Everything but love life

It has been a long, long while

2010-08-14T01:43:00.002+08:00

I don't know what happened but for some reasons, they temporarily shut down my blog. Because I'm not updating for so long? hahaha Anyway, here I am, back again for so many kwentos and I don't know where to start. Warning: this entry might have so many flight of ideas.. hehe

I've been so busy these past few months with work, family issues, and friends.

Let's start with work. Since they gave me a secretary visa for the meantime, my job is more on paperworks. Meaning I do the accounts, coordinate with the bank and insurance people, answer emails, give receipts to patients, and answer telephone calls (mainly). I find my job a little bit more stressful than being a nurse because I DEAL WITH MONEY. And if there's anything wrong with my computation then I'll be a dead meat. Having a foreigner boss also adds to my stress. He is very moody! Sometimes he shouts for no reason at all, and sometimes he's very sweet and kind. He's very fickle-minded. And most of the time I can't understand his barok english! But who cares, he's my employer and he's giving me money. Woohoo! :P

About my family issues, it's still about my parents. They're still thinking about having a legal separation. And my father is still the one who's trying to bind them. He's still trying to fix this marital issues. They're also planning to go here in Dubai this coming Eid and I'm really, really hoping they are in good terms when they come here.

About my friends here, I'm very thankful I have wonderful people around me. I'm having a lot of fun here in Dubai because of them. ü

To be continued...

The Girl taken for granted

2010-07-01T03:48:00.002+08:00

She doesn't know you that much but she gave you a chance.

She's not ready to meet someone yet but she gave you her trust.

She waits for your call in the afternoon even if she has something more important to do.

She waits for your call in the wee hours of the night even if she's already tired.

She waits for your text, hoping that you ate well and you got home safely.

She stays in front of the computer waiting for you to go online.

She sings for you just to make you happy.

She makes you laugh with her crazy stories and jokes.

She listens to your stories and remembers every details of them.

She gets paranoid whenever you wouldn't call her.

She doesn't get mad even if she knows deep inside, you're just making excuses.

She still talks to you even if she wanted to avoid you.

She believed you when you said you will never ever leave her and you'll always be at her side.

She still hopes that everything will be fine and you will realize her worth.

But despite all her efforts and heartaches, you still left her and taken her for granted.

But still, she never got mad when you said goodbye...

She even told you to take care of yourself because you mean a lot to her...

She just cried and hoped that someday, she will forget all these things so she can be truly happy again.

It's been a while

2010-05-18T05:01:00.000+08:00

I miss you blog, super!

So what's been happening to me these last few weeks? Since I'm sleepy and tired as of the moment, I'll just update in bullets.. hehe tamad style :)

*I'm learning how to cook! Oh well, not really.. haha. But I now perfected (almost) how to peel and cut onions and garlics. Plus green mangoes too. And yeah, my fingers are still complete! :)

*I'm eating vegetables more often now since I'm leaving in an accommodation. And would you believe that it's my first time to try Togue (bean sprouts), Monggo, and Tortang talong (without meat)? Haha Poor me, right? That's because I'm a meat lover ever since childhood. But I'm terribly missing hotdogs and maling. :(

*I'm now adjusted with my work. Somehow I can manage on my own now. But of course, sometimes I still ask for help.. hehe. By the way, my job here in Dubai is nurse/receptionist/secretary/insurance coordinator/cleaner/care taker/guard. Too much to handle, eh?

*I met new friends and it's making my stay in Dubai more fun! Special shout-out to Ate Minie whom I met last friday. Thank you again for the nice company, Ate. :) I promised that I won't call you Miss Minie anymore.. haha.

*I've realized that it's not okay to be kind and polite to everybody. Sometimes, you really have to fight for your rights. You don't have to smile and just agree to every single word a person, even your superior, tells you. If they're telling you to do things that you know are wrong, then don't do it. And you don't have to say sorry always especially if it's not your fault. We have to be tough in this cruel world.

*I'm really thankful to our technology today, especially to facebook, ym, skype, roaming services, and of course, blogs.. haha. I'm able to keep in touch with my friends in the Philippines and all over the world because of these.

*Finally, I've realized that it's difficult to be a daughter (who's living away from her parents), granddaughter (who's living away from her grand parents), niece (to her aunt who's having health problems but doesn't want to visit a doctor), employee (whose legal papers are still in process and who's living in a house with strangers with different personalities), friend (who MUST keep in touch with the ones she have in the Philippines and here in Dubai), and an individual (who does everything for herself). But nonetheless, I'm still thankful that I have a job and I'm earning on my own! Haha.

So there. I'm really busy with my life right now and I know I must thank God for all of these. :)

This is my bed in our accommodation. I know it's a bit messy.. haha

Atlantis

(Am I getting fatter now? :( Because almost all of my friends who went here really gained weight so I'm a bit conscious with every kilo and inch I'm gaining. I hope I'll stay the same or at least lose weight some more! haha)

'Till next entry my dear blog. I promise to update you soon.

PS: One of my friends from college is also here in Dubai. He just arrived a week ago (I think). And I'm really excited to see him on friday! It's nice that I have someone now whom I can talk to about anything and everything, especially the problems I'm encountering here.. hahaha. But I won't tell you this part of my life now.

Goodnight world! Especially to my friends, blogmates, and lurkers. :)

Para sa mga minamahal kong bumibisita ng aking munting tahanan sa blogosperyo

2010-04-30T05:31:00.001+08:00

Salamat... :) Natutuwa naman ako at may mga lurkers pala ang munti kong blog na ito. In fairness, may mga nagsesend na sa akin ng emails.. hahaha. Take note of the word "MGA". Promise, tumataba ang puso ko sa inyo. Maraming salamat naman at naa-appreciate niyo ang aking mga sinusulat. Balak ko tuloy i-delete yung mga "emo" posts ko.. hahaha. E kasi naman e. Nakakahiya. Akala ko walang nagbabasa nito at joke-time lang yung numbers ng visitors sa baba ng blog ko (ui, tumingin sa baba.. hehe). Kaya maski heto, pagod at inaantok na ako e i-a-update ko naman itong blog ko. :)

Isa sa mga natanggap kong emails ay nagrequest na i-post ko raw ang experience ko during my DOH exam last April 15. Kaya ikukwento ko na lang kahit ligwak ang beauty ko.. hahaha.

Ganito yun...

3pm ang exam ko sa Rashid Hospital-Auditorium/Library. Sa mga mag-e-exams at walang service kagaya ko, papasukin niyo yung taxi sa may bandang loob ng Rashid hospital. Huwag kayo magpahatid dun lang sa may labas dahil medyo malayo pa yung building. Take note: Separate ang building ng Auditorium/Library ng Rashid Hospital kesa dun sa mismong ospital. Brown building yun. Sa may bandang likod. Kasi kung lalakarin niyo lang e goodluck sa init.

O di nakita ko na rin yung building after mga 30 minutes na paghanap nun (kasi nga hindi ko pinapasok yung taxi sa may loob). E nako, wala pang tao. 2 Indians pa lang ang naka-upo dun sa may parang canteen. Nginitian ko since friendly naman ako. Ngumiti rin yung Indian girl at nilapitan ako at tinanong kung mag-e-exam nga rin ako.

Indian girl: You've worked in which department?

Ako: ER. You?

Indian girl: Pediatrics. How many years?

Ako: Only 1 year. You? (haha.. puros "you" e noh)

Indian girl: Me too. One year. 6 months in Pediatrics and 4 months in general.

Ako: (Umandar ang pagiging pakialamera. Nakita ko yung lalakeng Indian na kasama niya. Mukhang matanda kesa sa kanya) Is that your father?

Indian girl: (Laughs) No. He's my husband.

Ako: (Laughs) Oh, sorry! (covers face)

Indian girl: It's ok. (sabay balik sa table. kinuwento siguro sa asawa at yung asawa e lumabas ng building.. hahaha)

Matagal-tagal ako naghintay. Kasi 2pm ako dumating e. 8 Indians ang andun for examinations tapos 3 pinoy kami. Dumating na yung mga mag-iinterview. Lumabas yung isa. Matandang babae na naka-abaya na mukhang masungit. Tinawag kaming lahat at sinabi kung pang-ilan kami sa mga tatawagin nila. Pangatlo ako.

Maliit lang yung room na pinagka-conductan ng interview. Parang yung table sa mga meetings sa office yung table dun tapos kaharap mo yung 3 panelists. 3 babae yung panelists namin at that time. Yung matandang babae na naka-abaya na mukhang masungit na tumawag sa amin kanina, isang babaeng mukhang African, at saka isang British female na naka-abaya. Kaya alam kong British kasi sa accent (hindi ko maintindihan kasi nung una.. haha).

Bago ako tawagin, hindi ko na maintindihan yung nararamdaman ko noon. Basta, may bad feeling ako e. Pagbaba ko kasi ng taxi, napigtas yung personalized keychain na remembrance sa akin ng BFF ko sa pinas. Feeling ko masamang sign yun.. hahaha. Para akong naiihi na nauuhaw na nilalamig. Buti hindi ako hinimatay.. hehe.

Paglabas ng naunang examinee kesa sa iyo, hindi ka muna dapat papasok. Titingin ka dun sa glass door para kapag sinenyasan ka nung mga panelists na pwede ka nang pumasok, saka ka pa lang papasok. Kasi sabi nila baka pumasok na lang daw dun basta-basta e hindi pa nila tapos pag-usapan yung naunang examinee.

E di ako na. Sinenyasan na nila ako na pwede na kong pumasok...

Ako: Good afternoon madame.

Panelist 2 (P2): Good afternoon. Have a sit. Tell us something about your experience.

Ako: I graduated Bachelor of Science in Nursing last 2007. I have worked in Bahrain for a year. I've worked in Dr.******** Diabetic clinic and ****** hospital. It is a 50-bedded private hospital. I was assigned in ER, OPD, and In-patient ward.

P1(yung mukhang masungit): Why did you leave Bahrain?

Ako: Because I have to go back to Philippines to fix something important.

P1: Why don't you just go back in Bahrain? Why here in Dubai? (Parang ang sakit na ng ulo niya. Nakahawak sa ulo niya habang nakapatong yung siko sa table)

Ako: (Medyo nairita kasi kulang na lang sabihin sa akin huwag ako magtrabaho rito) Because I'm already here in Dubai, madame. My aunt sponsored me for a visit visa and she said to try to take the exam.

P1: Where were you assigned again? (Hindi pa nakikinig sa akin kanina!)

Ako: In ER madame.

P1: Only there?

Ako: In in-patient ward madame.

P1: In-patient? What's that?

Ako: It's also a medical ward madame.

P1: It's a medical ward. You have to tell us that because we don't know what in-patient means. We don't use it here.

P1: Ok. Tell me something about congestive heart failure.

Ako: It occurs when the heart cannot pump adequate blood to supply the oxygen demand in the body.

P1: Due to?

Ako: (Nawindang kasi yan lang yung naaalala ko about CHF. MI na yung naaalala ko) Because there is blockage or ischemia...

P1: NO.

Ako: The heart cannot pump adequate blood supply because.... the left ventricle of the heart is weakened..

P1: NO. Your first part of your definition is correct but the second one is not. How do you treat patients with CHF?

Ako: *Panic mode* (MI na talaga naiisip ko rito!) Nitroglycerine?

P1: NO.

Ako: Beta-blockers, calcium-channel blockers...

P1: NO. NO. (Tumayo para ayusin yung aircon. Akala ko hahambalusin na niya ko sa mga pinagsasasabi ko).

P2: What happens when there is congestion?

Ako: The heart cannot pump adequate blood supply to the lungs therefore the lungs cannot supply oxygenated blood back to the system.

P1: Do you even know what is Angina?

Ako: It is episodes/paroxysms of pain which occurs in the anterior chest which cannot be relived by rest or medicines.

P1: Cannot be relieved?

Ako: Ay, no, no madame. It can be relieved by rest or medicines. MI is the one which cannot be relieved by both.

P3: When you're in the hospital, what things should you check before giving medications to the patient?

Ako: The doctor's order, name of the patient...

P3: How will you know if that's the right patient?

Ako: You can ask the patient his/her name and verify if that's the name written on the chart.

P3: What if the patient is unconscious?

Ako: You can also check the patient's name tag on the wrist. Or you can ask the relatives for verification.

P3: What else should you check before giving medications?

Ako: Right route, right dose, right time, right drug, right patient.

P1: How many did you give us?

Ako: 5 madame.

P1: What are those again? (Hindi siya talaga nakikinig sa akin!)

Ako: (Inulit ulit lahat)

P2: When the patient has IV therapy, usually there are some complications. Could you give us some?

Ako: Phlebitis, fluid overload...

P2: How will you know if there is fluid overload?

Ako: Hmmm... The patient will have dyspnes, crackles... (wala na maisip.. haha)

P3: What will happen to the hands, feet?

Ako: Ah yeah. Edema!

P2: What other complications can you give?

Ako: That's all I can remember madame. (Nalimutan ko yung infection)

P2: Ok Camille, your interview is over. The results will be available on Monday. You can check it online or give us a call. (Imagine, Thursday ako nag-exam. Friday at Saturday walang government offices dito. Sunday wala pa result. Monday pa talaga nagkaroon. Imagine how many days ako waiting in vain!)

Ayun. At sad to say, hindi nga ako nakapasa. :( Pero siguro naman sa susunod, mas hindi na ako kakabahan as compared nung una. At saka alam ko na kung saan ako magfo-focus. Hindi ko na kakabisaduhin yung ibang hindi naman talaga kailangan like GCS kasi hindi naman ako neuro-nurse. Neurotic lang.. haha

TIP:

Be relaxed.
Huwag masyado magreview. Huwag OA gaya ko. Focus on major diseases, especially in the department you've worked before.
It's okay to say, "I'm sorry madame I don't know the answer." Pero magdasal ka na kung sinabi mo yan sa major question na tinanong sa iyo kasi dapat yun ang masasagot mo. Kagaya nung sa akin kasi CHF yung major dun e. Kaya sobrang feel ko na bagsak ako kahit hindi naman ako nabokya sa buong interview :(

Ayun lang.

Goodluck to those who will take the DOH exam!

PS: Ang dami kong kwento. Like nakalipat na ako sa accommodation namin kaya super independent na ako. Busy ako sa work na rin. At hindi na ako sad at emo about love kasi... hahaha.. secret :)

Abangan ang susunod na kabanata!

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You are very much welcome to comment on my posts/tagboard, or send me an email @ camille_radaza@yahoo.com. You can also add me in facebook but you have to at least send me a message that you've been a reader of this blog (please include the url of my blog) so I will know how did you find out my fb account because I only add people I know as much as possible.

Thanks a lot everyone. Godbless! More updates to come, promise. <3

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Wow!

2010-04-22T21:07:00.000+08:00

Natuwa naman ako at may nagsend sa email ko asking me about sa isa kong blog entry.. hehe

Sender:

hi, I am maybel, nurse din. Nabasa ko kasi ung blog mo about sa paghahanap mo ng work jan sa middle east. Help naman po, gusto ko rin kasi magtrabaho jan sa middle east ang hirap makanap ng work dito sa pinas as a nurse. 3 months lang ang experience ko kaya nag hirap din humanap ng agency, hingi sana ako ng advice, mas maganda ba na mag tourist visa muna ako jan sa dubai den hanap ako ng work pag anjan na... help naman.. desperate na ko maghanap ng work... hay,,, thanks and God bless you

Dear Maybel (yehes ate charo naman ang dating ko nito.. hehe),

Hindi ko maipapayo sa iyo na mag-Dubai ka. Sa totoo lang gurl, recession din dito. I was here last December pa. Tourist visa ako noon na good for 2 months. Ang hirap makahanap ng work as a nurse kasi mas pinipili nila dito na may license ka na rito. In order for you to work here as a nurse, you have to pass an oral exam. Sa Dept. of Health ng Dubai. Magtatanong sila sa iyo ng anything about nursing na tumatagal ng 15 mins. And well, kaka-exam ko lang a week ago at sad to say, ligwak ang beauty ng lola mo.. hahaha. Buti na lang mabait yung employer ko kaya vivisahan pa rin nila ako at after 2 months, magte-take ulit ako ng exams na sumalangit nawa ay pumasa ako. Magfocused ka magreview sa area na naassignan ka. Kasi ako sa ER ako nakapagwork. E kaso nagmamagaling ako kaya lahat kinabisado ko at hindi nagfocused masyado dun kaya sumemplang.. hahaha.

Pero 3 months kamo ang experience mo? Kasi gurl, before they allow you to take the exam here, you need to pass their assessment. Eto mga kailangan mo ha:

UAE authenticated credentials (HS diploma, TOR, certificate of graduation; College diploma at TOR; PRC license). Yung sa HS credentials, dadalhin mo yun sa Deped kung saan covered yung school mo. Tapos bibigyan ka ng claim stub ng Deped at kukunin mo na yun sa DFA na naka-red ribbon na. Tapos yung sa college credentials mo naman, punta ka sa university na pinaggraduate-an mo at ask mo paano ipa-authenticate yung mga yun. Kasi yung sa akin, sila na nagprocess hanggang sa CHED. Tapos sa school ko na lang kinlaim lahat yun na nakared-ribbon na rin. Nagbayad lang ako. Yung PRC license mo, ipipila mo yun sa DFA. For personal purpose yata kasi yun. Unsure ako sa parteng yan kasi tita ko nag-ayos nun e.. haha. Anyways, kapag nakared-ribbon na ung lahat ng credentials mo, punta ka sa DHL at sabihin mo ipapa-UAE authenticate mo yung mga yun. Php 1,700 per document. so bale, 1,700 x 3 (HS, College, PRC license).
Working experience from previous employer. Baka dito ka magkaproblem kasi sabi mo nga 3 months pa lang ang experience mo. Hinahanap kasi nila at least nakabuo ka ng 450 hours sa pagtatrabaho mo. Ikaw na magcompute ineng kung nakaabot naman yung duty hours mo.
Passport copy
Offer letter from employer (eto lang naman ay kung swertihin kang makahanap ng employer na maayos. Kapag may employer ka, mas mababa ang babayaran mo sa exam. Kapag wala, tumataginting na Php 25k!)
Passport pictures

Just for you to have an idea kung ano ba ang pinagsasabi kong red-ribbon (hindi ito cake! haha), eto ang images. Plus yung UAE embassy seal na sinasabi ko rin:

(Paper siya sa harapan ng bawat credentials mo na nagpapatunay na lahat ng mga yun ay totoo)

Ayun lang gurl. Yan lang naman kasi ang naexperience ko dito kaya yan ang maipapayo ko. Pero may iba rin namang sinwerte at nakahanap agad. Ikaw na lang ang bahala magdesisyon.

Pero ganun pa man, salamat sa pagbasa ng aking blog at pagsend ng inquiry. :)

Lovelots,

Camille *cutiemaartie.blogspot.com*

What I've been reviewing...

2010-04-14T14:37:00.000+08:00

Sterilization is the eradication of all forms of microbial life including endospores which are the most resistant.
Disinfection is the reduction of vegetative pathogens which are non-endospore forming.

CATEGORIES OF STERILIZATION:
1. Critical - instruments which comes in contact with the bones
2. Semi-critical - instruments which comes in contant with soft tissues
3. Non-critical - instruments which comes in contact with intact skin
4. Single-use/Disposable - should be discarded every after patient

METHODS OF STERILIZATION:
1. Autoclave - superheated steam under pressure with time
                    - 240 degrees F, 15-20 pounds per square inch (pressure)
                    - uses distilled water
2. Chemclave - same as autoclave but uses chemical vapor instead of distilled water
                      - 270 degrees F, 15-20 pounds per square inch (pressure)
3. Dry-heat sterilization - used if the instruments will rust in the autoclave
                                    - instruments should be properly washed and dried first before putting into the machine

COPD - chronic obstructive pulmonary disease
           - irreversible respiratory disease which involves abnormal inflammatory response of the airways to noxious particles
           - chronic bronchitis and emphysema
   *Chronic bronchitis - presence of cough and production of phlegm for at least 3 months of each 2 consecutive years
   * Emphysema - destruction of walls due to abnormal overdistention of alveoli

Bronchial asthma - onset is during childhood and is reversible as one gets older or through treatment
         - involves hypermucosal edema

Pneumonia - usually caused by streptococcus pneumoniae; inflammation of the lung parenchyma

        - sudden, onset shaking/chills
        - rapidly rising fever
        - pleuritic chest pain
        - dyspnea, orthopnea

Tuberculosis - caused by mycobacterium tuberculi and mostly affects the lung parenchyma

       - night sweats
       - on/off fever
       - pleauritic chest pain
       - cough
       - dyspnea
       - hemoptysis

mantoux test/purified protein derivative - confirmatory test; 10 mm induration

Nursing intervention (usually for all resp diseases):
- fowler's position - lung expansion
- promote oxygenation - 2-4 L/min (if more than 50% of the concentration and given for an extended period like more than 48 hours, O2 toxicity might occur)
- deep breathing exercises
- chest physiotherapy
- increased fluid intake

Pulmonary Hypertension - systolic pulmonary artery pressure exceeds 30 mmhg/mean pulmonary artery pressure exceeds 25 mmhg
- mimic symptoms of R sided heart failure

Pulmonary embolism - there is an obstruction due to ischemia somewhere in the branches of the pulmonary artery

Angina pectoris - episodes/paroxysms of pain occurs in the anterior chest which lasts for 3-5 mins
           - may be due to ischemia

Myocardial infarction - the areas of the myocardial cells have been permanently damaged, so the myocardium receives reduced oxygenated blood

    - crushing, tight chest pain which radiates on the neck, jaw, arms lasting for longer period which cannot be relieved by rest/meds
    - diaphoresis
    - restlessness
    - anxiety
    - dyspnea

Nursing intervention:
- high fowler's position
- oxygenation
- feet should not be dangling, should either be dependent on bed or on floor
- avoid constricting clothing

Meds:
Nitroglycerine - decreases oxygen demand of the heart, decreases ischemia and pain
             - can be given up to 3 times only
             - burning sensation under tongue - drug potency

Beta blockers/calcium channel blockers - decreaser heart rate/contractility

Morphine - analgesic

Cardiac arrest - when the heart ceases to function producing inefficient pulse and blood flow
           - conciousness, BP, pulse will be lost
           - respiratory gasping may occur
           - dilatation of the eyes may occur within 45 seconds

Basic life support is an emergency procedure that consists of recognizing signs of cardiac or respiratory arrest or both, and giving proper CPR to maintain breathing and circulation of the patient until patient recovers or advanced life support arrives

Advanced cardiac life support is also like basic life support but it uses special equipments to prolong life

Do not start CPR when:
- patient has a tag of DNR (Do not resuscitate)
- no biological effect, signs of death are evident (rigor mortis, decapitation, etc.)
- in infants: less than 28 weeks of gestation, anencephaly, less than 20 gms

Stop CPR when:

- signs of recovery has been executed by the victim
- turning over to another rescuer.medical personnel
- operator/rescuer is exhausted
- physician assumes responsibility (do CPR, declares death)

Steps:
1. Survey the scene.
2. Assess the patient. Hey, hey, hey are you ok? Activate EMS.
3. Check for obstruction.
4. If no obstruction seen, check for breathing: (1001-1005)
5: Not breathing, give 2 rescue breaths and observe for rising of the chest.
6. Check for pulse (1001-1010), carotid artery (if infant: brachial artery)
7. If no pulse, start CPR. 30 compressions: 2 rescue breaths; 5 cycles
8. Check again for pulse and breathing (1001-1010)
9. If breathing and pulse is restored, put in side lying position until EMS arrives.

Diabetes Mellitus - occurs when the person has high blood sugar level either due to insufficient production of insulin, or the body resists insulin.

DM type I
- juvenile type: onset is 30 y/o or younger
- insulin dependent DM: Beta cells of the islets of langerhans in the pancreas do not produce insulin
- treated by insulin:
          *rapid acting - onset is from 30 mins - 1 hour
                 - actrapid, humulin R
          *intermediate acting - onset is from 2 hr - 3hours
                 - humulin N, semilente
          *long-acting - onset is from 4-5 hours
                 - ultralente, monotard

DM type 2
- maturity onset is 40 y/o and above
- non-insulin dependent DM: beta cells of the islets of langerhans in the pancreas produces insulin but the body resists it.
- treated by OHA (oral hypoglycemic agents)
            *sulfonylareas: metformin, glucophage

Normal blood sugar level - 80-120 mg/dl

Hypoglycemia - low blood sugar level
causes: ommission of meals, overdose of insulin, strenuous activity
signs: tremors, cold clammy skin, hunger pangs, restlessness
tx: fruit juice (orange), candy, dextrose 50%

Hyperglycemia - high blood sugar level
causes: stress, surgery, overdose of insulin, overeating
signs: polyphagia (excessive starvation), polyuria (excessive urination), polydipsia (excessive thirst), kussmaul's breathing, fruity odor breath
tx: insulin, NSS + insulin

*Somogyi phenomenon - occurs when the patient took long-acting insulin at night and didn't eat any snack before going to bed. The blood sugar level will be lowered down while he/she is asleep. The body responds to this by releasing hormones to release glucose. The next morning the patient will have a high blood sugar level

*Dawn's phenomenon - usually at night hormones are released to trigger to liver to release glucose. If there is not enough insulin, the patient will suffer from hyperglycemia the next day

Shock - when there in inadequate blood and oxygen being delivered in the body

kinds:
1. hypovolemic shock - excessive blood/fluid has been lost
2. anaphylactic - due to allergy
3. septic shock - massive vascular collapse secondary to gm - infection
4. cardiogenic chock - when the heart functions inefficiently

nursing intervention: trendelenburg position to promote venous return and treat underlying cause

Post-op complications:
1. Hemorrhage - must be referred immediately for possible blood transfusion or return to OR for wound exploration
2. Post-op fever - might be due to infection
3. Infection - must be treated immediately with antibiotics
4. Atelectasis - may be due to airway obstruction because of broncial secretions. pre and post op physiotherapy should be done
5. deep vein thrombosis - poor blood supply. thrombolytics
6. delayed wound healing - wound dehiscense - may be due to extensive suture tension, malnutrition, poor blood supply. should put sterile gauze on wound and return to the doctor immediately

IV therapy:
- for patients with fluid and electrolyte imbalance
- cannot take food and fluids by mouth
- for emergency medications
- for pre and post op surgery and is NPO
- for critically ill patients

1. Verify order for IV therapy
2. explain procedure to the patient
3. prepare equipments: IV solution already with IV tubings, micropore, cotton, band-aid, IV catheter (g.18-19: BT and for surgery; g.20-22: adult; g.22-24:child)
4. find the best vein possible. straight and visible
5. ask the patient to make fist. taut the skin from where the vein is located
6. insert the IV catheter
7. observe for quick blood return
8. withdraw the stylet needle and advance the IV catheter
9. secure in place
10. connect the IV line and start the drip
11. document

Blood transfusion - transferring blood and blood-based products from one circulatory system to another.

1. Verify order for BT
2. Get patient's consent form
3. check for blood's compatibility
    - cross matching has been done
    - patient's name and name on the blood bag is the same
    - expiration date
4. check patient's VS to obtain baseline VS
5. prepare equipments: NSS, blood unit, y-tubing administration set with filter, g.18-19 IV catheter
6. gently invert the blood bag to mix the plasma with the RBC
7. attach the blood bag to the y-port and slowly start the drip (2-5 ml for 15 mins)
8. stay with the patient to determine any hemolytic reactions
9. check the patient's VS: every 5 min for 15 min, every 15 min for 30 mins, every 30 mins for 1 hour, then every hour
10. then increase the rate. should be consumed within 4 hours otherwise blood will deteriorate
11. after blood has been transfused, start the NSS
12. dispose bag properly
13. document

Chicken pox - varicella virus
- can be transmitted through resp. route
- after 2 weeks, vesicles will appear on the skin
- crusts and scabs will be formed during the latter stage
- *Reye's syndrome - common complication
            - has a higher incidence if aspirin is taken to reduce fever
            - brain dysfunction occurs

Shingles - recurrence of chicken pox
- herpes zoster
- usually on the lower back
- may cause paralysis
- acyclovir is the medication of treatment

Herpes simplex - human herpes simplex virus 1 and 2
HSV 1:
- usually occurs in the oral mucosa
- cold/fever blisters
- latent on trigeminal nerve ganglia (bet. face and neck)

  HSV 2:
- through sexual contact
- latent on sacral base ganglia

- both can be triggered by overexposure to UV rays, stress, and hormonal imbalance

Measles
- rubeola
- macular rash
- koplik spots (sign) - tiny red patches with white central specks on the buccal cavity

German measles
- rubella
- milder than measles

droplet - less than 1 m
airborne - more than 1 m

Hepatitis - any inflammtory disease on the liver

Hepa A - fecal oral route. contaminated food

Hepa B, D, E - sexual contact, infected blood transfusions

Hepa C - same as all

HIV - human immunodeficiency virus
AIDS - acquired immunodeficieny syndrome, latent stage

- can be transferred by sexual contact, blood transfusion, tranpslancental, breast milk, infected needles

Glasgow coma scale - objective measure used to describe patient's level of consciousness through eye opening, verbal and motor response. perfect score is 15

Eye opening:
4 - spontaneous eye opening
3 - by request
2 - to painful stimuli
1 - no response

Verbal response
5 - oriented to people, time, place
4 - engages in conversation but confused in content (disoriented)
3 - words are spoken but conversation not sustained (inappropriate)
2 - groans, evoked on pain
1 - no response

Motor response
6 - obeys command
5 - localizes painful stimuli
4 - flexion withdrawal, cannot localize pain
3 - decorticate (abnormal flexion)
2 - decerebrate (abnormal extension)'
1 - no response

walang tinginan yan.. haha sana isalba ako neto bukas! goodluck myself! I go girl!

How do you stop when you still wanted to go?

2010-04-11T13:11:00.000+08:00

I am hurting. Still.

Eventhough I crack jokes, put up wacky faces, smile and laugh a lot, when I go home, I still cry. When I'm alone, I still cry.

And sometimes I think I'm overreacting but I can't help it. I don't want to cry but sometimes I just can't control my emotions.

I am human. I have feelings too.

I'm crying because I was hurt.

And I guess it's just normal.

Do I have to tell you that I'm still hurting because of you? Because I really wanted to.

Tuloy na tuloy na!

2010-04-02T20:13:00.002+08:00

Tuloy na ako ulit sa April 8 papuntang Dubey.. hehe. Wala na kong ibang inaalala at hinihiling sa ngayon kundi sana makapasa ako sa exam ko sa 15.

Sana, sana talaga Lord. Nag-aral naman ako sa abot nang makakaya ko. Kaya lang Lord hindi ko na talaga kaya. Sakit na ng ulo ko po. Pero promise magrereview ulit ako pagdating ko dun. Sana patuloy Niyo po akong bigyan ng lakas ng loob, tiwala sa sarili, at linaw ng pag-iisip. Pasensiya na po Lord kung magulo talaga ako magdesisyon.. hahaha. Pero promise kapag nasettled naman na ako nang maayos sa Dubai, aayusin ko na rin po buhay ko. Hindi na ako magrereklamo sa trabaho (masyado), mag-iipon na ko ng pera, hindi na ko magshashopping (masyado), at maghahappy-happy with friends (masyado). Thank you Lord. Labyu!!! Amen :)

Excited na ako. 2nd chance ko na ito to have a work na in line sa profession ko, 2nd chance to work abroad, at 2nd chance to go to Dubai. Kaya dapat talaga pagbutihin ko na. Haaayyyy pressure ito!!!

5 days to goooooooooo!!!!

Si Highschool crush :)

2010-03-25T18:12:00.000+08:00

Ayoko nang maging emo kaya magba-blog na muna ako ng masaya ngayon :)

Nung 3rd yr. highschool kami, saka ko naging classmate si highschool crush (HC). Una ko siyang naging crush nung tinuruan niya ako sa Math noon. Hindi naman kami close pa noon tapos biglang lumapit na lang siya sa akin para turuan ako sa Math workbook namin. Ayun, simula noon, napansin ko na siya.

E ang kaso ang dami pa lang nagkakacrush din sa kanya! Hahaha. Sa itsura niyang yun na mukhang pusa?! haha. E siguro kasi, mysterious ang dating kasi tahimik.

Tapos naging seatmates kami nung 3rd quarter. Yung katabi ko sa kabila, nakakaasar yun. Magulo. Lagi akong inaasar tapos sinusulatan ako ng ballpen sa kamay. E sa diin ng pagsulat niya, nasusugatan na ako. Nakita yun ni HC. Bigla niyang hinawakan yung kamay kong may sugat, at biglang sabi: "Camille, magpapasulat ka na lang kasi sa kanya para hindi ka nasusugat." O di ba, ang sweet?! Hahaha. leche siya.

Tapos since seatmates nga kami, naging close na rin kami nun. Lagi kaming review partners. Tinatakpan ko nga mukha ko ng libro kapag siya na yung nirereview ko e.. hahaha. E kinikilig kasi ako noon tapos hindi ko mapigilan tawa ko (actually hanggang ngayon na sinusulat ko e natatawa ako). Tapos siya rin lagi kong kakopyahan sa lahat ng subjects.

Ang hindi ko makakalimutan, nung nagkasakit ako ng ilang araw tapos umabsent ako. Tapos nung pumasok na ako, may surprise quiz sa Math at sa Chemistry. E malamang hindi ko alam isasagot dun kasi kapapasok ko lang! Bumulong siya agad sa akin, "Camille, kopya ka na lang sa akin." E di siyempre perfect ako maski wala akong alam sa lesson na yun! Hahaha.

Nung 4th year na kami, narealized ko na parang gumagrabe na yung pagkagusto ko sa kanya na kailangan ko nang umiwas. May pagkaganun kasi akong ugali. Natatakot akong mahalata niya. Pero nahalata rin naman niya na umiiwas ako. Sabi pa niya sa akin nung nagkasabay kami minsan papuntang classroom, "Umiiwas ka na a. Suplada ka na." Na dineny ko namang bonggang-bongga na, "Ako umiiwas? Hindi a. Ba't naman ako iiwas?" (Pansin ko lang hanggang ngayon, ganito dialogue ko kapag nabubuking ako.. hahaha).

Pero hindi na talaga rin masyado kami nag-usap nun. Hanggang sa malapit nang maggraduation. Tumatawag siya sa amin noon lagi para magpadictate ng mga sagot sa review tests namin. Ewan ko nga kung bakit all of a sudden biglang ako yung naisipan niyang tawagan. At parang engot lang na hindi ba siya nakapakinig sa teachers namin nung umagang yun para tawagan pa ako at ulitin ko lang din mga sinabi ng teachers namin?!

Tapos nung malapit nang mag-graduation ball noon, nagkasabay kami ulit pauwi. Kasama niya yung bestfriend niya, tapos kasama ko naman bestfriend ko. Ganito naging usapan namin:

Bestfriend niya: Camille hindi kayo pupunta sa gradball?

HC: Hindi naman pupunta yang mga yan e.

Ako: Oo hindi kami pupunta kasi may sarili kaming party e (sabay tawa ng pilit).

HC: Alam mo Camille, maraming madidisappoint na mag-aalok sa iyo kung hindi ka pupunta.

At sabi naman ng mahadera kong bestfriend, kasali raw si HC dun. Parang pinariringgan niya ako at that time "daw". Pero nabalitaan ko after nung grad ball, nakasayaw niya yung sinasabing crush daw niya sa classroom namin e and they looked good together. Habang tinutukso siya at that time, niloloko rin ako ng bestfriend ko noon. Sabi ba naman sa akin, "Hala Camille, iyak na. Iyak na!" Hahaha. Bwiset siya.

Tapos siyempre wala nang communication after ng highschool. Nung nagtatrabaho na lang ulit ako sa Bahrain. Minsan-minsan nakakapag-usap kami sa YM. Pinost ko pa nga yata yung ilan sa Multiply blog ko e.

At saka pala kanina nagkausap din kami. Medyo weird pero in a good way naman ang feeling ko sa kanya. Kasi super nagbago na siya. Hindi na siya yung dati na parang tuod na walang emosyon, at sobrang tahimik na tao. Ngayon, mas sociable na siya, marunong na mag-approach at nagkukwento na.

Nagtaka siya sa shout-out ko kanina kasi it's about my crush who's an Indian doctor na ikakasal na today. I call him Mcdreamy. Nagtaka tuloy si HC kung sino raw si Mcdreamy at siyempre naikwento ko. Hanggang sa nauwi ang kwentuhan sa kasal.

Ako: Ikaw kelan ka magpapakasal?

HC: Kapag umibig na.

Ako: Weh hindi ka pa umiibig?

HC: Bata pa ako para isipin ang mga ganung bagay...

At nauwi ang kwentuhan sa mga pinaggagagawa namin nung highschool kami. Nung seatmates pa kami, review partners, kopyahan buddies, at mga kung anu-ano pa.

Nakakamiss.

Nakakakilig pa rin.

Nothing beats highschool.

Iba pa rin si Highschool crush. :)

What's with pride?

2010-03-23T19:48:00.000+08:00

Minsan may mga bagay kang gustong tanungin at linawin pero kaya mo kayang itanong o hindi na lang kasi may pride ka?

Paano kung matatahimik ka lang kapag nalaman mo yung kasagutan kahit masakit (or hindi masakit kasi hindi mo pa talaga alam), go ka ba or huwag na lang kasi may pride ka?

Ang labo pare!

How to avoid being clingy

2010-03-15T17:11:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, when I like someone, I tend to be clingy with him. I always want to talk to him, see him, and share stories with him. Of course, I like the person that's why I'm interested in knowing him. But I guess, this habit of mine is really unhealthy. My friends even said that I'm PARANOID (Oh yeah, I've heard it for more than 10 times now!). But I can't help it! I always think of negative things whenever he would not call me throughout the day. :(

So to help myself from being a clingy-freak, I googled this topic and I would like to share these steps to those girls (or even guys) who want to change their attitude for a loving and healthier relationship.

HOW TO AVOID BEING CLINGY:

Trust the other person totally. They are not like your ex, and will not do the same thing to you. Not every man or every woman is out to break your heart or steal your money. Relax and do not blow a good relationship because you feel selfish.
Realize that the one you love is in love with who you are. That will not change unless you continue to be selfish and that will only serve to drive that person away. Be yourself, the person they fell in love with and not the person who clings and is selfish.
Keep yourself busy. When you feel like being clingy usually, it is because you are lonely and keeping busy will eliminate that need. Find a hobby, read a book, visit a friend, or clean your house from top to bottom do anything you can do to avoid being selfish. (Or in my case, REVIEW!)
Realize that the one you love has a life which you are a part of. You are not that person's whole life and you should not consume them, for that only brings heartbreak to both of you. Do not try to consume their every waking moment of their life; they have jobs and a life outside of you.
Allow the person to be themselves. You fell in love with that person because of whom they were, and if you cling to them for life support then you are changing them from whom you love. You should never want to change someone you love.
Realize that if you try to control the actions of the one you profess to love, you will lose that person. Let that person be him or herself. For if you try to control they will high tail it out of the relationship, as no one likes to be controlled.

In my case, well I guess I'm still having problems regarding trust issues. Maybe putting up high walls for my defense, is really not a good idea. Eventhough I wanted to give my whole trust to someone, I still have this fear that he might broke it and I will be in pain again. :(

But I'm trying. I'm trying to break the walls and to trust someone again.

I just hope he is true enough and will wait for me when the time comes that I'm ready to be with him. :)

*Oo nga pala. Si Juan ay si Juan at si Pedro ay si Pedro. Hindi sila magkaparehas at magkaibang tao sila.*

Hanep

2010-03-12T20:01:00.004+08:00

Ang bilis talaga ng DHL. Natanggap ko na kahapon yung mga papers na kailangan ko. Nagsabi na rin ako dun sa nag-aayos ng visa ko sa Dubai na ok na at pwede na nilang simulang ayusin yung papers ko dun. Nagreply naman siya agad. Sabi niya, pwede na raw ako magpabooked ng end of March. Ang bilis din talaga ng panahon ano?

Masaya ba ako?

Sa totoo lang, eto yung hindi ko maintindihan sa sarili ko. Kapag nasa Pinas ako, gusto kung umalis at makapagtrabaho na ulit sa ibang bansa. Kapag nasa ibang bansa na ako, gusto ko na ulit umuwi at makasama ang mga mahal ko sa buhay. Kahapon nung nareceive ko yung papers ko, medyo nalungkot ako. Inaasahan ko kasi next week ko pa marereceive yun. Sabi kasi ng DHL sa akin last week, 7 working days daw excluding weekends. So ang bilang ko talaga, sa Tuesday next week ko pa marereceive. E pero ganun e. Nareceive ko na kahapon. Dapat nga di ba nagpapasalamat ako at naayos nang maaga! Haha. Ang gulo ko lang talaga. Sabi ko nga e. Bipolar ako.

Kaya rin siguro hindi ako masyadong masaya na natapos ko nang ayusin yung papers ko ay dahil ang dami ko pang pending na lakad. Sa totoo lang, modesty aside, ang hirap maging Ms. Congeniality. Masaya ako na ang dami kong kaibigan, ang dami kong grupong sinalihan, at ang daming nagmamahal sa akin. Super natouched ako na ang daming nagtext, natuwa, at gustong makipagkita muna sa akin bago ako bumalik ng Dubai. Pero sad to say, kaunti pa lang ang nakasama kong friends. Sana naman maintindihan ako ng iba kong kaibigan na nahihirapan din naman akong i-schedule ang sarili ko sa lahat ng lakad ko. Gusto ko silang lahat makita at maibigay yung mga pasalubong ko. Ang kaso lang, nagrereview din naman ako, at sa totoo lang, tinitipid ko rin yung allowance na binigay sa akin nila mama dahil nga mamamasahe pa ako pabalik sa Dubai. Sana naman maintindihan nila na may mga bagay na ganito na kahit gusto mo naman talagang sumama, may priorities ka ring iba na mas dapat mauna.

Pero promise. Ta-try ko namang pangatawanan ang pagiging kaibigan ko sa inyo. I'll try my best to meet you guys before I leave. :)

At nakakatawa ang romantic horoscope ko kanina sa FB. Pakibasa lalo na yung last line...

(Pakiclick na lang po to enlarge image. Kasi kapag nilakihan ko, hindi kakasya sa border)

Haha.. parang saktong-sakto na ewan ko. Nakakalungkot na ewan ko rin tuloy nararamdaman ko naman dito :(

Anyway, bahala na. Lubusin ang mga natitirang araw.

PS: Naalis si Adam Lambert sa American Idol!!!!! Yung bet ko na mananalo from my previous entry. Ano ba yan. Mukhang lagi na lang mali instinct ko ngayon a. What's happening???!

Bipolar

2010-03-10T12:22:00.003+08:00

The heat yesterday was just so insane! Eventhough my electric fan was on all throughout the day, it didn't do any help. I only turn my aircon on for 3 hours during night to save electricity since I'll be needing more money for my trip to Dubai soon.

I don't know if it was just because of the heat, or maybe hormonal imbalance (again), or maybe I was just not in the good mood yesterday.

Maybe I'll be receiving my authenticated HS credentials next week, already sealed by UAE embassy. I just hope it will be finished as soon as possible.

I want to leave now. I want to go back to Dubai and leave all my problems here behind.

I know this is where I'm good at. Running away and never facing my own dilemmas in life.

Lord please give us some rain. Not like Ondoy but something to relieve us from this intense heat.

PS: I saw this in my friend's FB and somehow, I got affected! Haha. Shet! But I already stopped my "stalking" habit since friendster days. :)

Did this affect you too? Haha!

Update :)

2010-03-06T17:35:00.001+08:00

Nakuha ko na kahapon ang pinakamamahal kong red-ribboned HS TOR, diploma, at certificate of graduation. Ang tagal namin sa DFA, which is somewhere in Baclaran (yata?) na. Bagong building na super lamig. E ang suot ko medyo manipis na blouse kasi mainit sa biyahe. O di kamusta naman na ako nung nasa loob ako ng DFA? Hahaha. Wow!

Tapos pinadala ko na rin siya sa DHL para mapatatakan na nila sa UAE embassy, kasama yung PRC license ko. Ang mahal! Umabot ng halos Php4k yung lahat ng yun. UAE embassy seal lang yun a. Gawa ba sa ginto yun? Ayun. 7 working days daw, excluding weekends. Kaya this coming monday pa ang start. At least may nangyayari naman na.

*********************************************************************************

Nanonood pala ako ng American Idol Season 9. Hindi ko pa sila lahat masyado kilala kasi I just started watching this week. I have a few favorites na rin naman at isa rito ay si Alex Lambert. This guy is just so shy lalo na last week. Pero etong performance niyang ito, wow. Superb! Hehe. Siya ang bet kong mananalo this season. :) Pustahan?

At hindi ka ba naman matunaw sa tuwing ifo-focused siya ng camera?

Aside from Dingdong Dantes and Victor Basa, eto ang lalakeng nakakakilig panoorin para sa akin.. hehe

You give me something

2010-03-04T14:35:00.000+08:00

I was watching American Idol last night and one of the contestants sang this song.

You give me something by James Morrison

You give me something that makes me scared, alright

This could be nothing, but I'm willing to give it a try :)

I've found out something yesterday which made me a bit shocked. But as the hours passed last night, I realized that we all have our fair-share of first love, one true love, first heartache, and the likes. Only a few among us are very lucky to have their first love as their partners for a long time. Even soulmates don't end up with each other. And we all are not sure of what tomorrow might bring to us. We will never know who's really the one for us.

But I still believe in destiny. That no matter how long and how many obstacles you've faced in your lifetime, if two people are meant for each other, then God will make a way to keep them together.

Growing apart

2010-03-01T18:21:00.001+08:00

Another thing that I also fear in having relationships is that it is not forever. Even married couples for a long time grow apart.

For example, my parents who are both living in Bahrain. In the same house under one roof as husband and wife. But not in the same bed and they are not talking to each other for quite some time now. When I was still in Dubai, one has to call me to relay one's message to the other. I hate it. Not only because I don't have enough balance to call them, but they both know that I'm also busy finding a job at that time. One time I even told my Dad that it's their problem and I have mine too so they should just fix it with themselves. I actually felt sorry after I said that. Maybe I was just feeling a bit pressured at that time.

Until now that I'm back here in the Philippines, they are still not talking to each other. But they still do their responsibilities as husband and wife. Like my Dad would pick up my Mom from work, and my Mom would still do the laundry for the both of them. But that's it. Every Friday (considered as a day off in Middle East) I talk to my Mom via webcam, but without my Dad. He's either in his friend's house or in church. I miss my Dad actually. I haven't seen him via webcam for a long time now.

Even when I was still there in Bahrain, they were already having some problems. My Dad said if it wasn't for me, maybe he would have left my Mom a long time ago. He's been a very good father to me. He makes impossible things happen for the sake of our family. I know, for the past 10 or 12 years of my life, he's been trying to patch things up between the two of them. Before I left Bahrain, he promised me that he will do everything to make their relationship work. But I don't know what will happen now that it's been months since the last time they talked to each other. Everytime I talk to one of them, one will say something bad about the other. It's very difficult to pretend that I'm fine with what's been happening to our family. I'm trying my best to smile and to keep our conversations light, but somehow, deep inside, I am hurting.

I have so many issues in life that I've been trying to fix right now. It's sad that the people who are very dear to me are adding up to my problems.

And I find it weird that for almost 24 years of their marriage, they are still having these misunderstandings. I just hope everything will be fine as soon as possible.

Plus the pressure of my upcoming exam on April (I know, a month early for this) makes me more stressed!

Reasons to be happy

2010-02-24T20:49:00.000+08:00

Wala akong ibang nararamdaman ngayon kundi pure happiness (aside sa sumasakit na puson dahil first day ko.. hahaha binlog pa e noh).

1. Naaayos ko na unti-unti ang papers ko. Tapos na siya sa Dep ed. Kukunin ko na siya by next week sa DFA at naka-red ribbon na. Dadalhin ko na yun after sa DHL para patatakan nila sa UAE embassy. Hindi naman pala ganun katagal din e. So one problem, almost solved!

2. Yung magiging kasamahan ko sa work sa Dubai, lagi akong tinatanong kung ano ng balita sa akin para raw mapaayos na niya yung visa ko. Sobrang thankful ako na napunta ako sa kanila kasi talagang tinutulungan naman nila ako. Gratitude ko na sa kanila na ipasa ko yung exam ko sa April.

3. Yung isa sa mga naging kaclose kong doktor sa ospital na pinagtrabahuan ko sa Bahrain dati ay ginreet ako sa fb ko. Nangangamusta. Talagang super touched ako nung binati niya ko. Actually kapag naaalala ko nga sila sa ngayon, yung mga kasamahan ko dun sa ospital na yun, naiiyak ako. Ako lang ang bukod tanging pinay nurse dun at lahat sila halos Indians. Pero mababait sila sa akin talaga. Magkakaiba man sa language, culture, religion, at POV sa buhay, masasabi kong maswerte ako dahil napasama ako sa kanila. Hindi naman lahat ng kalahi nila ay masama ang ugali. Parang Pinoy din. Hindi lahat dapat pagkatiwalaan. Pare-parehas lang tayong lahat na gawa ni God. Minsan, nagi-guilty ako dahil sa mga pinagsasabi ko sa dati kong blog about sa kanila. Siguro dala lang yun ng frustration ko sa work ko dun. Pero ganunpaman, I'm very grateful to them for giving me a wonderful working experience, and of course, for the friendship and trust that they've given me until now. I'm glad I have Indian friends! :)

4. Nagkasama-sama na naman kami ng mga kabarkada ko nung HS. Nagpaintball kami at sleep over nung Monday! Hehe. Ang saya-saya lang! I love you so much my BFFs!!! :)

Hahaha.. kinikilig yata ako habang nilalagyan ni Kuya ng gear!

Green team vs. Black team (Siyempre nanalo kami! Hahaha. Over-all champion yata ako! :D)

David Garcia Jrs. ang dating namin dito a!

4. Medyo ibinababa ko na ang walls ko. :) E kasi, pinangaralan ako ng isang tao. Yung walls ko raw lampas-lampasan na sa ulo ko (di ba nga sabi ko rin sa last entry ko nahihirapan din naman talaga ako). Fine, nakamoved on daw ako sa isang taong minahal at pinahalagahan ko noon na nauwi sa wala, pero dun sa situation na sinasabi kong ayaw ko nang balikan, yung pagiging takot kong maging pathetic, hindi raw. Kaya raw ako takot magtry kasi iniisip ko na masasaktan ako kaya umiiwas na ako agad. Which is true naman talaga. Kumbaga raw, hindi ko pa sinasagot ung lalake, iniisip ko na yung stage na masasaktan na ako! Hahaha parang praning lang!

Oo, si "O" yung nagsabi ng mga yan. Matanda na kasi kaya maraming nalalaman sa buhay! hahahaha. Ang natutuwa naman ako sa kanya, hindi niya ako pinepressure. Alam niya naman kasi na marami pa akong inaayos as of now, lalo na yung exam ko sa April. Sinusuportahan naman niya ako. At saka for the first time, parang sa kanya ko nafeel na hindi ko kailangang magworry na baka bukas wala na siya. Well, sana nga ganun. Basta, masarap lang ulit kiligin! hahahaha. arte lang e noh.

Hay Lord. Salamat ng sobra. Parang sobrang okay nga na umuwi muna ako. Well, marami pa akong mga pending na lakad. Marami pa kong pasalubong na hindi pa nabibigay.. hehe. Sana naman maibigay ko rin yun bago ako mag-fly away ulit.

Ang tanging ikinakakaba ko as of now, e yung nalalapit kong oral exam!!!!!!!! Nyay!!!! Nagrereview-review na rin naman ako. Kaso siyempre, praning ako, maski feeling ko hindi naman tatanungin sa akin e pinagkakaabalahan ko ng panahon. Nao-overwhelmed tuloy ako. Kaya sabi nung mga nakapasa ko nang co-workers ko dun sa Dubai, huwag ko raw pahirapan sarili ko sa pagrereview. Major diseases lang daw nga. Huwag i-memorize, intindihin lang. OKAY! Sige ganun na nga lang!

Pero nonetheless, super happy ako. :)))))))))

PS: Pinangalanan ko itong blog kong ito ng Everything but love life kasi sabi ko, malas ako sa parteng yun kaya ayoko na lang iblog. Pero mukhang these last few entries ko e tungkol dun. Hmmmm... Baka mapalitan ko na rin yung title ng blog kong ito a! Hahahaha. Joke. It's too early to say that. I'm just glad I have someone to cheer me up. :) (Shet, wala nang katapusang smiley ang entry na to a! hahaha)

The sturdy walls

2010-02-20T18:26:00.001+08:00

Believe it or not, I started reviewing just a few minutes ago for my oral examinations on the 15th of April. Then I got bored just by scanning my thick (actually my friend's since I borrowed it from her) Medical-Surgical Nursing book. Gahd! Why do we have to take examinations all the time?! Tsk.

So I'll just make a short blog entry about an sms sent to me yesterday by a friend:

They met...

But the timing isn't right..

She has her reasons and he has his..

They're both confused..

So they decided to part ways..

She wants him to wait, he said he will..

Whatever it takes..

Years later, they saw each other again..

..but too much time has passed..

too late to make it work..

Lesson?

People change, so does the heart..

Seize the moment..

For in truth..

Nobody waits forever. :(

----> made me more scared than ever! haha If you are a friend of mine who's been reading this blog for quite some time, you probably read my entry about me having my walls to prevent myself from getting hurt all the time. Mind you, it isn't easy to have those. Most of the time, I feel like I have two persons inside me, telling me to believe and be positive, and the other one telling me the exact opposite. Sometimes, I'd like to lower down my walls just to at least give someone a chance or the benefit of the doubt that maybe, just maybe, he won't hurt me like the previous ones. But since these walls of mine are built after a long time now, they became a bit sturdier than before, that even I could not break it. I'm still dwelling with trust issues, insecurities, and a lot of pressure from my responsibilities that I must accomplish within a short span of time.

I sometimes thought that I hope I never built that walls in the first place. After all, being hurt and scared are all part of loving. It is not always rainbows and butterflies. In order for love to grow and be strong, we should take chances and believe that there is still a happy ending. Because if we continue to be scared of being hurt again, then we'll never be able to love and be loved again.

Then I saw this status message from my friend in facebook:

"The thing is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just have to choose who is worth the pain."

As of now, I'm still in the process of trying to break down my walls. But maybe, taking a shot at this time is worth giving a try. I don't know. We never know what's the best decision anyway unless we try.

Pero natatakot pa rin akong maramdaman ulit ang selos, paranoia, disappointments, and everythAng else na kaakibat ng feeling na ayokong maramdaman sa ngayon!

Oh hello, Manila!

2010-02-17T17:34:00.001+08:00

I am back. Nung Vday pa. Humabol! hehe

Ika-3rd day ko na ngayon. Ano nang nagawa ko? Puros kaartehan pa lang naman! Hahaha. Pampering myself and bonding with my BFF. :) Pero inaayos ko na rin naman yung mga papeles na kailangan ko. Pumunta nga ko sa school ko kanina na pinag-aralan ko nung elem at highschool. Nagrequest ng TOR at diploma. 1 week ko pa hihintayin. So, that leaves me, 3 weeks? Ipupunta ko pa yun sa Dep ed na covered yung school ko. Bago ipunta sa DFA. At ipunta sa DHL para patatakan nila ng UAE embassy seal. Hindi ko alam kung kaya yan ng 1 month. Sana naman makaya. Kung hindi naman, siguro baka pwedeng ipa-DHL na lang din sa akin if ever makabalik na ako ng Dubai.

Magrereview rin ako. Sana this week, makagawa na ako ng reviewer para pwede ko na lang basa-basahin. Tapos siyempre, I have to allot time to spend time with my friends again. Feeling ko hindi talaga enough yung time para magawa ko lahat ng ito. Pero I have faith naman kay God at sa sarili ko. Kaya ko ito!

Hay, sa dami nito, san pa kita ilalagay sa schedule ko? Sa totoo lang, ginugulo mo lang buhay ko. Pero masaya naman ako na ikaw ang nanggugulo.. :)

I Love this! :)

2010-02-11T17:17:00.000+08:00

Hahaha.. I have always wanted to have animated pics/gif of my face. Finally!

Thanks to Gickr.com. Non-techie like me can make something like this in an instant! haha So love this! <3

I wonder if I can make this as my profile pic in facebook. Maybe not? Haha. O well, I also added my facebook account on the right side of this blog. However, I'll only add bloggers I know (through comments, blog roll, and tagboard).

So there. Camille is not an anonymous faceless blogger anymore. :)

Happy hearts day everyone!

2010-02-08T14:49:00.002+08:00

For all the pics, credit goes to Plats. :)

Akala ko rin hindi about sa reporting ito! Haha.

Kung bakit kasi may mga pa-fall?! O di sana walang assuming!

Proven and affected! Haha

Or memorize talaga yung number niya! :)

Uh-hum... :o

A bit early for this greeting, I know. But I'm still anticipating Feb 14 of this year because of 3 reasons: PBB double up big night (Melay for the big winner! wohoo!!), expiration date of my visa (haha), and simply because it's Valentine's day. Who said it's only for couples? :)

Again,

Happy Valentine's day! Much love and kisses!

--- **cutiemaartie.blogspot.com** :)

The old Me

2010-02-05T02:03:00.000+08:00

Usapan namin ng friend ko kanina sa ym:

Friend: Sana yung dating Camille ang naabutan niya.. hehehe

Ako: Na? Yung banat ng banat? hahaha

Friend: Oo. Yung Camille na hindi pa takot.

Iniisip ko yan simula pa kanina. Siguro nga, sobrang natakot na ako na masaktan ulit kaya ganito ako ngayon. Ngayon kasi, dinibdib ko na masyado ang mga katagang "Guard your heart."

Hindi ako ganito noon, promise. Noon, utu-uto ako, madaling mabola, at madaling ma-fall. At madalas akong masaktan dahil sa kashungahan kong ganyan. Madalas akong umiyak, madalas magpakapathetic, at ang laging sumbungan ay ang dakilang blog na mababasa ng ibang tao. Tapos mababasa ko ulit yun after some time, at eeewwwness naman talaga! Hahaha.

Ayoko na nang ganun. Kaya tinuruan ko sarili ko maging numb. I put walls around myself. Sa bawat actuations ng kung sinuman (mostly lalakeng nagpapacute), lahat nilalagyan ko ng negative meaning. Lagi kong sinasabi sa sarili ko na, hindi rin yan magtatagal katulad ng iba. Huwag ka mag-invest ng special feelings mo diyan. Masasabi kong it worked naman for me. Kumbaga, mas pinapagana ko na kasi yung utak ko. Hindi na yung lagi nadadaan sa emosyon.

Minsan, ang dami kong tanong na gustong itanong, ang dami kong bagay na gusto kong gawin, pero dahil I have my walls around me, I was restricted. Limited yung kilos ko. Dapat eto lang ang sasabihin, dapat eto lang ang ipaparamdam. Nothing more, nothing less.

Mahirap din pala. Hindi ko masabi lahat ng gusto kong sabihin kasi nga natatakot ako na baka pag may mali akong nasabi o nagawa, mawawala yung isang bagay/tao na mahalaga sa akin. Hindi ko alam kung tama ba yung ginagawa kong ganito. In fairness, wala pa namang nasisira na anuman. Hindi naman ako nasasaktan pa nang bonggang-bongga kagaya noon na kailangan kong iiyak.

Pero hindi rin naman ako masaya. So, ibig sabihin ba tama yung ginagawa ko?

Nag-iingat lang naman kasi ako. Ayoko lang matulad sa dati na I always give chance pero sa huli ako yung umuuwing luhaan. Mahirap din kaya magmove on at mahirap magsimula ulit na parang walang nangyari!

Naalala ko tuloy yung sabi nung isa ko pang friend sa akin. Totoo raw yung kantang I know I'll never love this way again. Kasi once you've been hurt by what had happened in the past, you'd be too cautious with your actions the next time.

Hay, siguro nga totoo yung kantang yun.

Pero ayoko namang habambuhay akong takot. Siguro, darating din ang time na may isang taong makakatibag ng walls ko. :)

My most favorite song of 2009

2010-02-03T03:10:00.000+08:00

I've blogged this song before but this video is way cooler than the other video.

So to all those cheesy, hopeless romantic, and jologs as I am, enjoy this vid! :)

Something light :)

2010-02-02T03:39:00.001+08:00

Have you seen facebook nowadays? They have a lot of hilarious facebook applications that you can be a fan of. Take this image (above) for instance.. Haha. I can't believe that 5 of my friends bought that and ended up being a fan!

But I have to agree with this application. In my 23 years of living as a female specie in this world, the-not-so-good-looking guys are actually more of a ladies' magnet than the handsome ones. In my opinion, men who can handle witty conversations with the ladies, and those who can make us laugh are more charming than boring and vain pretty boys.

So if you're a guy reading this, there are still plenty of women who would choose men with brains than those who stare at their faces in the mirror every chance they get.

Eventhough I've agreed with that application, I didn't click the became a fan button.

But I'm a fan of MELASON (Jason and Melissa's love team from PBB double up), Vice Ganda, Hindi ako nanglalait, sinasabi ko lang ang nakikita ko, and many other senseless (stupid.. haha) applications. I just so love facebook which made me delete my friendster account. Friendster has just become so boring after I've registered in facebook.

Anyhoo, there's no doubt that friendster really made a huge impact in our networking lives. But then, facebook is more awesome! Haha.. sorry friendster. But remember that you would always be my first love that I will never forget. :)

Super gulo

2010-01-31T03:17:00.001+08:00

Hindi ko na naiintindihan. Ang gulo na talaga ng nangyayari sa buhay ko ngayon (kaya ulit Tagalog ito kasi sumasakit na ng todo ulo ko.. huhuhu).

Sabi ko sa previous entry ko di ba okay na papers ko for exam. Ang problema ko na lang ay yung date ng exam di ba. Kaya napagdesisyunan ko na uuwi na muna (sana) ako ng Pinas for 35 days kasi nga malapit na mag-expire visa ko. Tapos sa Pinas na lang ako magrereview at ipagpapatuloy ko yung pagpapatatak ng UAE embassy sa documents ko. Excited na nga ako e. Namili na ako kahapon ng ilang pasalubong. Kaso kanina nung nasa ospital ako, nakausap ko yung doktor. Sabi niya, vivisahan na lang daw niya ako ng iba (secretary/receptionist) para hindi na ako umuwi. I-take ko na raw yung urgent exam which is sa Feb 17 nga. Sa totoo lang, dapat natutuwa ako di ba? Kasi less gastos yun sa pamasahe pauwi ng Pinas at pabalik ulit dito.

Ang kaso, ang dami ko pa ring worries. Like yung TOR at diploma ko, tapos na yun sa DFA. Naka-red ribbon na sila, ang kaso wala pang UAE embassy seal. Pina-stop ko na dun sa stage na yun sa tita ko na tumutulong sa akin umayos nun na nasa Pinas. Sabi ko kasi, ako na lang mag-aayos pag-uwi ko. E kaso yun nga. Bigla namang nagbago na naman ang ihip ng hangin at eto, ipapa-rush ko na naman sa kanya yun. Hey buhey, you're so gulo.

Isa pa, ewan ko kung kaya kong mag-exam sa 17. Oral examinations dito e. Alam ko mas magaling ako sa written. Kabisote kasi ako e. Tapos pinepressure pa ako ng mga magiging kasamahan kong nurses dun sa trabaho. Sabi nila kaya ko raw yun kasi nga sa eskwelahan na pinag-graduate-an ko ng college. Sila nga raw galing sa ganitong nursing college lang, nakapasa, e di lalo na raw ako. Sa totoo lang, hindi ako natutuwa kapag sinasabi nila yun. Lalo akong nape-pressure na dapat mapasa ko yun. Hindi naman sa eskwelahan nakukuha yun e. Ewan ko rin kung bakit ako nakapasa sa entrance exam dun, sa cut-off grade, at higit sa lahat sa sandamakmak na exams na dinaanan ko nung college hanggang sa naka-graduate ako. In fairness, mas mataas din board rating ko sa kanila (hahaha.. yumayabang na ako sa part na to. Pero totoo yan nung nagkukwentuhan kami kanina).

Pero bakit ganun? Parang sobrang nawala yung tiwala ko sa sarili ko.

Pero gaya nga ng sinabi ko sa last entry ko, ibinigay na ni God sa akin itong chance na ito at hindi ko na dapat balewalain. Eto na nga e. Hindi na ako mag-e-exit sa Pinas. Ang kailangan ko na lang gawin ay manalangin na mapaayos agad papers ko, at siyempre magreview.

Kaya ko ito. RN naman ako a. At graduate ako ng school ko! Yehes. I can do this baby!

Kaya siguro, yung pag-uwi ng Pilipinas kahit excited at may mga pasalubong na ako, ipagpapaliban ko na muna. Babalik at babalik pa rin naman ako dun e. Hindi naman mawawala yun. Isa pa, ang mahalaga ngayon ay maayos ko muna yung buhay ko rito at makapagtrabaho nang makaipon. Dami ko na utang kina parents! :(

So eto. Andito pa rin ako. Go go go pa rin at fight fight fight! :) Hay Lord, please help me.

So magiging busy muna siguro ako these coming weeks. Sa pag-aayos ng papers, pagduduty, at pagrereview. Kaya ko ito!

*********************************************************************************

Ako: E ikaw kamusta ka naman?

O: Ok naman... masaya na.

Ako: E bat ka happy na?

O: Kasi uuwi ka na :)

Last na usapan namin. Kaya excited na rin yata ako umuwi e. Ang kaso, hindi nga matutuloy siguro. Ganun e. Kailangan ko munang ayusin ang buhay ko. :(

**********************************************************************************

Prolonging the agony

2010-01-27T02:59:00.003+08:00

Just like what I've written in my previous entry, today, the 26th of the month, is the verdict on whether I got an approval for the licensure examination for nurses here in Dubai. Guess what?

I took a cab going to Dubai heath care city and I arrived there at 10:30 am. I showed them my claim stub and they gave me back my photocopied credentials with a note in front:

REJECTED: Please give us a copy of your professional certificate and licensure from Bahrain.

Oh, yes. I was prepared. I brought all my original documents and I just got a very-well written professional certificate from the hospital I've worked before in Bahrain. I can manage this one. I thought.

I handed over my professional certificate to the Emirati lady who was assessing my documents. But she was still asking for my license in Bahrain which I forgot to bring because I thought it wasn't needed anymore. Plus, I only have the photocopied version of my license. I wasn't able to get the original because I didn't finish the 2-year contract.

Damn. Damn. Damn. I have to go back to our flat to get that piece of paper! I took a cab again. When I was already in our building, I told the driver to wait for me while I go upstairs to get my document. After less than 10 minutes or so, I came back and told him that he had to drop me again in that same building in Dubai health care city. So imagine how much I spent all in all in taking taxi cabs just to get that paper!

But it was all worth it. They approved my papers. Hallelujah!

The Emirati lady was about to give me the schedule of my exam. She was asking whether I will take the regular one which will only cost me 160 dirhams, or the urgent/special one which will cost a whooping 1100 dirhams. I asked her if I would take the regular one, when will be the earliest possible date that I can have the exam. She checked her computer and said, "March 31." Oh my god. That's just too late. The expiration date of my visa is on Valentine's day.

Then I asked when will be the earliest possible date if I take the urgent one. She answered, "February 17." Oh my, oh my. It's still late! 3 days late! Damn! I told her that I'll come back again because I have to talk to my employer about this.

Evening, I went to the hospital and told the doctor about it. He told me to come back tomorrow in Dubai health care city and asked them to fix my schedule of exam for an earlier date than the expiration of my visa. Anyway, that 1100 dirhams will be added on my first salary if ever I became settled here. And he told me to call him immediately if ever I wasn't able to get an earlier date for my exam. He is, by the way, the head of the Ministry of Health in Abu dhabi and Sharjah. But I'm in Dubai. So there. You get my point.

I wanted to cry. I wanted to complain. I wanted to ask, why do I have to prolong this agony? Were my sufferings and misadventures here not enough?

But all I can say to Him at this moment, is thank you. At least I'm still hanging. I haven't won the fight yet, but I'm not yet a loser either. I still have a chance.

God already gave me this chance. I should not just put this into waste.

All I have to do for now is hope, pray, and do whatever I can to make all these possible. Aja!

Update you soon. :)

PS: Multiply the amount above by 12 if you want to convert them into Philippine peso. That's only my estimation, but still expensive, right? All for the love of staying in Dubai!

And yeah, I have to get another quote box/fun box/something. My Bob Ong quotes from Komski expired.

LSS

2010-01-23T22:13:00.001+08:00

I was singing this song for the whole week over and over again for no reason at all (I think). This song was actually old school but it has nice melody and great lyrics.

I Try by Macy Gray

This is the only song I've heard from Macy Gray (or I'm just not updated.. hehe) back then when she was famous. I wonder what happened to her career...

Anyway, GOOD NEWS! I already received my original documents from Philippines last Thursday. I got one authenticated (red-ribboned) by DFA, my professional registration certificate. My authenticated diploma and transcript are to follow. Yey! I'm just so happy.

Thank you Lord. Thank you DHL! :)

I'm still waiting for my original professional certificate from the hospital I've worked before in Bahrain, which I should be receiving by tomorrow, I hope.

Regarding my application for the department of health exam for nurses here, I've already submitted my photocopied credentials last Tuesday. They told me to come back on the 26th and bring my originals.

So there, I still have a shot on this one. I'm still hanging on! Haha.

Lots of prayers and support from you guys will be very much appreciated. So, 'till here for now.

Ta~ta!

Ang paghahanap ng trabaho sa Dubai

2010-01-19T03:17:00.001+08:00

Mahirap. Hindi biro. Lalo na't recession sa ngayon.

Sa loob ng isang buwan at mahigit na paghahanap ng trabaho sa parteng ito ng Gitnang Silangan, masasabi kong swerte pa rin ako kumpara sa karamihan. Oo, alam ko, sinabi ko kanina, mahirap. E sa mahirap naman kasi talaga noh!

Lakad dito, lakad doon na yung varicose veins ko siguro abot na hanggang singit ko ngayon. Yung walking shoes at saka sandals ko nga, nawasak na dahil sa layo ng nilalakad ko everyday, every night. Magastos dahil mahal ang bayad sa taxi, halos sa isang araw e makaka-isang libong piso na ako sa pamasahe pa lang. May mga pagkakataon din na dadayuhin ko pa ang ibang emirates gaya ng Sharjah para lang magbakasaling swertihin. Kung may oras, pera, at mas malakas ang loob ko, baka pinatos ko pa yung mga for interviews ko sa Abu Dhabi, Ajman, at Al Ain. O di parang nalibot ko na buong UAE!

At kung maswerte ka talagang gaya ko, makakakilala ka ng iba't-ibang klase ng bosses/employers. Oo maraming manyak dito, bastos, walang respeto, at mga nagmamarunong. Pero may karapatan ba akong magreklamo at magtaray? Wala, dahil aplikante lang ako! Kaya all the way ng interview kahit gusto ko nang umiyak at mag-walk out, todo-smile pa rin ang drama ko. Ganun ang attitude dapat. Think positive, huwag kang aayaw!

Marami ka ring makikilalang mga kaibigan either by phone, kaparehas mong aplikante, napagtanungan mo ng direksyon, nakatabi mo sa bus, o di kaya nagkamali lang ng dial ng phone at na-i-dial ang number mo. Pero siyempre, dapat mag-iingat pa rin. Hindi naman lahat ng nakikilala araw-araw, maski kapareha man ng lahi e karapat-dapat nang pagkatiwalaan.

Damang-dama rin dito ang recession. Ang mga kasabayan ko sa mga interviews ay yung mga natanggal sa mga kumpanya dito dahil nga nalugi yung kumpanyang pinagtatrabahuan nila noon. Ngayon lang ako nakaranas na naka-schedule ako for interview, at maraming kasabay. Usually kasi noon, ako lang talaga ang iniinterview. Tapos natatanggap na ako agad. E ngayon, hindi. Sa dami ba naman ng kakumpetensiya ko, ang bata pa ng edad ko at kaunti ang working experience, e saan na ako ipapadpad nito?

Kaya pilit ko pa ring binalikan at pinagsusumikapan makakuha ng trabaho na in line sa aking kursong medikal. Nagkaroon din naman ako ng offers noh, hindi naman ako masyadong kawawa sa iniisip niyo (hahaha). Ang kaso, choosy ako e. Gusto ko ospital na may magandang sahod. E yun pala, mahirap makahanap ng ganung trabaho sa ngayon dahil nga wala pa akong lisensiya dito! So dapat pala, kinuha ko na yung ibang offer noon e di sana tapos na ang problema ko sa ngayon.

Ganunpaman, mabait talaga si Lord. Hindi Niya pa rin ako binibitiwan kahit pasaway ako sa Kanya. Meron na ulit offer na ospital sa akin. Kanina-kanina lang. O e anong dinadaldal-daldal ko rito? E tapos na pala ang problema ko e!

HINDI. Dito pumapasok ang mas marami kong problema.

Mag-a-apply ako bukas (or this week) ng for examination sa DOH dito. Kailangan ko yung TOR, diploma, PRC certifications, certifications from previous employer ko na authenticated by UAE embassy sa Pinas. Ang tanong... asan ang mga ito?

Nasa Pilipinas at pinaprocess pa. Pinakamalinaw na matatanggap ko yun ay by feb pa raw. :(

Sabi ko nga kanina, siguro mas masakit yun tanggapin na uuwi ako (if ever) ng Pinas dahil kulang yung papeles ko at ako ang may kasalanan dahil hindi ko inayos dati pa. Kesa yung dahilan na uuwi ako ng Pinas dahil recession dito at walang employer na kumuha sa akin.

E hindi e. Meron.

Pero ganunpaman, hindi pa rin ako nawawalan ng pag-asa. Alam ko may mas magandang plano si God. Isa pa, malay mo pwede pala ipa-rush yung mga dokumento ko. Basta Lord, hindi Kita pipilitin. Pero sana, please, please, please, please, pleeeeeeeeaaaaaaaassssseeeee naman po. Sana para sa akin na ito. Promise Lord, hindi ko na itatakwil ang Nursing. I-e-embrace ko na ito nang bongga!!!

At Lord, salamat sa lahat ng pagsubok na ito. Alam ko, para ito sa ikabubuti ko.

Alabyu!!!!! :)

At siyempre, salamat sa mga taong patuloy na tumutulong at sumusuporta sa akin ngayon. Special shout-out kina Inday Mechelle, Plats, Rona, Diday. Pati sa tita ko na nag-aayos ng papeles ko sa Pinas! (Bilisan mo!! hahaha). Sa mga magulang ko na patuloy na nagbibigay ng allowance ko na halos linggo-linggo na lang ay hinuhuthutan ko (makakabawi rin ako sa inyo). Sa tita ko na tumutulong sa akin dito at nagbigay ng libreng pabahay. Sa roommate niya rito na nagbigay ng libreng internet. Kay Charee na ever-supportive friend/blogmate ko na isang Dubayuki na pilit pinu-pull-out ang lahat ng resources niya para matulungan ako. Kay Tuts at sa friend niya na nagpadala ng CV ko sa lahat ng emirates! hahaha. Sa lahat ng mga kablogs ko na patuloy pa ring nagbabasa ng blog ko ngayon, english man o tagalog.. haha (Cleotie, Aubrey, Ems, Cha, atbp..). At pati na rin kay O. :)

Salamat ng marami. aysoooooooolabyu all!!! mwuah!

Teacup story

2010-01-17T16:32:00.001+08:00

Copied (with permission of course) from Story teller.

There was a couple who took a trip to England to shop in a beautiful antique store to celebrate their 25th wedding anniversary. They both liked antiques and pottery, and especially teacups. Spotting an exceptional cup, they asked "May we see that? We've never seen a cup quite so beautiful."

As the lady handed it to them, suddenly the teacup spoke, "You don't understand. I have not always been a teacup. There was a time when I was just a lump of red clay. My master took me and rolled me pounded and patted me over and over and I yelled out, 'Don't do that. I don't like it! Let me alone.' But he only smiled, and gently said; 'Not yet!'" "Then. WHAM! I was placed on a spinning wheel and suddenly I was spun around and around and around. 'Stop it! I'm getting so dizzy! I'm going to be sick,' I screamed. But the master only nodded and said, quietly; 'Not yet.'

"He spun me and poked and prodded and bent me out of shape to suit himself and then… Then he put me in the oven. I never felt such heat. I yelled and knocked and pounded at the door. Help! Get me out of here! I could see him through the opening and I could read his lips as he shook his head from side to side, 'Not yet'."

"When I thought I couldn't bear it another minute, the door opened. He carefully took me out and put me on the shelf, and I began to cool. Oh, that felt so good! Ah, this is much better, I thought. But, after I cooled he picked me up and he brushed and painted me all over. The fumes were horrible. I thought I would gag. 'Oh, please; Stop it, Stop it!' I cried. He only shook his head and said. 'Not yet!'."

"Then suddenly he put me back in to the oven. Only it was not like the first one. This was twice as hot and I just knew I would suffocate. I begged. I pleaded. I screamed. I cried. I was convinced I would never make it. I was ready to give up. Just then the door opened and he took me out and again placed me on the shelf, where I cooled and waited ------- and waited, wondering "What's he going to do to me next? An hour later he handed me a mirror and said 'Look at yourself.'" "And I did. I said, 'That's not me; that couldn't be me. It's beautiful. I'm beautiful!'

Quietly he spoke: 'I want you to remember, then,' he said, 'I know it hurt to be rolled and pounded and patted, but had I just left you alone, you'd have dried up. I know it made you dizzy to spin around on the wheel, but if I had stopped, you would have crumbled. I know it hurt and it was hot and disagreeable in the oven, but if I hadn't put you there, you would have cracked. I know the fumes were bad when I brushed and painted you all over, but if I hadn't done that, you never would have hardened. You would not have had any color in your life. If I hadn't put you back in that second oven, you wouldn't have survived for long because the hardness would not have held. Now you are a finished product. Now you are what I had in mind when I first began with you."

The moral of this story is this:

God knows what He's doing for each of us. He is the potter, and we are His clay. He will mold us and make us, and expose us to just enough pressures of just the right kinds that we may be made into a flawless piece of work to fulfill His good, pleasing and perfect will.

So when life seems hard, and you are being pounded and patted and pushed almost beyond endurance; when your world seems to be spinning out of control; when you feel like you are in a fiery furnace of trials; when life seems to "stink", try this....

Brew a cup of your favorite tea in your prettiest teacup, sit down and think on this story and then, have a little talk with the Potter.

~ Author Unknown ~

Antipatikow

2010-01-14T03:55:00.000+08:00

BOSS: You're only 23? So small!

APPLICANT: (thinking: "Duh. Is the word 'young' not included in your dictionary? I'm 5'4 kaya!")

BOSS: You know, we're looking for older than 25. I don't trust young people because they change minds easily. One day they're okay, the next day they're not.

APPLICANT: But it can varies from one person to another, right? *smiles widely*

BOSS: Come here to me...

APPLICANT: (thinking: "Not another maniac on the loose?!") *stood up and went to the boss' table*

BOSS: Type something brief about yourself (on the laptop).

APPLICANT: *typing* (thinking: "Forte ko na ito! Bilis ko kaya magtype. Rank 3 kaya ako sa Typing Maniac sa facebook.")

BOSS: Why are you using only one finger?

APPLICANT: No sir, I'm using two! (forgot the word hands! hahahaha) And sir, I can type fast. See?

After the APPLICANT finished typing a brief description about herself...

BOSS: Why only these? (3 sentences)

APPLICANT: You said to type only a brief description sir. That's brief!

BOSS: Tell me more about yourself.

APPLICANT: Both of my parents are working in Bahrain. My father is an engineer and my mother is an accountant. I'm an only child.

BOSS: Are you sure? Maybe you don't know your father has 7 or 8 other children...

APPLICANT: *smiles* (thinking: "Are you on drugs sir?!!")

BOSS: Are you married?

APPLICANT: No. I'm single.

BOSS: Do you have any children?

APPLICANT: No.

BOSS: Really? Maybe today you're saying that but the next day, you'll say you have 7 or 8 children...

APPLICANT: No sir. I really don't have. (thinking: "Seriously sir, I think you're on drugs!")

BOSS: Do you have a boyfriend?

APPLICANT: No.

BOSS: No? Here you don't have?

APPLICANT: No, sir. I don't have.

BOSS: In the Philippines you don't have?

APPLICANT: I don't have also. (thinking: "Wala nga e ha! Pagdukdukan ba sa aking single nga ako?!")

BOSS: You know the supermarket there? *points at the window* There, you can get a boyfriend. Some are French, Indians, Locals, any nationalities. You can have your pick.

APPLICANT: *still smiles* (thinking: "Sir, if you don't want to accept me or I'm not qualified with the post, then just tell me. I'll gladly accept it. Don't torture me with your nasty attitude.")

BOSS: Ok, I'll give you my number and call me tomorrow if you'd like to come back for an exam. Here's my number....

APPLICANT: Ok sir. I'll just call you tomorrow morning. (thinking: "In your dreams! Kiss my ass!!!")

Bungee Jumping

2010-01-13T02:10:00.003+08:00

(Ui, Tagalog ulit! Parang nagkakaroon tuloy ng pattern ang posting ko rito. English-Tagalog-English-Tagalog. Ewan. Basta.. read na lang!)

Parang ang saya magbungee jumping noh? Siguro super saya at thrilling ng experience na ito. Pero kasi, takot din ako e. Takot akong ma-fall. Ayoko pa talaga. Paano kung walang sasalo sa akin sa ibaba, paano kung walang airbed/mattress dun? O di ang sakit. Mahirap kaya makarecover sa ganoong klase ng pagkaka-fall na walang sasalo sa iyo. Masakit yun sa puso, este sa buto at katawan!

Kaya ayoko ma-fall. Pinipigilan ko. Pero kung halimbawang nakasuspend na ako sa air at nagstart nang magbungee jumping sa ngayon, ang estimation ko e malapit na ako sa ground. Malapit na akong ma-fall!

Kaya hindi pwede ito. Hindi talaga. Tsk.

Huwag ka na kasi masyadong mabait. Huwag mo na ko kausapin muna. Huwag kang mangamusta. Huwag mo muna kong bolahin. Ewan kung yun yung tama. Ewan kung unfair ako sa gagawin ko pero kasi... ayoko nang ganito.

Hindi na muna kita kakausapin... kahit gusto ko. :(

A tribute to Rosanna Roces

2010-01-12T16:12:00.005+08:00

... NOT!

I am not a fan of Rosanna but I like her before. Admit it. She still looks good in TV despite of her figure. She is brutally frank and just true to herself. But sometimes, she really goes too far.

(I know maybe to some people this issue is a week late especially to those in the Philippines, but I would just like to say my piece) Last week, she was a guest judge in Showtime, a noontime talent/variety show in ABSCBN. She made a nasty comment about teachers (which is totally out of the context) which made MTRCB suspend the said show.

Rosanna Roces comments on teachers goes like this :

“Murahin mo teacher mo ha, ako minura ko nung hindi nya nasagot sa akin yan. Walanghiya yang mga teacher na yan hindi sinasagot ang totoo sa atin eh.”

“Kayong mga kabataan huwag kayong makokontento sa itinuturo ng libro at ng teacher, magtatanong po kayo hindi masama iyon. Dahil ang mga teachers they were just repeaters. Itinuturo nila kung ano yung tinuro sa kanila, hindi na nila itinuturo kung anong gustong malaman ng mga bata.”

IMO...

I experienced having terror teachers, teachers who don’t know what they’re talking about, teachers who think they know everything (but actually they don’t), comical teachers who never earned their students’ respect, weird and out of this world teachers. But as what Vice Ganda said, teachers, as a human being, also make mistakes. I also had teachers who are very intelligent and passionate about their profession. I will be forever grateful to them for imparting their knowledge and for being our surrogate parents in school.

Special shout-out to my most favorite teachers all through-out my school life (Sorry if I’ve forgotten your complete names! Haha)

Ms. Racquel V. Quimba (adviser/Math teacher, 1st grade), Ms. Reyes (Math teacher, 2nd year highschool), Ms. Panganiban (Filipino teacher, 4th year highschool), Sir Origenes (Psychology/Social studies professor, 1st and 4th year college), Ma'am Rouena Villarama (Pediatrics professor/clinical instructor), Ma'am Elizabeth Jurado (Pediatrics professor/clinical instructor), Ma'am Delia Llanes (OB-Gyne Professor), and to Ma'am Cortez (Skills Lab/Fundamentals in Nursing professor/clinical instructor) who never failed to scold me everyday of our Nursing duty! Hahaha.

Thank you very much my dear Ma'ams and Sir! :)

PS: I salute Vice Ganda for standing up againts the nasty remarks of Osang. I am also one of Vice Ganda's fans in facebook! Hahaha.

And I hope MTRCB will resume the airing of Showtime as soon as possible. It is a very nice and entertaining show. Lots of people all over the world are watching it. It is not the network nor the show's mistake that Osang made that comment. Please be fair MTRCB.

Credits to: Pinoyambisyoso.com

Yihee para sa 2010!

2010-01-10T15:50:00.000+08:00

(Ok, so Tagalog ito sa ngayon)

Sa totoo lang, ayokong gumawa ng ganito. Sabi ko nga di ba sa previous entries ko, ayoko na masyadong gawing personal ang blog na ito. Pero there are times like this na I can't help it! So since ako naman ang may-ari ng blog na ito, e dapat lang na wala ng explanations di ba? Haha!

Para sa iyo,

Parehas tayong maraming problema as of now. Maraming bagay na iniisip, inaayos, and we're trying our best to be better persons. Natutuwa ako kasi magkalayo man tayo ngayon, you never fail to make me feel your concern for me. Minsan or siguro most of the time ayaw kitang kausapin kasi ayokong umasa at masaktan ulit. Ayokong madevelop sa iyo nang todong-todo. Magulo pa kasi ang buhay ko sa ngayon e. Gusto ko sana kapag pumasok na ako sa isang relationship, okay na ako. Maayos na ang career ko (hahaha.. Lord, alam mo na ito. Ako kasi hindi ko pa gets masyado), hindi na ako magulo magdesisyon, matapang na ako, at higit sa lahat, sigurado na ako sa feelings ko. So kailangan pa talaga natin ng time. Mahabang time. Ikaw rin naman e. You still have some issues to fix.

Pero gusto ko lang malaman mo, na sa mga oras na down ako, natutuwa ako kasi nandiyan ka para kausapin ako. Salamat sa mga kwento at pieces of advice. Ewan ko. Hindi ako sure. Pero feeling ko, may magic na. May kilig factor ka na sa akin. PERO pinipigilan ko pa rin! Hahaha. Ewan ko ba. Ayoko kasing maging super happy with this feeling tapos mawawala rin naman nang bigla. Gusto ko kasi talaga, yung sure na. Sabi sa iyo, magulo ako talaga e.

Alam mo ba (yuck ang corny neto promise), sa tuwing kausap kita, nae-excite na ako, napapa-smile at napapatawa na ako, kinakabahan ako, nilalamig ang mga kamay ko, at nagkakaroon din ako ng goosebumps. Minsan nga namumula pa tenga ko e! Hahaha. Shet. Ayoko nito e. Kinokontrol ko pa rin talaga kasi ang emotions ko. At FYI, kaya ko pa naman. Kontrolado ko pa naman as of now. Hindi ko nga alam kung tama ba na ganito ako e. Urung-sulong. Pero sabi ko nga kasi sa iyo, takot lang akong masaktan ulit. Sabi mo nga, ang taas ng bakod/walls ko sa sarili ko. At sabi mo rin, ikaw rin. Takot ka na rin sa ngayon. So ano na mangyayari sa atin kung ganito tayo? Hahaha.

Bahala na. Siguro ipaubaya na lang natin talaga kay Bro at sa tamang panahon. Oo, naniniwala pa rin ako na kung tayo talaga ang para sa isa't-isa, harangin man tayo ng sandamakmak na sibat, e tayo talaga. ANG KASO LANG, andami ko nang nasabihan nang ganun e hindi naman talaga nagtagal! Hahaha. So, bahala na talaga.

Gusto ko lang malaman mo (as if talaga mababasa mo ito di ba?), na sa tingin ko kahit dapat maging malungkot at hopeless na ako sa mga nangyayari sa akin sa ngayon, e isa ka sa mga dahilan kung bakit masaya pa rin ako. Sana huwag kang mawala at kayanin natin ang distance, time, duration, proximity at kung ano pang nasa pagitan natin. Pipilitin ko rin namang umalalay pa rin sa iyo at hindi mawala sa tabi mo. Sana kayanin natin. :)

Ayoko na. Tama na. Cheesy na. END na.

Improvised bacon wrapped with apple slices

2010-01-04T21:55:00.000+08:00

I just started learning how to cook last year.. haha. And today, since I'm home alone, I decided to make an experiment. We have some turkey bacon left-overs in the ref and I was thinking what else I can do with it aside from frying. I searched the net and found out that it can be cooked with apples. Lucky, we have sooo many apples here because of last new year's celebration. So there, with those two main ingredients, I made an improvised Bacon wrapped with apple slices. :)

What you need:

Butter (I used lard on this one since we dont have unsalted butter)

Onion

Brown sugar (but we dont have so I used white which was okay I guess)

Salt

Pepper

Marjomar (it's some kind of spices. and we have it here in the kitchen. hurray!)

Bacon strips

Apple slices (peeled)

Steps:

Fry the bacon strips in the pan. Don't make it crispy. Just right and still flexible. Then removed it from the pan.
Using the same pan, put lard, onions, salt and pepper, then sugar. Mix it all together until it caramelized. Just add water if needed.
Put on the sliced apples and mix with the sauce.
Put the half-cooked bacon strips and mix everything again.

and voila! My masterpiece. My first-ever non-supervised recipe! :)

It's yummy, really! Haha.. and I'm not exaggerating here. The apple slices are still crunchy and the sauce is sweet and oh so good! :)

I actually enjoyed cooking. Eventhough, of course, I'm still not an expert, especially when chopping onions, but I'm getting there. Maybe this is what I ought to be doing. Maybe I'm meant to be a chef! Haha

PS: Bacon wrapped with apple slices, as the name suggests, the bacon should be wrapped on the apple slices. But since we don't have toothpick here to put them together I just mixed everything in the pan! *grin*

Life is a maze and love is a riddle

2010-01-04T03:40:00.005+08:00

I'm at home having a very painful back. Don't know if it's still because of my scoliosis or because of 8 hours sitting in front of the computer, sending resumes in all the hospitals/clinics/polyclinics here in Dubai. I also have black-stained fingers because of frequent scanning of classified ads in newspapers.

Am I losing hope? Well... honestly, a bit. I'm really an optimistic person. But sometimes, I just can't help it. :(

I'm a nurse who doesn't know which path should I really be taking. I love arts and yes, most of the time I wish that I should have taken Fine Arts instead of Nursing. But don't get me wrong. I don't despise Nursing. It's just that, maybe, I'm not given the chance to be included in a well-known tertiary hospital where I can learn and improve my nursing skills.

I'm a mediocre nursing student. I have average grades in Nursing subjects back in College. My best subjects were Statistics, Asian Civilization, Social Studies, and PE, specifically football! Haha. Subjects which are not really needed in Nursing!

Do I love having duties in the hospital? Yes and No.

I'm really not used to emergency situations. I'm not expert at putting IV cannulas. Usually, I palpitate and get nervous whenever I was having patients who were suffering terribly in pain. I don't have sufficient knowledge and experience in treating all diseases, which makes me a little bit unconfident to be a nurse.

But whenever I'm doing nursing interventions and I get it right the first time, it really makes my heart leap. :) I enjoy blood, wounds, pus, and everything icky and yucky coming out from the patients (except for urine and poop, of course. Who would have want that?!). And believe it or not, I'm compassionate about my patients. The feeling is priceless whenever I get genuine gratitude from my patients. That really makes me feel that I'm making a difference. I'm someone in this world. I'm worthy.

Does that mean I am qualified as a nurse? I don't know. But I remember, before I made my decision to take a degree in Nursing, I asked God for a sign. That if I pass the exam and interview in the university where I graduated, then I'm definitely meant to be a nurse. Not only that, He made me passed my 4 years in Nursing without failing marks, and even made me passed the Nursing Licensure exam.

And to add a bonus on that one, He made me practiced my profession in a foreign country for a year eventhough I didn't have any working experience in my home land!

So am I really meant to be a nurse? What if I'm pursuing a wrong path? What if I should be doing something else where I can really excel and be happy about?

Oh God, this is really, really, really hard. I just pray that someday (in the near future I hope), I would know what's meant for me and what's my real purpose in life.

Throughout the whole day, the lyrics of the song entitled The Show by Lenka, were playing through my mind. It's as if the letters of the song were teasing me...

"I'm just a little bit caught in the moment, life is a maze and love is a riddle. I don't know where to go, can't do it alone, I've tried. I've got to let it go... and just enjoy the show."

Maybe that's what God is telling me as of this moment. Stop worrying of so many things that I should not be worrying about in the first place and just enjoy my journey. Eventhough depression is really kicking in this time (maybe due to hormonal imbalance again), I know all these obstacles that I'm facing will be all worth it in the end. :)

In fact, these obstacles are not really obstacles compared to the problems other people are having! I should be thankful that I still have a wonderful life with my loved-ones and friends despite of my mind-boggling queries about life.. hehe

Anyway, on the lighter side, my college friends had a mini-reunion today in Trinoma (where else? haha) and I really wish I was there. Funny because eventhough I wasn't there anymore, the meeting place was still in Red Ribbon inside Trinoma. That place became very memorable for me. It became the meeting place whenever my friends (from gradeschool, highschool, and college) and I would plan for a get-together. It was also the place where I met my blogmates...

and so as some other people I just met this year, I mean last year! haha *wink*

Ekspleyn

2010-01-02T03:39:00.003+08:00

Sa loob ng humigit-kumulang 5 years of blogging ko, masasabi kong ibang-iba ako sa blog kong ito. Marami akong blogs noon at 3 na lang ang existing sa ngayon pero yung dalawa hindi ko na masyado naa-update. Bukod sa puros kadramahan, kaartehan, at ka-bitteran ang mga pinagsusulat ko dun sa mga dati na hindi ko maisulat masyado rito, ay English ang napili kong language sa blog kong ito... hahaha. Hindi para mag-inarte, magmalaki, o kung anuman. Ang pagkakaiba kasi ng pagsulat ko ng English na blog entry, mas naiisip ko yung mga sinusulat ko. Mas naiisip ko kung dapat ko pa bang ilagay itong topic na ito o hindi na. Kung Tagalog kasi, go lang ako ng go. Hala, sige. Banat ng banat. I don't care kung puros kapathetican ang mga pinagsusulat ko noon, na sa tuwing babasahin ko, ay madalas na napapahawak ako sa noo ko at napapasabing OMG! at napapatanong kung bakit ko pa sinulat ang mga yun. Oo marami akong pinagsisihang sinulat na entries noon na gusto ko sanang i-delete kaso marami nang nakabasa nun. At in fairness naman, hindi naman lahat pinagsisisihan kong isulat. Yung iba naman, natatawa ako at na-a-amazed ako sa sarili ko ngayon na parang nagmatured na ako kesa dun sa nakaraang ako na nagsulat nung blog entry na yun.

Pero meron din akong mga nakuhang violent reactions sa mga taong nagbabasa ng blogs ko noon. Yung iba pa nga talagang i-sesend nila as private message sa akin. At sa maniwala man kayo't sa hindi, nagkaroon din ako ng stalkers dahil sa mga pinopost ko noon. Nakakatawa na nakakainis na pinag-aksayahan pa nila ng panahon di ba. To think na may karapatan naman ako sa freedom of speech at wala silang pakialam sa blog ko.

Sa totoo lang, ang dami kong gustong ikuwento sa blog na ito, ang dami kong gustong i-post na pictures, links, etc, pero mas controlled na ang posting ko rito. Kumbaga sa TV shows, may MTRCB na. Ganun na ngayon ang blog kong ito. Hindi na lahat sinasabi ko, hindi na lahat pinopost ko, at hindi na masyadong personalized. Usually ang mga nilalagay ko na nga lang dito ay general topic e.

Nakakamiss din yung dati kong style ng pagbablog. Actually, mas masaya ako sa ganung style. Pero kasi, naisip ko naman, hindi naman kasi lahat ng information or emotions ko, kailangan ko i-divulge sa public.

Pero minsan kasi, wala akong mapagsabihan ng mga agam-agam ko sa buhay at gusto ko sana i-blog. Kaso, dahil nga controlled na ang pagpopost ko sa blog na ito, hindi ko na naitutuloy i-post. Kaya ang ending, lahat ng mga bagay-bagay na dapat naisulat ko na sa blog na dapat nakapagpagaan na ng nararamdaman ko ngayon ay nasa utak ko pa rin. Asar!

Di bale. Siguro after a few days/weeks, lilipas din itong mga ito. This too shall pass again.

Pero namimiss ko pa rin yung mga dati kong blogs. :(

But I am now, I believe, is a better and grown-up person writing in this blog. :)

Happy 2010

2009-12-31T16:48:00.004+08:00

Am I excited for the coming year? Actually, to tell you honestly, no. If I have superpowers I want to freeze everything around me, especially time. Then while everything was stopped, I, on the otherhand, will have all the time to improve myself. But in reality, we are all living in a fast-paced life and we should hang on tight because we'll never know that we might be the only one stranded and left alone.

2009...Hmmmm... I don't know if it's really that bad for me. Well, this year, I had so many confusions in life most especially regarding career and matters of the heart. But this year also gave me the time to spend with my loved-ones and friends. I also had a lot of lessons learned. I think 2009 made me a better person. :)

So for the year 2010, I'm making 30 (20+10) resolutions. I don't usually make New year resolutions because I always end up messing them but hey, it's a new year and a new start for a new me.

My 30 resolutions for the year 2010

Be organized. Just by seeing this resolution makes me want to say, "Ugh!". I'm really a messy person. And I kinda like it that way! haha.. I don't know why but I can't find what I'm looking for if my place is neat. But if it's cluttered like the way I'm used to, voila! It's like I have an x-ray vision of all the things that I needed. But since it's new year and I'm already matured and a better person *wink*, then ok. I'll try to be organized this year.
Don't procrastinate.
Learn how to cook more. Take note, I added the word "more". Before this year started, I really don't know how to cook. As in zero, nada, nay. But because of determination (haha), I learned how to fry sunny side ups and other cold cuts. Just a few weeks after I came here in Dubai, my aunt taught me how to make Sinigang by using lemon instead of the tamarind mix we're used to. I also know now how to cook rice... but by only using rice cooker! Haha.. C'mon, give me a little more time and I know I'll be better someday. I'll be a good home-maker. :)
Do the laundry often.
Make the beddings neat right after waking up in the morning.
Limit using unnecessary websites, especially games in facebook which use a lot of time!
Be more focused. I think I know now where I'm going. :)
Limit criticizing/mocking people. Sorry, I just can't help it sometimes. I know I'm just a human being who makes mistakes, but this is really inevitable. But I promise to lessen this hobby this year.
Take a bath for only 15-20 minutes. I can't help it if I have to use conditioner all the time so it takes an hour at least for me to be finished! Haha. But yeah, I'll cut off my bathing time this year.
Sleep early and at least 8 hours a day.
Eat MORE (if not all) fruits.
Eat MORE (if not all) vegetables.
Drink 8 (if not more) glasses of water a day.
LIMIT EATING SWEETS. I typed it in all caps since I know this is a very difficult task for me. I don't know if I'm having a behavioral disorder about this but I just find myself sometimes battling whether to eat more sweets or not. Like if I tasted a piece of chocolate, after I savored its sweetness for just a few seconds, I crave for more and more until I already finished the whole box! And I always end up losing the battle because I always give in to sweets. :(
Take vitamins regularly and never forget it.
Exercise! Another Ugh! But I really need this because I have scoliosis and everyday now is a problem for me because my back hurts more frequently than before.
Relax and be cool. Stop stressing myself.
Be more optimistic.
Pray more.
Go to mass more often.
Sing with the choir during mass.
Stop complaining. Do the task first and if the task is successfully done, then don't complain anymore.
Call Lola and Lolo more often.
Limit answering back to parents, especially to mom. Oh dear God, please help me on this one.
Always make a plan before making a big decision. Think about pros and cons
Keep in touch with friends and never take them for granted.
Always be a good samaritan and offer help when needed.
DON'T SPEND MORE THAN WHAT I'M EARNING.
Save, save, save money!!!
Learn to accept, be happy and contented for what I have. Stop asking for too much.

So there. I'll just hope this year will bring us more luck, joy, and peace in everybody.

I'll end this one by sharing you an inspirational quote from my God's message application in facebook:

"If you focus on problems, you will have more problems. If you focus on possibilities, you will have more opportunities."

Cheers to all of us for the coming 2010! Happy new year everyone!!! :)

Anti-stress buster :)

2009-12-29T15:22:00.002+08:00

I've been going through a tough time but one thing that really makes me happy the whole day? watching PBB double up in Pinoychannel.tv! hahaha. I really love the housemates and of course, I'm a certified Melason fan! (Di ba, Aubrey? hehe)

Since I'm a fan of them in facebook, I saw this video. This is Jason and Melissa's funny themesong. Mahal kita kasi sang by Nicole Hyala (a DJ in Love Radio). It's really a corny song so if you're not into these kind of things, well, just don't play it. But for those of you who are fun-loving, hopeless romantic, and jologs as I am, then go. This is for us! Haha Enjoy! :)

My favorite line was: Apoy ka ba? Kasi (kasi)... alab alab... alabyu!!! :)

I don't know about you but if a boy sings this to me, he would really sweep me off my feet!

a little help

2009-12-22T20:34:00.001+08:00

Dear God,

Please give me a stable mind to make the right decisions.

Amen.

PS: Advanced happy birthday Papa J. :)

Prayer in blogs really works for me. So I'm putting this one here. :)

Decision-making is the toughest task for me. Wasn't able to stand up on my own since I was born. I became so dependent with people around me that I always ask for their help. But now I really have to be strong and face my fears alone. I can do this! I have faith in myself and in the Lord. With Him, nothing is impossible.

And I'm really getting old and matured. Love it! :)

I really hate it

2009-12-19T03:50:00.003+08:00

Take this scenario:

A boy and a girl hanging out for a few months (dining out, watching movies, calling each other, and the likes). As a girl, you feel/know there's something going on between the two of you. But of course you don't want to assume. The boy doesn't tell you anything except for the constant I had a great time with you, I miss you's, and the "pahaging" effects men usually do (C'mon, admit it. 99.9% of the male population does that). So one day, since the girl is really confused about what's the real score of their relationship, she confronted the guy. The guy finally admitted that he likes the girl and wants them to be more than friends (hallelujah!!!). But here's the catch: He wanted to give it a little more time since he's not sure if he's really over with his ex.

The moment I heard this from my friend, I palpitated a bit and started feeling so pissed off. I've been in this situation a lot of times and I know exactly how the girl feels.

Questions/Arguments running into my mind as my friend was telling this scenario to me:

Why did the guy started going out with another girl when he's not over with his past relationship?
Why did the girl confronted the guy when she can wait for a little more time for the guy to open-up?
Was the guy just looking for someone to divert his attention? a rebound perhaps?
Why did the girl let herself to actually "fall in love" with the guy who's not sure about his feelings for her?

But after writing this whole scenario again for the introduction of this blog entry, I've realized some things and these are my answers to my queries...

How did I ever ask the first question when in fact, I, myself, have done this to someone a few years back. Yes, I went out with someone to divert my feelings for someone special. I don't have any bad intentions at that time, really. I don't want to use him and take his feelings for granted. My original plan before was to give this other suitor a chance and if everything went well, I can finally ditch my special someone. But, unfortunately, it didn't work out. I broke his heart and wasn't able to mend mine as well. So maybe, the guy's plan here was just to have fun and forget his loneliness which I think is somewhat acceptable (haha!).
For some reasons, men really like the "chase". They really want to keep the guessing game alive, whether the girl already likes him or not. Well, that's what most of my male friends told me. But another boy friend (platonic---hope not! haha) of mine has a different view about this topic. He said, if the guy really likes the girl, and he found out that the girl also likes him, then that's it! He's already in cloud nine. So I say, the boy in this scenario is still confused about his feelings not only for his ex, but also for the girl he's been hanging out with.
Refer to the first answer.
I think it's better if we can get the girl (who is actually involved in the scenario) for her answer about this one.. hehe. But here's what I say. As a girl who's been in this kind of situation before, we really cannot control our feelings towards each other. It is very difficult. No matter how high you put up your walls to guard your emotions, we can't do anything when our heart already made a decision.

So my advice for the girl, READ THIS.

And for the boy...

I actually wanted to tell you a lot of things. But after analyzing the whole situation, I understand that you're also a human and not different from us, girls. I just hope you figure-out your real feelings soon because you might lose them both. Oopps, my bad. I mean, you actually lose your girlfriend, but now you might also lose your friend.

PS: I have a teenie-weenie small confession to make. :) I'm actually (almost) at the same boat with the girl in the scenario above (but promise, the scenario is not about me). The only difference is that I never confronted the guy, even until now. That's what I've learned from my experiences before. Never ask when you know there's no definite answer to your question.

PPS: To my girl friend (again, platonic) who's reading this. Yes, you are the girl I've been referring to! hehe. And I hope you've learned your lessons from your past experiences which are all the same (don't you think?). Please be wiser this time. Love you much! :*

PPPS: After so much deliberations and sighs, I don't hate the scenario that much anymore. But I won't change the title anymore (redundant. noticed it too).

PPPPS: I'm just adding another post-script so it won't be three like the last time.. haha. So okay, I'll end it here.

In choosing the one

2009-12-17T19:57:00.001+08:00

1. It's not enough that he's cute.

2. It's not enough that he has nice set of teeth.

3. It's not enough that he has perfect skin.

4. It's not enough that he's kind.

5. It's not enough that he's small (the height i mean. *evil grin*)

6. It's not enough that he's smart.

7. It's not enough he can make you laugh.

8. It's not enough that he has a good body (even how DEYMN HOT it is).

9. It's not enough that he has a car.

10. It's not enough that he's a good cook.

11. It's not enough that he has a lot of good ideas.

12. It's not enough that he's very thoughtful.

13. It's not enough that he's a hopeless-romantic like you do.

14. It's not enough that he's rich.

15. It's not enough that he has a good diction and proper grammar usage.

16. It's not enough that he apologizes for anything stupid he did (even if it was your mistake actually! hehe)

17. It's not enough that he's bald.

18. It's not enough that he had long hair.

19. It's not enough that he's a good listener.

20. It's not enough even if you have so many, as in sooooo many things in common.

But he's just a boy...

he doesn't understand

how it feels to love a girl

he doesn't care how it hurts

until he lose the one he wanted

cause he's taken her for granted

and everything they had got destroyed.

PS: This is just out of boredom and not about me. Promise! :)

PPS: I really want to post my Dubey pics here and in my fb but I'm still waiting for the good news.. so later!

PPPS: this is me and my good hair day pic! Hehe... My hair is getting longer now. Thank goodness! :)

Random thoughts

2009-12-05T21:45:00.002+08:00

I saw this video while browsing what's new in youtube. This is the goodbye song from PBB double up everytime someone gets evicted from the house.

It's Gonna Make Sense - Michael Learns To Rock

It has nice lyrics, don't you think? Very inspiring. :)

I really believe in the saying that everything happens for a reason. There's a purpose why we met a certain person once in our life. There's an answer why we ended up like this, may it be different from what we dreamt of when we were young. Along our way, we will find difficulties to test how strong we really are. We have a lot of questions and we're not sure about the answers.

But someday, in His right time, all these pieces will fall into their places.

Someday, it's gonna make sense. :)

Cheesy

2009-12-03T17:01:00.000+08:00

Sorry for being a corny, hopeless romantic but stuff like this really makes my day! :)

Sickly no more

2009-11-30T16:39:00.009+08:00

Last Friday I went to my most favorite mall (of course, Trinoma! haha) to buy a couple of kikay stuff, then went to SM North (just on the other side) to check out something in Watsons, and went back to Trinoma to eat ice cream at Iceberg's. Just by going in and out of both malls under the scorching heat of the sun, and experiencing the freezing aircon inside SM Annex, made me exhausted the whole day. While I was in Iceberg's, I already felt I was developing a sore throat but I still ordered their Ola Mocha milkshake. Later that night at home, I was so sick that I couldn't get up to eat dinner. From yesterday until today, I still have colds and fever. :(

Among my family and friends, I'm the unhealthiest and sickly person. Since childhood, there was never a school year that I had a perfect attendance because I always get sick (either flu, stomach ache, dysmennorhea, allergies, etc.). I've always been the child with a weak immune system. I take a lot of vitamins even until now but still, I easily get sick.

That's why being a nurse is such a risky profession for me. And for those who personally knew me, you know why I went back here after a year of working abroad. But don't worry because I already finished the treatment and my doctor gave me a medical certificate.

But eventhough I've finished the treatment, I'm still the girl with a weak immune system. That's why I think I need to change my habits and have a healthy lifestyle.

Here are some of the things that I would be focusing on to strengthen my immune system:

1. Eat fruits and vegetables. I have a confession to make. The only vegetable I eat is baguio beans. Sometimes, Laing (Taro leaves). And the only fruits I eat are ripe mango, banana, grapes, and lansones. (Of course I eat fruit salad but that's already processed! Hehe). So from this day on, I promise to try eating other varieties of fruits and vegetables than having meat alone.

2. Sleep early. I don't know if it's because of my body clock that has not been normalized since I came back here or I'm just a night person. I usually sleeps at around 2 am and then wakes up at 10 am. I know it's still 8 hours of sleep but from what I've learned, sleeping early is much beneficial than just having enough hours of sleep. Here's an article about it.

3. Take a bath in the morning not during wee hours of the night! I usually take a bath twice a day, morning and before going to sleep. So since I sleep late, I also do my second bath late! 12 midnight or past 12 maybe. My doctor said it's very unhealthy and can cause anemia.

4. Take vitamins regularly. Right now, I'm only taking vitamins C and E. My doctor prescribed me a multivitamin but I'm really confused on which is more effective, taking vitamins individually or multivitamins alone? I searched it and found this answer:

“Avoid taking individual vitamins and minerals, unless recommended by a health professional. (An additional calcium supplement may be an
exception.) Vitamins and minerals interact with each other in a
delicate balance. Overloading on one or two individual vitamins or
minerals can interfere with the body's ability to use other vitamins
and minerals.”

5. Exercise regularly. I really hate exercising. I'm not sporty either. But since I plan to change my lifestyle, maybe doing a little work-out, like jogging, won't hurt.

6. Keep things in moderation. They say, anything excessive is bad for us. And by this, I'll make another confession. I use 10 teaspoons of sugar in my coffee. And I love salty foods! (I know. Diabetes and increase in uric acid here I come.) So before anything serious happens to me, I'll cut down on my sugar and salt intake.

For now, I'll only have this list. Listing down these goals is a lot easier than actually following it! But I better start now than be sorry for tomorrow.

Goodbye sickly girl and hello healthy me!

-------->>>>> COMMERCIAL: I'm suffering from LSS since last night and this is the reason:

Owl City - Fireflies

Get this Mp3 @ SuperMP3Guide.com

I'd like to make myself believe... that planet Earth turns slowly...

Go Bayani!

2009-11-23T20:24:00.004+08:00

"Paano po ba maging isang bayani?" How will you be a hero?

Efren Penaflorida asked that question via VTR last night in Isang Tanong, a GMA 7 Presidential forum which includes: Sen. Manuel Villar, Sen. Noynoy Aquino, Defense Secretary Gilbert Teodoro, Ex-pres. Joseph Estrada, JILC Leader Bro. Eddie Villanueva, MMDA Chairman Bayani Fernando, Olongapo Councilor John Carlos Delos Reyes, and activist Nicanor Perlas (note: this is random, not by favoritism).

Of course, all of them said something about helping the poor by giving livelihood projects, and the like. You know, the same old statements we usually hear every election. But Bayani Fernando answered that question in a comical way.

He said, "Kapag pinangalanan ka ng tatay mo." When your father gave you that name (Bayani).

----------------------------------------------

Speaking of Efren Penaflorida, he just gave another honor for our country for being the CNN hero of the year 2009. Hurray!

CNN - Efren Penaflorida, who started a "puschart classroom" in the Philippines (Cavite) to bring education to poor children as an alternative to gang membership, has been named the 2009 CNN Hero of the year.

All of the viewers' comments in youtube were all positive except for this one, which I think is very true:

so sad that CNN recognized Efren's good deeds first instead of the government. I'm sure in no time politicians will be riding his popularity. - crewsnest

PS: Sorry if I always misspelled Efren's surname in this entry, but I'm really having difficulty in typing Alt 1-6-4 all at once. :)

Ice, ice baby

2009-11-18T20:52:00.002+08:00

During only this year, a lot of people died from cancer. Because of that, I became a bit paranoid of whether I would suffer from the same kind of disease when the time comes. Call me paranoid but hey, it's just a thought! We don't really know what's bound to happen. In fact, there are some people I know who have a healthy lifestyle, no family history of cancer, but they died due to the said disease.

But somehow, there might be already a cure for cancer.

I watched The Correspondents last night and they featured Cryosurgery as a means of curing cancer. Karen Davila went to Fuda Cancer Hospital in Guangzhou, China which is actually becoming popular because of the method they're using in treating cancer. Based on the documentary, there are more or less 5,000 people all over the world who are now cancer-free because of them.

Chemotherapy and radiation are the most popular method we know in terms of treating cancer. Since both are not used localized, they have wide-variety of side effects. Chemotherapy can be administered through a vein, injected into a body cavity, or can be used orally. It destroys cancer cells as well as our fast-growing cells, such as hair and blood cells. With radiation, a large machine called simulator delivers the exact amount of radiation to kill the cancer cells in a certain area. The skin around it may be reddened or irritated after the treatment. Also, radiation therapy can kill the germ-fighting cells in the blood, thereby decreasing the person's body to fight off infections, and making it necessary for the patient to have blood transfusion.

In Cryosurgery, they use a localized probe in contact with the tumor, causing the cells to freeze. The tumor is frozen, thawed, and refrozen until the malignant cells are completely destroyed. This process is monitored with ultrasound in order to preserve as much nearby healthy tissue as possible.

(using cryosurgery in treating liver cancer)

People they interviewed includes some Filipinos who are actually admitted in that hospital for series of cryosurgery treatment. One even claimed that only for 5 weeks, she was already cancer-free. The brother of Sen. Guingona also gave a testimony that after a series of chemotherapy in Manila which didn't work for him, Fuda Cancer Hospital gave him a second life.

Isn't that amazing?! Finally, a cure for cancer!

Only, you have to travel all the way to China and spend more or less Php 1,000,000! But I think it's worth it considering you also have to spend that much for chemotherapy, plus the side effects it could give you and the non-assurance that you would be cancer-free after the treatment.

I just hope after a few years, cancer patients don't have to travel to China anymore because we already have cryosurgery here in the Philippines.

Credits:

www.surgery.wisc.edu/general patients/uwmhpscryo.shtml

http://www.chemotherapy.com/treating_with_chemo/treating_with_chemo.jsp

http://kidshealth.org/teen/diseases_conditions/cancer/radiation.html

----->>> COMMERCIAL: What I love about blogger/blogspot? It automatically saves your drafts. You can recover your post even if you're such a nuthead for clicking the X button. :)

I hate being old

2009-11-12T20:34:00.004+08:00

Not that I'm afraid to have all the signs of aging, but sometimes, being old means you'll start analyzing things and understanding the why's in life.

Take these instances for example:

I have watched Notting Hill about 4 times when I was in high school. All of my aunts and my older female friends cried over the movie except for me. Back then, I was thinking maybe I'm stronger than them being the only one unemotionally attached. But when I have watched it again when I was in college, I cried pathetically with my friends for hours even after the movie had already ended. At that time I already had my fair share of heart aches and love problems that's why I can emotionally relate to these kind of movies.

Same with sad love songs. I have sung Roselle Nava's Bakit nga ba mahal kita song over and over again during my childhood days and never did I shed a tear. But I became a silly cry-baby after singing this again at a videoke party 2 years ago after being dumped by someone.

I also realize, that as I grew older, I became very cautious with my actions. It's like being accidentally wounded by a knife while chopping vegetables. The next time you use it, you'll be more careful because you don't like to be hurt and wounded again.

And I hate it when I tend to overanalyze things when in fact, there's nothing to be analyzed about.

But that's what grown-ups do. Experience helps us understand things in a better(?) perspective.

But would it be much nicer to just stay young and be carefree?

I wish!

Friends...

2009-11-09T18:37:00.001+08:00

They make you laugh your heart out.

They love and accept you for who you really are.

They help you carry your burden no matter how heavy it is.

Thank God for friends!

Christmas lights

2009-11-05T00:40:00.002+08:00

This afternoon, my grandfather asked me to go upstairs to check out what he did in our terrace. He fixed our Christmas lights. Not only did he put on the lights but he also designed it in two giant wired circles with an angel between them. It's really nice but not as beautiful as the first time I've seen it.

On second thought, I've never actually laid eyes on this Christmas lights anymore like the way I used to when I was a child.

When I used to admire our big Christmas tree with lots of adornments decorated by my grandmother. She loves decorating our Christmas tree every year. Then my grandfather will put the musical Christmas lights around the tree and all of us will put our gifts underneath it. But since my grandmother was diagnosed with a heart disease about 5 years ago, and she easily gets tired nowadays, she doesn't put up our Christmas tree anymore.

At the age of 10, I remember myself still writing a letter to Santa asking him what I want for Christmas. And he never let me down. Whenever I wake up early morning of Christmas day, my present would always be under our Christmas tree or inside a "Santa's sock" outside the window pane. My family and I was already having a difficult year during that time because both of my parents lost their jobs. But nonetheless, I still have the Christmas spirit in me so I asked Santa for a Polly pocket as his Christmas gift for me. It was already 2:30 am of Christmas day when I was about to go to the bathroom to pee when I saw my mother doing something beside our Christmas tree. I tip-toed a bit just to look a little closer on what she was doing. She was wrapping a small box with a purple art paper. I was too sleepy and groggy at that time so I just quickly went to the bathroom and went back to bed. The next day, I saw that very same box already wrapped in purple art paper under the tree. I opened it since it has my name on it. A pink Polly pocket was inside it. That was the last time I believed in Santa Clause.

As I get older, we seldom spend Christmas time together. My father went abroad and so was the sister of my mother. Being an only daughter and grand daughter in our family, I only have 4 members of my family left here. We don't put up the Christmas tree anymore. No more decorations aside from the musical Christmas lights in our terrace which by the way, doesn't play any music now. We don't wait for 12 midnight anymore to spend Noche Buena. We just have it the next day as our lunch. No god-children coming into our house anymore.

It's just like any other day. Like our birthdays when we get old. We don't anticipate and celebrate it anymore as we used to when we were young.

Seeing those Christmas lights made me wonder, when will be the next time my family and I will celebrate Christmas together again.

He's just not that into you

2009-10-29T22:32:00.004+08:00

Most of my friends are coming to me for pieces of love advice nowadays and I don't know why. I'm not a love guru who's expert about such matters (that's why this blog is entitled Everything but love life), but nonetheless, I have something up in my sleeves. :)

I bought a book by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, entitled He's just not that into you. It is so helpful and it comes in handy during times when Mr. Right turned into Mr. Wrong. I had a great time reading the book because I can relate to some of the circumstances the authors had written inside. I actually highlighted some key points which I think is important for us, women, to know and I would like to share them to you.

Here they are...

1. Meeting someone you like and dating him is supposed to make you feel better, not worse.

2. No more murky, no more gray, no more unidentified, and no more undeclared.

3. If a man is really into you, nothing will stop him from being with you.

4. Don't lower the bar because you're lonely.

5. Cheating doesn't mean "just happen". It's a complete betrayal of trust.

6. Lying, cheating, hiding is the exact opposite of the behavior of a man who's really into you.

7. Don't let your desire to be loved and feel affection cloud your judgment.

8. A man who wants to make a relationship work will move mountains to keep the woman he loves.

9. What guys do if they can't live without you: They don't break up with you.

10. Always be classy. Never be crazy.

11. Best revenge is not anger, but emotional distance.

12. Any good, mature guy better make an attempt to love your friends and family---especially when they're great.

13. Being the person who makes you feel shitty or doesn't honor the person you are, is worse.

14. The minute you realize the situation is making you feel depressed and hurt and it's really not going to go the way you want it to, please put an end to it as soon as you can.

It's really worth reading. By the time you finished reading this book, you'll be smarter to pick out the rotten tomatoes among the bunch. *wink*

I'll end this entry with this paragraph from the book:

"Don't ask yourself what you did wrong or how you could have done it differently. Don't waste your valuable heart and mind trying to figure out why he did what he did. Or thinking back on all the things he said, and wondering what was the truth and what was the lie. The only good thing you need to know is that it's really good news: He's gone. Hallelujah!"

Goodluck! :)

Credits to:

http://www.cartoonfile.net/

http://www.dating.colemantoons.com/

http://www.cartoonstock.com/

http://www.toonpool.com/

http://www.picturesof.net/pages/091023-013081-253009.html/

PBB double up love affair

2009-10-28T19:09:00.001+08:00

I have been hooked on Pinoy Big Brother double up since it started. I have always been an avid fan of this reality show. For me, this season is a lot better than the earlier seasons because I like the combination of personalities of almost all the housemates, except for Jimson (hehe). Good thing he already got evicted.

But what intrigued me the most was the love team of Princess and Tom. At first, I find them corny and unrealistic. I really don't believe that you can feel something special towards a stranger, or perhaps someone you just recently met in that short span of time. Sure, you can find each other physically attractive and maybe can develop into a crush or infatuation. But something deeper than that? Nah.

So Princess left Big Brother's house last Sunday and was not able to bid goodbye to Tom since he was on the other house. She was on PBB uber this afternoon and Big Brother gave her a chance to talk to Tom who was on the confession room at that time. I was a bit nauseated by the sight of them because I know it will be another cheesy moment. But for some weird reasons, I got emotionally affected just by watching them. I don't know if the feeling they have for each other is already strong enough to be considered as "love", but the video was very touching. I cried after watching this! :)

Can't wait to watch it on primetime later! :)

PS: I also don't like Mariel, Yhel, Yuri, and Delio. I hope they'll be evicted soon! Haha

Jinxed

2009-10-28T00:45:00.011+08:00

Scene 1 (Final interview in a call center):

Interviewer: Tell me about yourself.

Me: I'm a registered nurse. I graduated in *Insert name of school here* last 2007. I already worked in *Insert name of Middle East country here* for a year and I just came back January of this year.

Interviewer: So you don't have any call center experience?

Me: No.

Interviewer: Ok, so expect a call from us after a few days. Thank you so much for your time.

But I did not receive any call from them a few days or even weeks after that.

Scene 2 (Applying as an online English tutor for Koreans. After completing a pronunctiation test via webcam interview, i.e., reading to the interviewer a lot of english paragraphs and dialogues with proper intonations):

Interviewer: I'm sorry but we only accept people with online teaching experience.

Me: Ok. (But was actually pissed because why did they have to let me read all those paragraphs and dialogues when in fact, they should have read my resume first!)

Scene 3 (After a month of taking a drawing exam in an animations company where I would like to work as a cartoonist)

Me: (via phone) Hello, I took the drawing exam last September and I would like to know the status of my application.

Receptionist: Ok. I'll just transfer you to the HR department.

Me: (same dialogue as above)

HR staff: May I know your name please?

Me: Camille...

HR staff: (after a few minutes checking their files) I'm sorry but you weren't able to pass our exam.

Me: (Pause) Okay. Thank you. Bye.

Am I really that bad not to have a decent job in my own country?

Or should I just go back to where I've started my career? :(

Tips on how to commute

2009-09-11T01:15:00.002+08:00

It's been months since I've been here in my home land, and hey, I've had some improvements (I think). I can now chop onions and garlic. I'm doing my own grocery and I'm the one paying the bills. But what I'm really proud of myself is that I'm actually learning how to travel on my own! I know now how to commute!

And being a self-proclaimed maarte and only child who's just used to being a passenger in her Daddy's car, I made some tips on how to make yourself comfortable when traveling or taking PUVs.

Tips on how to commute

from a Sosyalera-wanna-be :)

1. Wear comfortable footwear.

There are a lot of footwear nowadays and the prices vary from the cheapest, which you can buy from sidewalk vendors or public markets, or the expensive ones with the same price as genuine leather shoes! What's the difference? Of course, the comfort! I bought a jelly-like slippers in Divisoria last summer. It actually looks like those of Grendha but it only cost me 49 Php. It was nice and comfortable, but during rainy days, expect that your feet will also be wet even though you still have it on. It's like a sponge. The more you walk in a wet pavement, the more it absorbs the water, and later on you'll find the insole of your slippers to be soaking wet! That's why I only wear those slippers whenever I'm sure there'll be no rain throughout the day.

I bought another pair of slippers at a popular clothing store. It's not expensive but it's not that cheap considering it's only rubber slippers. But I bought it anyway so I can use it during these rainy days. It's also a wedge slippers so I'm very sure my feet won't get wet. I was right. My feet don't get wet anymore, but it's very much painful to wear. I actually have callouses right now and it hurts like hell!

So now, I'm planning to buy something from Grendha (the real one) or Ipanema. Yes, it is expensive, but maybe, it will be worth it.

2. Know how much your exact fare is.

Most of the time, I will just give a 20- or a 50-peso bill because I don't know how much my exact fare is. Sometimes, the driver will give me an extra change, or sometimes he will ask me to give another peso or two. So be sure to ask and keep in mind how much your exact fare is. Most drivers are dishonest and will do anything just to earn a little more than their income (C'mon, 1 peso?).

3. Give the exact amount.

I gave a 500-peso bill to the bus conductor one time. I know, it's my fault that I don't have a smaller bill. He told me to wait for my change. I'm about to get off the bus already but I haven't received my change yet. So I asked the conductor about it. He then answered me arrogantly, "Magkano nga ulet pera mo?" Yeah, rrrrright!

4. Don't be afraid to ask.

There are still good samaritans out there that you can ask for directions in case you get lost (which I normally do! Haha). But be sure to ask those who you think are the most trustworthy among the people you will encounter. I always ask security guards and lady vendors for directions.

And of course, don't forget to thank them. Without them, I won't be able to go home and write this.. hehe

5. Familiarize yourself with places.

I don't have a sense of direction. I'm the type of person who easily forgets places. Most of the time, I forget the entrance of a place from which I entered from. But since I only have myself now to depend on, I learned how to become aware of my surroundings. I have to memorize places which can be my landmark in case I got lost. I'm still not good at it but at least I'm learning.

6. Be aware.

One of the main reasons why I didn't learn how to commute on my own before was because I got PUV-phobia (obviously, it's a made up word). Back in college, I always encounter hold-uppers especially in FX. That's why whenever I'm in a PUV, I'm always paranoid. But since I have no choice, I must desensitize* myself. I usually keep my watch, my cellphone (sometimes my digicam), large amount of money in secret pockets that hold-uppers won't usually look at. I keep smaller bills in my coin purse.

*Systematic desensitization - (psychology) A behavior therapy technique that is used to modify phobic behaviors by constructing a hierarchy of anxiety-producing stimuli and gradually presenting them to the individual until they no longer produce anxiety.

And lucky me I don't sleep in PUVs (even in airplanes). I just can't sleep sitting.

7. Walk with the crowd.

It's much safer to walk with other people than to walk alone along the busy streets and overpass, especially at night. If you're alone someone might just attack you without anybody noticing it. That's why I usually walk a bit faster when I'm alone because I want to cope up with other commuters.

8. Enjoy your trip.

No matter how hectic your day was, how long you've been waiting for the bus, either you have to stand or sit in MRT, just enjoy your trip and treat it as an everyday-adventure. I love riding airconditioned buses nowadays. It's comfortable and the fare is just fine. And every once in a while I listen to other people's gossips, read my seatmate's text messages secretly (haha), watch free movie, and a lot more things to do!

Trust me. You'll forget that you're tired once you treat your day light.

HAPPY TRIP!

Kung hindi ako nars, ako ay isang...

2008-09-15T18:17:00.002+08:00

WARNING: Mahaba ito. Hindi kita pinipilit na basahin ito. Pero kung wala kang magawa, go. Basa lang!

1. Manunulat

Nung bata ako, mahilig akong gumawa ng mga nobela. Lalo na kapag summer vacation at nakatengga lang ako sa bahay. Yung mga natirang pages ng notebooks ko o sa likod ng lumang kalendaryo, dun ko isusulat ang nobela/komiks ko. Tapos kapag natapos ko na, tuwang-tuwa lang akong ipinapabasa yun sa mga tao sa bahay namin. Kaso kadalasan, hindi ko natatapos ang isang istorya. Kasi nabo-bored na ako sa phasing ko at gusto kong gumawa ulit ng bago. Kaya naisip ko, hindi ako magtatagal bilang isang nobelista. Nung natuto naman akong magblog, nadiskubre kong mas gusto kong magsulat sa pahayagan o kaya sa magasin. Yung parang trabaho ni Jennifer Garner sa movie niyang 13 going on 30, o kaya ni Drew Barrymore sa Never Been Kissed. Yung magsusulat lang ako ng tungkol sa buhay ng mga tao, sa mga bagay-bagay na nangyayari sa paligid, etc. Kaso hindi naman ako nabigyan ng pagkakataon na tuparin ang propesyon na yun. Pero dahil sa yun pa rin ang frustration ko hanggang ngayon, may ginagawa akong libro na sana ma-ipublish ko rin sa tamang panahon. Secret kung tungkol saan . Yun nga lang, wala akong time na ipagpatuloy yung ginagawa ko. Hanggang ngayon, prologue pa lang ang nagagawa ko. Last year ko pa sinimulan yun, kamusta naman.

2. Pintor

Lingid sa alam ng karamihan, ang pagdo-drawing ay isang talent na binigay ni God sa akin (hindi ko na alam kung ano pa yung ibang talents na ibinigay Niya..hehe). Nung bata ako, dino-drawingan ko ang pader namin. Nagagalit na nga sina lolo kasi kakapintura lang ng bahay namin, binababoy ko na naman daw. Ang gamit ko lang noon ay simpleng crayola. Ang mahilig kong i-drawing nun ay mga tasa o cups na may mukha. Ewan ko ba kung bakit. Siguro kasi nung nursery ako, favorite kong kinakanta yung I'm a little teapot, short and stout... At ayun, puros mga pitsel at tasa ang kinatutuwaan ko. Hanggang sa kinalakihan ko na ang pagdo-drawing. Natutong gumamit ng colored pencils, craypas, at poster paint. Sumali pa nga ako sa poster making contest ng Jollibee noon e. Ipinadala ko noon yung drawing ko nila Jollibee at berks niya, kasama ang ibang mga bata. Idinrowing ko yun sa illustration board at ipinadala sa branch ng Jollibee na malapit sa amin. Kaso hindi naman ako nanalo. Actually, hindi ko alam kung may nanalo talaga sa contest na yun dahil wala naman akong nabalitaan. Ang alam ko lang, idinistribute daw ng Jollibee yung mga entries sa iba't-ibang public schools at hospitals. Yung entry ko, hindi ko alam kung saan na napunta (baka sa basurahan o kaya ni-recycle ng Jollibee yung illustration board).

Desidido na kong kunin ang Fine Arts bilang course ko nung elem pa lang. Kaso dahil sa pambubuyo ng mga tao sa bahay na hindi raw ako yayaman sa kursong kukunin ko, hindi ko na ipinagpatuloy pa ang plano kong yun. Sa ngayon, nagdo-drawing-drawing pa rin naman ako kapag walang ibang ginagawa kaso kulang na rin sa practice e. At isa pa, yung mga alam kong medium, hindi na uso ngayon dahil sa computers. Mas sikat ka kapag marunong kang gumawa ng anime sa computer.

3. Artista

Maarte kasi ako kaya pwede akong mag-artista.. haha. Pero oo, pangarap ko rin ito noon. Naiinis nga ako kina mama dati kasi sabi ko, bakit hindi nila ako isinali sa Little Miss Philippines noon. E di sana walang Aiza Seguerra ngayon..haha. Kaso huwag na rin. Baka maging tibash rin ako e. Joke!

4. Beauty Queen

Cute naman ako noon. Sa mga hindi nakakaalam, consistent muse ako ng classroom namin at naisasama sa mga parada simula grade 1 hanggang grade 4. Miss Singapore pa nga ako noon e. Kaya sabi ko sa sarili ko, kapag nagdalaga na ako, sasali ako sa Bb. Pilipinas. Kaso nung nagsimulang pumasok na ako sa stage ng Adolescence, marami nang nagbago. Marami ng growth spurts na nangyari (at hindi ko na dedetalyehin isa-isa). Kung nung dati lagi akong muse, nung nag-grade 5 ako, aba naman. Class officer pa rin naman ako. Pero hindi na muse, kundi sergeant-at-arms! Nung HS ako, lalong pinagsakluban na ako ng kapangitan. Hindi rin kasi ako mapag-ayos noon. Nung college ako, kahit naman paano, nag-improve na ako. Natutong mag-ayos at manamit nang tama (salamat sa mga kaibigan ko..hehe). At salamat rin sa Sensya dahil sa braces, facials, peelings, relax, rebond na naimbento. Tsk..tsk.. Feeling ko nga, kung hindi ko ginastusan ang sarili ko sa mga yan, mayaman na kami ngayon.

Ngayon, hindi ko na dream ang maging isang beauty queen. Ayoko na nga ring nanonood ng mga beauty pageants. Hindi naman sa sinumpa ko na ito. Excuse me, maganda naman na ako ngayon! (sa mata ko at sa mata ni Daddy kapag inuuto ako). Kaso, nawala lang yung thrill ko na maging isang beauty queen dahil namulat na ako sa katotohanan na hindi naman kagandahan ang nagpapaikot ng mundo. Isa pa, hindi naman lahat ng beauty queens ay masaya. In fact, mas marami nga sa kanila ang tuliro ang buhay ngayon.

5. Model

Dahil mahilig ako sa damit at mga sapatos, naisipan kong maganda siguro kung naging model na lang ako. Bukod sa sisikat na ako, marami pa akong freebies from my sponsors. Siguradong may walk-in closet ako sa bahay sa dami ng damit na ipapadala ng mga brands na ine-endorse ko.

Kaso, ipinanganak (at mamatay na rin siguro ako) ng may katawang hindi pangmodelo. Nitong last day-off ko nga, naghahanap ako ng dress. Wala lang. Kasi gusto ko, paminsan-minsan, maging babae naman. Kaso grabeh, halos 4 na oras lang naman kaming ikot ng ikot sa lahat ng stores sa loob ng mall ngunit wala akong makitang bagay sa akin. Kasya naman silang lahat actually sa akin at FYI, hindi pa XL ang size ko ha! Kaso lang, it's either makikita ang mga body fats kong itinatago. Kaya sabi ko, sige hindi na ako bibili ng dress... Kain na lang tayo ng pizza! (OMG, mas maraming calories!!)

6. TV Host

Mahilig akong magtravel. Sabi nga ni mama, lakwatsera talaga ako. Pero, ako ang lakwatserang ligawin. Yun bang papasok ako sa isang bagong mall at hindi na ko makakalabas kung hindi magtatanong kung saan ang Exit. Wala kasi akong sense of direction. Aminado naman ako dun. Pero gusto kong maging parang si Miriam Quiambao sa 100% Pinoy (o Pinoy Meets World yata, nalimutan ko na). Yun bang nakakalibot siya sa kung saan-saang lugar. Nakakasalamuha niya ang iba't-ibang lahi. Nagigisnan niya ang iba't-ibang kultura, relihiyon, at tradisyon ng mga tao. At higit sa lahat, she gets the chance to eat varieties of food for free!!! Yun ang pinakamalupit. Nag-enjoy ka na, libre pa.

Hanggang ngayon, gusto ko pa rin itong dream na ito. Kaya kung may TV crew/manager/maimpluwensiyang tao diyan na nagbabasa ng blog ko, go. I-refer mo na ako nang madiscover na ako!

7. Lead Vocalist ng isang banda

Natutuwa ako sa mga babaeng soloista ng banda. Ang astig kasi ng dating nila. Kaya pinangarap ko rin maging si Lougee ng Mojofly, o ni Aya ng Imago. Kaso sabi ko nga, limited lang ang talents na ibinigay Niya sa akin (o hindi ko pa nadidiskubre yung iba). At hindi kasama ang pagkanta sa mga talents kong iyon. Hindi naman ako sintunado. Helloo.. madalas kayang 100 ang score ko sa videoke. Kaso, alam ko namang hindi lahat ng nakaka-100 sa videokehan ay professional singer. Palakasan lang ng boses dun..hehe.

Isa pa, para sa akin, kung gusto kong maging rocker chic, kailangan marunong man lang akong tumugtog ng isang instrumento. E alam ko lang naman tugtugin ay organ. Yung sasabayan mo nang pagpindot ng daliri mo yung ilaw ng keys. Ganun ka-igno! haha. Ok. May alam naman akong tugtugin talaga sa Piano. Yung Clementine ("Oh my darling, oh my darling, oh my darling Clementine...") na simula pa nung grade 5 ako ay kabisado ko. E kasi demonyo yung music teacher ko noon e kaya hinding-hindi ko makakalimutan na pinakabisado niya sa akin yung piece na yan. Kaso, alangan namang puros iyon lang ang tugtugin ko sa gigs namin di ba. Baka batuhin kami ng mga tao. Pati mga ka-banda (kung may papayag) ko nadamay pa.

8. Engineer/Architect

Dahil nga sa hilig kong magdrawing, alternative ko itong 2 ito kung hindi man Fine Arts ang kunin ko. At ito rin ang propesyon ni Daddy kaya inuudyok rin niya akong ito ang kunin ko para magkasama raw kami sa kumpanya. Actually, hindi ko siya ganun ka-feel kasi hindi ko naman trip ang magdrawing ng mga buildings o mga bahay. At alam ko, kung ito ang kurso ko, dapat magaling ako sa Math. Magaling naman ako sa Math...nung 2nd yr HS nga lang yun. Kasi favorite ko nang sobra yung Math teacher ko noon. At sobrang inspired akong mag-aral sa Math noon. Naka-94 pa nga ako dun e. Kaso after nung 2nd yr (actually kahit before) HS, back to being an average Math student na ulit ako. Lito na ulit ako sa trigonometry at algebra..haha Kaya sabi ko, hindi na ako tutuloy maging engineer. Nasa mundo pa ako, pinapatay ko na agad ang sarili ko.

9. Teacher

Pre-school teacher to be exact, like Patty Laurel . Kasi mahilig ako sa mga bata. Lalo na yung matataba (can relate kasi ako..hehe..joke). Mamamaga sa akin yung braso at pisngi ng bata. Naisip ko rin, madali lang maging isang pre-school teacher. Makikipaglaro ka lang naman sa kanila e. Babasahan mo ng istorya. At magdo-drawing kayo buong araw. Hindi ba masaya yun? Parang back to childhood ang drama ko. Actually, naiplano ko na nga dati na magtatayo ako ng sarili kong pre-school center. Papangalanan kong CamBiERa (galing sa pangalan ko). Tapos nadesignan ko na rin yung uniform ng mga magiging estudyante ko, mga teachers, at mga security guard (siyempre pati sila kasama!). Kulay green lahat. Ngayon, hindi ko na alam kung saan ko nailagay yung mga dinrowing kong yun. HS pa yata ako nun e. Pero hanggang ngayon, feel ko pa rin namang maging pre-school teacher kung bibigyan ng pagkakataon. Yun nga lang, wala pa akong perang pampagawa ng sarili kong school. Lalo na ang pagpapatahi ng mga uniforms ng mga tao ko na kulay green.

10. Fashion Designer

Dahil mahilig nga akong magdrawing at mahilig rin ako sa damit, naisip ko noon, bakit hindi na lang sila pagsamahin? Dinrowing ko pa nga ang sarili ko noon na nananahi at nagdedesign ng damit as a fashion designer nung pinagawa kami ng art project nung grade 5 pa kami. Nakaupo ako sa harapan ng isang sewing machine at naglalagay ng mga sequins sa isang tela. Yun ang pagkakatanda ko sa drawing kong yun. Kaso lang, alam ko namang malabo sa katotohanan yung picture na yun. Unang-una, hindi ako marunong gumamit ng sewing machine. Pangalawa, hindi ako marunong manahi. Alam ko lang ay cross-stitch (na hinuhulaan ko pa ang pagtingin sa pattern) at running stitch (na hindi mo alam kung saan papunta). Yung pagbuhol nga lang ng sinulid, tinatyambahan ko pa. Hindi ko alam kung pwedeng maging fahion designer ang isang taong hindi naman marunong manahi. At naaalala ko pa, si mama ang laging gumagawa ng mga projects ko noon. Lalo na yung about sa mga pananahi. Yung pinagawa kami ng stuff toy nung 1st yr HS kami. Ginawa pa ngang model sa buong batch yung stuff toy ko e. Ang ganda kasi. Well, hindi lang nila alam, hindi ako ang gumawa nun!

Marami pa akong gustong idagdag dito. Marami pa akong Sana-naging-ganito-na-lang ako moments. Pero sa ngayon, ako ay isang nars. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ako dito idinala ng mga paa ko. Pero pagdating ng panahon (naks, nagiging Aiza na nga! haha), malalaman ko rin ang rason kung bakit sa propesyong ito ako dinala ng aking tadhana.