Take this scenario:
A boy and a girl hanging out for a few months (dining out, watching movies, calling each other, and the likes). As a girl, you feel/know there's something going on between the two of you. But of course you don't want to assume. The boy doesn't tell you anything except for the constant I had a great time with you, I miss you's, and the "pahaging" effects men usually do (C'mon, admit it. 99.9% of the male population does that). So one day, since the girl is really confused about what's the real score of their relationship, she confronted the guy. The guy finally admitted that he likes the girl and wants them to be more than friends (hallelujah!!!). But here's the catch: He wanted to give it a little more time since he's not sure if he's really over with his ex.
The moment I heard this from my friend, I palpitated a bit and started feeling so pissed off. I've been in this situation a lot of times and I know exactly how the girl feels.
Questions/Arguments running into my mind as my friend was telling this scenario to me:
Why did the guy started going out with another girl when he's not over with his past relationship?
Why did the girl confronted the guy when she can wait for a little more time for the guy to open-up?
Was the guy just looking for someone to divert his attention? a rebound perhaps?
Why did the girl let herself to actually "fall in love" with the guy who's not sure about his feelings for her?
But after writing this whole scenario again for the introduction of this blog entry, I've realized some things and these are my answers to my queries...
How did I ever ask the first question when in fact, I, myself, have done this to someone a few years back. Yes, I went out with someone to divert my feelings for someone special. I don't have any bad intentions at that time, really. I don't want to use him and take his feelings for granted. My original plan before was to give this other suitor a chance and if everything went well, I can finally ditch my special someone. But, unfortunately, it didn't work out. I broke his heart and wasn't able to mend mine as well. So maybe, the guy's plan here was just to have fun and forget his loneliness which I think is somewhat acceptable (haha!).
For some reasons, men really like the "chase". They really want to keep the guessing game alive, whether the girl already likes him or not. Well, that's what most of my male friends told me. But another boy friend (platonic---hope not! haha) of mine has a different view about this topic. He said, if the guy really likes the girl, and he found out that the girl also likes him, then that's it! He's already in cloud nine. So I say, the boy in this scenario is still confused about his feelings not only for his ex, but also for the girl he's been hanging out with.
Refer to the first answer.
I think it's better if we can get the girl (who is actually involved in the scenario) for her answer about this one.. hehe. But here's what I say. As a girl who's been in this kind of situation before, we really cannot control our feelings towards each other. It is very difficult. No matter how high you put up your walls to guard your emotions, we can't do anything when our heart already made a decision.
So my advice for the girl, READ THIS.
And for the boy...
I actually wanted to tell you a lot of things. But after analyzing the whole situation, I understand that you're also a human and not different from us, girls. I just hope you figure-out your real feelings soon because you might lose them both. Oopps, my bad. I mean, you actually lose your girlfriend, but now you might also lose your friend.
PS: I have a teenie-weenie small confession to make. :) I'm actually (almost) at the same boat with the girl in the scenario above (but promise, the scenario is not about me). The only difference is that I never confronted the guy, even until now. That's what I've learned from my experiences before. Never ask when you know there's no definite answer to your question.
PPS: To my girl friend (again, platonic) who's reading this. Yes, you are the girl I've been referring to! hehe. And I hope you've learned your lessons from your past experiences which are all the same (don't you think?). Please be wiser this time. Love you much! :*
PPPS: After so much deliberations and sighs, I don't hate the scenario that much anymore. But I won't change the title anymore (redundant. noticed it too).
PPPPS: I'm just adding another post-script so it won't be three like the last time.. haha. So okay, I'll end it here.
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