapusang smiley ang entry na to a! hahaha)

The sturdy walls

Believe it or not, I started reviewing just a few minutes ago for my oral examinations on the 15th of April. Then I got bored just by scanning my thick (actually my friend's since I borrowed it from her) Medical-Surgical Nursing book. Gahd! Why do we have to take examinations all the time?! Tsk.

So I'll just make a short blog entry about an sms sent to me yesterday by a friend:

They met...

But the timing isn't right..

She has her reasons and he has his..

They're both confused..

So they decided to part ways..

She wants him to wait, he said he will..

Whatever it takes..

Years later, they saw each other again..

..but too much time has passed..

too late to make it work..

Lesson?

People change, so does the heart..

Seize the moment..

For in truth..

Nobody waits forever. :(

----> made me more scared than ever! haha If you are a friend of mine who's been reading this blog for quite some time, you probably read my entry about me having my walls to prevent myself from getting hurt all the time. Mind you, it isn't easy to have those. Most of the time, I feel like I have two persons inside me, telling me to believe and be positive, and the other one telling me the exact opposite. Sometimes, I'd like to lower down my walls just to at least give someone a chance or the benefit of the doubt that maybe, just maybe, he won't hurt me like the previous ones. But since these walls of mine are built after a long time now, they became a bit sturdier than before, that even I could not break it. I'm still dwelling with trust issues, insecurities, and a lot of pressure from my responsibilities that I must accomplish within a short span of time.

I sometimes thought that I hope I never built that walls in the first place. After all, being hurt and scared are all part of loving. It is not always rainbows and butterflies. In order for love to grow and be strong, we should take chances and believe that there is still a happy ending. Because if we continue to be scared of being hurt again, then we'll never be able to love and be loved again.

Then I saw this status message from my friend in facebook:

"The thing is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just have to choose who is worth the pain."

As of now, I'm still in the process of trying to break down my walls. But maybe, taking a shot at this time is worth giving a try. I don't know. We never know what's the best decision anyway unless we try.

Pero natatakot pa rin akong maramdaman ulit ang selos, paranoia, disappointments, and everythAng else na kaakibat ng feeling na ayokong maramdaman sa ngayon!

Oh hello, Manila!

I am back. Nung Vday pa. Humabol! hehe

Ika-3rd day ko na ngayon. Ano nang nagawa ko? Puros kaartehan pa lang naman! Hahaha. Pampering myself and bonding with my BFF. :) Pero inaayos ko na rin naman yung mga papeles na kailangan ko. Pumunta nga ko sa school ko kanina na pinag-aralan ko nung elem at highschool. Nagrequest ng TOR at diploma. 1 week ko pa hihintayin. So, that leaves me, 3 weeks? Ipupunta ko pa yun sa Dep ed na covered yung school ko. Bago ipunta sa DFA. At ipunta sa DHL para patatakan nila ng UAE embassy seal. Hindi ko alam kung kaya yan ng 1 month. Sana naman makaya. Kung hindi naman, siguro baka pwedeng ipa-DHL na lang din sa akin if ever makabalik na ako ng Dubai.

Magrereview rin ako. Sana this week, makagawa na ako ng reviewer para pwede ko na lang basa-basahin. Tapos siyempre, I have to allot time to spend time with my friends again. Feeling ko hindi talaga enough yung time para magawa ko lahat ng ito. Pero I have faith naman kay God at sa sarili ko. Kaya ko ito!

Hay, sa dami nito, san pa kita ilalagay sa schedule ko? Sa totoo lang, ginugulo mo lang buhay ko. Pero masaya naman ako na ikaw ang nanggugulo.. :)

I Love this! :)

Hahaha.. I have always wanted to have animated pics/gif of my face. Finally!

Thanks to Gickr.com. Non-techie like me can make something like this in an instant! haha So love this! <3

I wonder if I can make this as my profile pic in facebook. Maybe not? Haha. O well, I also added my facebook account on the right side of this blog. However, I'll only add bloggers I know (through comments, blog roll, and tagboard).

So there. Camille is not an anonymous faceless blogger anymore. :)

Happy hearts day everyone!

For all the pics, credit goes to Plats. :)

Akala ko rin hindi about sa reporting ito! Haha.

Kung bakit kasi may mga pa-fall?! O di sana walang assuming!

Proven and affected! Haha

Or memorize talaga yung number niya! :)

Uh-hum... :o

A bit early for this greeting, I know. But I'm still anticipating Feb 14 of this year because of 3 reasons: PBB double up big night (Melay for the big winner! wohoo!!), expiration date of my visa (haha), and simply because it's Valentine's day. Who said it's only for couples? :)

                  

Again,

Happy Valentine's day! Much love and kisses!

--- **cutiemaartie.blogspot.com** :)

The old Me

Usapan namin ng friend ko kanina sa ym:

Friend: Sana yung dating Camille ang naabutan niya.. hehehe

Ako: Na? Yung banat ng banat? hahaha

Friend: Oo. Yung Camille na hindi pa takot.

Iniisip ko yan simula pa kanina. Siguro nga, sobrang natakot na ako na masaktan ulit kaya ganito ako ngayon. Ngayon kasi, dinibdib ko na masyado ang mga katagang "Guard your heart."

Hindi ako ganito noon, promise. Noon, utu-uto ako, madaling mabola, at madaling ma-fall. At madalas akong masaktan dahil sa kashungahan kong ganyan. Madalas akong umiyak, madalas magpakapathetic, at ang laging sumbungan ay ang dakilang blog na mababasa ng ibang tao. Tapos mababasa ko ulit yun after some time, at eeewwwness naman talaga! Hahaha.

Ayoko na nang ganun. Kaya tinuruan ko sarili ko maging numb. I put walls around myself. Sa bawat actuations ng kung sinuman (mostly lalakeng nagpapacute), lahat nilalagyan ko ng negative meaning. Lagi kong sinasabi sa sarili ko na, hindi rin yan magtatagal katulad ng iba. Huwag ka mag-invest ng special feelings mo diyan. Masasabi kong it worked naman for me. Kumbaga, mas pinapagana ko na kasi yung utak ko. Hindi na yung lagi nadadaan sa emosyon.

Minsan, ang dami kong tanong na gustong itanong, ang dami kong bagay na gusto kong gawin, pero dahil I have my walls around me, I was restricted. Limited yung kilos ko. Dapat eto lang ang sasabihin, dapat eto lang ang ipaparamdam. Nothing more, nothing less.

Mahirap din pala. Hindi ko masabi lahat ng gusto kong sabihin kasi nga natatakot ako na baka pag may mali akong nasabi o nagawa, mawawala yung isang bagay/tao na mahalaga sa akin. Hindi ko alam kung tama ba yung ginagawa kong ganito. In fairness, wala pa namang nasisira na anuman. Hindi naman ako nasasaktan pa nang bonggang-bongga kagaya noon na kailangan kong iiyak.

Pero hindi rin naman ako masaya. So, ibig sabihin ba tama yung ginagawa ko?

Nag-iingat lang naman kasi ako. Ayoko lang matulad sa dati na I always give chance pero sa huli ako yung umuuwing luhaan. Mahirap din kaya magmove on at mahirap magsimula ulit na parang walang nangyari!

Naalala ko tuloy yung sabi nung isa ko pang friend sa akin. Totoo raw yung kantang I know I'll never love this way again. Kasi once you've been hurt by what had happened in the past, you'd be too cautious with your actions the next time.

Hay, siguro nga totoo yung kantang yun.

Pero ayoko namang habambuhay akong takot. Siguro, darating din ang time na may isang taong makakatibag ng walls ko. :)

My most favorite song of 2009

I've blogged this song before but this video is way cooler than the other video.

So to all those cheesy, hopeless romantic, and jologs as I am, enjoy this vid! :)

Something light :)

Have you seen facebook nowadays? They have a lot of hilarious facebook applications that you can be a fan of. Take this image (above) for instance.. Haha. I can't believe that 5 of my friends bought that and ended up being a fan!

But I have to agree with this application. In my 23 years of living as a female specie in this world, the-not-so-good-looking guys are actually more of a ladies' magnet than the handsome ones. In my opinion, men who can handle witty conversations with the ladies, and those who can make us laugh are more charming than boring and vain pretty boys.

So if you're a guy reading this, there are still plenty of women who would choose men with brains than those who stare at their faces in the mirror every chance they get.



Eventhough I've agreed with that application, I didn't click the became a fan button.

But I'm a fan of MELASON (Jason and Melissa's love team from PBB double up), Vice Ganda, Hindi ako nanglalait, sinasabi ko lang ang nakikita ko, and many other senseless (stupid.. haha) applications. I just so love facebook which made me delete my friendster account. Friendster has just become so boring after I've registered in facebook.

Anyhoo, there's no doubt that friendster really made a huge impact in our networking lives. But then, facebook is more awesome! Haha.. sorry friendster. But remember that you would always be my first love that I will never forget. :)